Blink(23)

I bent my own short and bitten nails in towards my palms and pressed them to my sides.

‘Here we are. Please, take a seat, Toni.’

As Dale walked around the far side of the table to sit next to Bryony, she glanced up at him and smiled. I tried to catch her eye to smile too, but she looked back down again to flick off her screen.

I sat opposite them and waited while Dale turned off his phone and Bryony opened her notepad. At the side of her, I recognised a printed copy of the application form and CV I’d emailed over on Friday and I swallowed hard.

Bryony had small, pinched features that were set just a tad too close together on her face, leaving her forehead and cheeks appearing a little too wide to be beautiful.

Something about the way she repeatedly straightened her notepad, pen and tablet made me wonder if she always subconsciously made amends for this physical flaw by ensuring that everything else about her and around her looked nothing less than perfect.

The characterless room was small and airless and my previously loose jacket had started to feel tight and constrictive across my back and under my arms.

I jutted out my bottom lip and blew my fringe away from my sticky face.

Bryony choose this exact moment to make eye contact for the first time. She appraised me coolly and didn’t return my harried smile.

Dale introduced himself again and turned to her.

‘As I mentioned, this is Bryony James, our residential sales and lettings manager. If you’re successful, Bryony will be your line manager.’

I smiled again and nodded to Bryony, who simply pressed her narrow lips into a tight line by way of a compromise against remaining completely sour-faced.

Dale laced his fingers together on the desk in front of him and leaned forward slightly.

‘So, why don’t you start by telling us a little bit about yourself, Toni, and why you’ve applied for the position?’

I started off well, giving a quick resume of my education and career to date. I was careful not to dwell on my senior position at the last agency and I made sure I retained eye contact with them both as I spoke.

‘You don’t have a degree?’ Bryony remarked.

‘No, I finished my formal education at A levels,’ I said. ‘From there, I worked my way up.’

‘Nothing wrong with that,’ Dale said cheerfully. ‘Shows substance.’

‘I notice there are a couple of gaps in your CV.’ Bryony glanced down at her copy of my application. ‘Five years ago there seems to be a year missing and then it looks like you haven’t been working for the last couple of years at all. Fancy a bit of a break from selling property, did you?’

A flare of resentment spiked in my chest.

Actually, Little Miss Know-It-All, I’ve worked bloody hard these last two years, I wanted to say. Harder than I’ve worked in my life. Just to stay sane and get through the crap.

‘Five years ago, I took twelve months maternity leave when I had my daughter, Evie,’ I said, and wondered if I’d imagined the wisp of disapproval that appeared to flit over her face. ‘And two years ago, I had to stop working for personal reasons.’

I’d already considered how I was going to handle Andrew’s death if it came up in conversation. I’d decided I didn’t want to discuss it in an interview situation; it just didn’t seem right and I’d put myself at risk of getting emotional.

‘Personal reasons?’ Bryony raised an eyebrow.

‘Yes,’ I said. ‘I had no choice but to stop working temporarily.’

‘Go on.’

‘Circumstances were out of my control at that point in time but happily my situation has now changed.’

How many different ways did she want me to say it?

We stared each other out in silence.

My heart thumped, my ears rang and my face burned. But job or no job, I’d made my mind up. I wasn’t going to be bullied into baring my soul. Not here, in front of people I’d only just met.

Dale coughed and fiddled with his copy of my CV.

‘You’ve certainly got a wealth of experience, Toni,’ he said approvingly. ‘On both sides of the business, too. Sales and lettings.’

I broke eye contact with Bryony and nodded at Dale, grateful for his intervention.

‘I enjoy working in both areas,’ I said. ‘I know this opening is for the lettings side, but I’m happy to be flexible.’

‘But you’re aware this is the assistant’s position?’ Bryony frowned. ‘Isn’t this job rather a step down for someone with your experience?’

‘It’s true I’ve had a wide range of experience, but less responsibility suits me better at this point in my life.’

The heat in my face seemed to be building. I wished I had a glass of water and that they’d open the door behind me, to let a little air circulate through the stuffy space.

‘You mentioned a daughter. Is she at school now?’ Bryony asked. ‘I assume you have flexible childcare arrangements in place, because there are occasions you might be asked to work late or come in a few hours early in busy periods.’

I opened my mouth to answer her and then closed it again.

Would she have asked a male candidate that question? A twisty heat begin to simmer in my chest.

‘Let’s remember this position is only part-time, Bryony,’ said Dale. ‘I’m sure Toni would be willing to be flexible if required.’