Blakeshire (Insight #9)(9)

I have to figure out how to use this last blow to my advantage. And for a foolish, girlish second, I thought that maybe if I didn’t have the emotion of fear anymore that I would have the will to let Drake in, to let him see the real me, not the jealous, stubborn woman that was too afraid to tell him that he would always be my first and last obsession within this life.

I had to smile a little when I thought of last night. Even though I was in pain for most of it, Drake made me forget that; he made me forget because I couldn’t help but be absorbed by him, be nervous, curious and excited all at once. He was so freaking addictive.

Even though seeing was second nature to me, that at a glance I could see someone’s past, it was harder with him. I think it’s because he always has his guard up. I guess you have to if you are meant to rule a few billon souls and a demon is bartering to take over your body so he can have that rule.

The thing is, even though Drake was helping Willow, my twin, fight a master Escort and current ghost named Donalt, and my best friend Charlie was fighting another master Escort named Xavier—I think I have my own waiting on me.

Yeah, I’m pretty sure something sinister has been trying to steer me off course, and when my insights were amped up, I was distracted. If I were the enemy, I would have played this the same way—which leaves me to believe, broken or not, that I was given a gift tonight by Monroe.

That phantom woman that scared me as a child made a mistake. She chose to use fear to hide something from me. I suppose she thought that emotion would keep me away, but I don’t have that barricade anymore, which begs the question as to why I lost that emotion. Why Monroe was selective in which emotions she returned and which ones she took away from me.

I reached to rub my temples. As always, my mind had too many questions and the answers I found always led me to dig a little deeper: right back into obsession.

The knock on the door grew more intense. I breathed in. I didn’t smell anything beyond the soap that I had scrubbed every inch of body with. I hated going into that realm. I hated Escorts. I hated reaching into them and pulling their evil essence out. At least I used to hate that; now, I just didn’t want the stench of sulfur on me.

As hard as I had scrubbed, I was surprised I had any skin left. I tightened the towel around my body and let the one around my long, dark hair down.

Just as I managed to get the tangles out of my damp hair, Aden appeared. That was another gift my cousins and I shared, along with Charlie: if we had seen a place in someone’s thoughts, we could manifest there. I wasn’t sure exactly how we did that, if we were moving our souls or just projecting a tangible image of ourselves. Either way, that was one cool aspect of being abnormal.

Aden’s pensive, yet fierce stare dominated his deep green eyes. Even though Aden was an identical twin to his brother Draven, they were night and day. Aden was a hard-core drummer that showed no mercy with any beat he was given, but without his drums he was a philosopher, a deep thinker that often carried a concern with the words he spoke. Don’t get me wrong, he is very confident, fearless, but at the same time he is vastly overprotective to the point where he worries about crap that has not happened yet. I guess I kinda do, too. Maybe that is why out of the two of my twin cousins, Aden was the one I fought with the most and got along with the best.

“Don’t tell me that I should have knocked because I have been knocking for an hour,” he said as he folded his arms across his broad chest and all but glared down at me.

I stared blankly at him, trying to test my senses. I was almost sure I could feel his concern, but then again I could just be judging his outward appearance, the warm, brotherly embrace his energy was extending in my direction.

“Don’t worry, there’s plenty of hot water,” I responded dryly.

“I don’t want a shower, Maddie.”

“I’m not a little girl anymore. Madison,” I corrected with no emotion in my voice.

“You’re acting like one, hiding in the bathroom.”

“I’m not hiding. I’m thinking.”

“Then we are going to think together.”

I let out a deep sigh. Before, when I began to say what was on my mind, grief and sorrow would halt the words from flowing. I couldn’t bear to walk away from the three people on this planet that I let get the closest to me, but my emotion of grief was on hiatus. “No, that is just it…I think we all need to go our own ways.”

“Have you lost your freaking mind?”

Yeah, that made him mad. I didn’t feel that emotion on the inside like I did before, more so on my skin; it was like a slight stabbing sensation. I could handle this far better than what I was enduring when I woke up this morning.

“Not my mind,” I breathed. Oddly, it felt so good to let that out, to finally say what had been in my head for a while.

The anger in his eyes faded and the concern took over as he took a seat on the edge of the tub. His dominant, square jawline flinched once. “What happened to you in The Realm?” I could see his green eyes shift to black, and I knew he was seeing the answer to his question; my perception of it anyway.

I flinched, remembering seeing fire consume Monroe as I remembered having no regard for my own life. That girl was special, and my gut was telling me that the best way to protect her now would be to follow my own path.

“Nothing,” I said as I prepared to sum up what had happened. I didn’t want him to worry about me. Before, I would have seen his energy and felt his emotion, but now I could only judge his image, which was crystal clear without all the auras invading my line of sight. “I threw a few damned souls into the real world, was pulled into a war zone. Saw Monroe in trouble, saved her, and then—voila, we came home and I’ve been enjoying an everlasting hot bath.”