Blinding Trust (Mitchell Family, #7)(81)

I made my way into the kitchen and leaned against the countertop to regain my composure.

Hands wrapped around my waist and I felt Gavin breathing against my ear. “I’m sorry. I had a shitty day and told some of the guys they could come over and watch the game tonight. I didn’t mean to be a dick to you.”

I turned around and looked into his eyes. “Sometimes I feel like you don’t even care about me anymore. It’s like you don’t even consider my feelings.”

He frowned in a joking kind of way. “I’m sorry.” His hand slid up the back of my shirt. Right away, it gave me the shivers. When he reached my bra line, I gasped and leaned back on the counter.

“Am I still attractive to you?” I knew I wasn’t ugly; in fact, I got hit on all the time. After having two kids, I had nice curves, but was still petite and pretty thin. My hair was long, half down my back, with different colored blonde streaks through it. I didn’t have wrinkles and my breasts didn’t sag. I could spend minimal time in the bathroom and feel good about myself.

He kissed the side of my head and pulled me into his arms. “Of course you are.”

I slid my hands up the back of his shirt and pulled his warm body against mine. “You never want to spend time alone anymore. Is there someone else?”

He pulled away and started to walk out of the room, before turning to point right at me. “I can’t believe you went there, again.” He shook his head and then rubbed his face. “Look, I know you don’t feel well. I’m just going to call my friends and see if we can hang at one of their houses instead.”

Okay? I guess I pissed him off again. Maybe it was always my fault that he avoided me. He could tell me that his cheating meant nothing, but it didn’t hurt me any less. I felt like if I was doing my job being a wife, then he wouldn’t have had to do it in the first place. Maybe if I had my mother to talk to she could tell me what to do. It wasn’t like his mother was ever going to be on my side.

I watched Gavin walk all the way outside into the cold dark night to make his phone calls. It seemed weird to me, but since I’d already pissed him off about my trust issues, I knew it wasn’t a good time to accuse him of being secretive again. Still, I stood at the window and watched his body language. He was all smiles and even laughing at times. I turned away from the window when I saw him hanging up.

He came right inside and walked past me. “It wasn’t a problem. I’m just going to head out.”

I just stood there, still thinking about how happy he seemed to be talking to his friends. He never looked at me that way. I don’t think he would have smiled at me unless I’d fallen on my face. It just rubbed me the wrong way.

What also bothered me was the fact that he’d put on cologne to go play cards with the guys. I considered saying something, but knew it would just cause a tremendous fight between the two of us. As he was walking out, he leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “Try to go to sleep when the kids do. You look tired.”

I expected an ‘I love you’, except he didn’t offer it.

There was definitely something wrong if he would rather be with his friends, than home with his family. Sick or not, I still required some love and understanding. Against his threats, I decided to internet search sites about cheating. I’d only caught him the last time because the girl he was seeing was the mother to one of my children’s friends, who we happened to know since we were in grade school. It didn’t just rip my heart to shreds. His actions humiliated me.

Why was it so hard for him to dedicate himself to our family? What was I doing wrong?

For the next couple of days I did everything in my power to do nice things for my husband. I’d even gone and gotten some new underwear and planned a romantic evening between the two of us. With Gavin’s mother on board, I had a babysitter for the night.

After I dropped them off and came home, I showered and put on only my new bra and panties. I felt sexy and spent an extra few minutes really dolling myself up. I was excited. We hadn’t had a night alone in so long. I just wanted it to be perfect.

Gavin usually came home around six. By that time, I’d had dinner done and was just waiting for him to walk in the door. It may have looked ridiculous, but I sprawled myself across the couch, trying my hardest to look seductive.

I wasn’t sure what time it was at first, but I woke up when I heard the back door opening. I stretched out my arms, realizing that I’d fallen asleep waiting for him. I straightened up the little bit of fabric I had on and walked into the kitchen.

Gavin was standing over the table, eating with his hands. He cocked an eyebrow when he saw me walk in wearing only underwear. “It’s nearly seven. I’ve been waiting for you.”

“Where are the kids and why aren’t you wearing any clothes?” He continued shoving the meat into his mouth.

“They’re at your mother’s for the night. I planned a nice night for us.” I put my hands on my hips expecting him to react to what I had on.

He reached over and grabbed a roll and took a bite out of it. Then he pointed down at the table. “You made this for us? It tastes pretty good.”

Pretty Good? “Where have you been? You could have called.”

“I was at the shop. We had people there, Vessa. I couldn’t just come home and leave them there. It’s bad for business.” He grabbed another roll and started to walk past me. “I’m getting a shower.”