Blindness(85)

“No you’re not. I’ve got you. Look at me,” Cody says, his eyes focused on mine, willing me. I keep kicking, reaching up with my other arm, until finally he has that one too, and he starts to pull me backward. Soon Gabe is grabbing my elbow, and the two of them have me back up on level ground.

I’m crying hard now, mostly from terror, and Cody is sitting back on his hands, his breathing hard. Jessie and Trevor are standing at the platform, and with Jessie’s urging, I make my way over to her on shaky legs. She puts her arm around me and slowly walks me down the stairs; I notice Trevor doesn’t follow.

“Damn,” Jessie says. She’s calm about it, nothing like the quivering mess I am.

“Damn what?” I say, my voice shaky, just like the rest of me.

“I can’t really punch you in the face after something like that. Just…pisses me off. That’s all,” she says, curling the side of her mouth up into a smile. I smile back and reach for her hand, even more relieved when she holds it.

I hear the thumping of the metal stairs as Gabe and Trevor make their way down, and I hear the vibration of Cody’s bike as he rumbles up next to us, tossing his helmet to the ground. He’s in front of me seconds later, sitting on one knee and rolling up the legs of my pants so he can cover my scrapes in bandages and Neosporin.

“That wasn’t funny,” he says, not looking me in the eye.

“It wasn’t supposed to be funny. You scared me. You were going to get hurt,” I say, my heart sinking at the thought of what could have happened if I had been a few minutes too late.

“Probably,” Cody says, his face a half-smile.

“Okay, what the f*ck!” Trevor says, his shadow blocking the light from Cody’s eyes.

Cody sets the first-aid kit down in front of me and stands up, brushing his hands off. “I know, I know. I’m really sorry, Trev. I ruined the game for you, it’s my fault really…” Cody starts to explain, but Trevor cuts him off, pushing him back, away from me.

“No, not that. I mean what the f*ck is going on, here—with you two?” he says, his face growing redder, and his jaw flexing with every word.

Cody just slumps his arms to the side and takes a deep breath before he looks at me. He’s waiting—he wants me to do it, here and now—but I’m paralyzed. I can see his thoughts behind his eyes, begging me. I try to open my mouth, but my lips are dry, and all I can do is gasp and stutter.

Cody pulls his lips into a tight line and sucks in, rolling his shoulders back, readying himself before he faces Trevor. “I love her,” he says, and I feel my body slide forward from the chair as the wind flees my lungs.

“What the f*ck do you mean you love her?!” Trevor says, getting closer to Cody, standing with him toe-to-toe. Cody has him in height, but Trevor’s thicker, and I know he’s strong. I grip the bottom of my chair, trying to find courage.

“I’m sorry, Trevor,” is all that comes out, but it seems to be enough. Trevor steps back a few paces, his hands flying to his forehead, his eyes wide. He turns away from all of us, and I stay in my chair, watching his every movement as he paces back and forth, mumbling to himself. I glance at Cody, and he’s looking at me, his mouth curved into the slightest smile, his hands tucked into his pockets, and in that minute, I know I did the right thing.

“You piece of shit!” Trevor yells as his fist launches into the side of Cody’s jaw. Cody falls onto his back on instinct, and Trevor sits on him, pinning him to the ground while he continues to beat Cody’s face. Finally, he fights back, pushing Trevor back on his heels.

“It wasn’t like that, Trevor. It just happened, man. I just get her,” Cody says, trying to make Trevor understand, trying to calm him down.

“Get her?” Trevor yells back. “You hardly f*cking know her!”

Cody’s face falls, and he stands up to push Trevor back a few more times. “No, you don’t get to f*cking do that, man. You’re the one who doesn’t know her. You don’t know a damn thing about who she really is! You just want to turn her into your damned perfect wife, someone who’ll sit back and play house with you, be there waiting for you when you come home from work. But you’ve never once really thought about what Charlie likes or what Charlie wants!” Cody’s hands are shaking as he grabs a fistful of Trevor’s shirt. “But I do care what Charlie wants. That’s the thing, I care a whole f*cking lot! It’s my number-one goddamned priority!”

Trevor looks stunned, his arms limp at his sides and his eyes intent on Cody’s. I can see him swallowing hard, trying to keep his emotions in check, cool and calm, just like he always is. But he can’t do it—not today—and soon his fist is busting Cody’s nose, and blood is filling his shirt and splattering on the dirt around him as Trevor continues to throw blows.

“Stop it!” I yell, standing to my feet and trying to push myself between the two of them.

My phone rings, and my favorite Killers song blasts through the small moment of silence between the grunts and the sounds of knuckles hitting flesh. I press ignore, but seconds later it’s ringing again. I ignore once more, yelling from the side while Trevor and Cody roll along the ground, each fighting to gain dominance, pulling and ripping shirts. When my phone rings a third time, I pull it from my pocket and see my aunt’s picture. Just wanting her to stop, I swipe to answer.