Blakeshire (Insight #9)(29)
“And not because she loves Landen,” was my very dry comeback, even though I truly believed each word he was speaking.
“No…because you are his rush. A rush that ignited his soul the moment his eyes met yours. He knows that no other soul could ever make him feel that way.”
I wasn’t sure what a rush was, but hearing it roll off Vade’s lips made it seem absolutely divine.
“Reading his thoughts?” I uttered with hope.
“Intently.” Vade adjusted his lean on the rail as he crossed his arms and stared at the doorway that led to Drake. Knowing that the air around us was growing tight, I remained silent. “Drake is a wise leader. He knew that to save his people he must have the dimension of Chara on his side. And to do that, he must ensure that Landen and Willow both remained alive. He was, as he says, ‘on a stage performing.’”
“He has emotions that are true,” I grumbled.
He moved his head slowly from side to side as his stare seemed to find something familiar in my sharp words. “And that should be expected. You cannot fight and die next to souls without developing some form of bond…and if we are comparing sins, Drake did not fall into the arms of the one he must destroy.”
“Are you trying to tell me that while he was hooking up with Willow in a past life, I was arm in arm with a sovereign that I have to kill in order to survive?” Oh God, the guilt I felt was so strong that a wave of nausea washed over me.
The grave stare in those diamond eyes echoed a yes. “Drake’s life was charted to cross the path of a woman that looked just like his soul mate, a woman that shared similar tastes and outlooks on life as his rush…you were not plotted; you fell gracefully into the wrong arms.”
“Maybe it was for revenge. Maybe I was keeping my enemies close,” I stated in instant defense.
I had no idea where this guilt or defensiveness was coming from. It was like a little voice deep inside was waking up and hashing out old arguments that I was oblivious to.
“Perhaps. Nevertheless, as you say, the past cannot be undone, and the fault for both betrayals lies within your first life.”
Once again, I let the silence tighten the air around us. If this was a dream, I already knew what my subconscious was trying to tell me: not to point a finger unless one day I wanted to find that finger squarely pointed back at me.
Vade’s eyes moved slowly across my face, which had become frozen in an angry scowl. “If your mind is searching through his recent deeds, let me put your emotions at ease. He had doubts about Willow the first instant he saw her in his dreams, and then in real life. Of course, at that point he was too furious to care. Anger. That is my essence and what has brought him forth to this fated course. He will fight anger, along with the obsession you are set to rule.”
I tilted my head slightly, evaluating what he was saying, trying to see the larger image of all that was occurring not only to me, but also to my closest friends, as well as Willow and Landen.
“I know someone who struggles with anger,” I muttered, thinking of my cousins, mainly Draven, who conveniently in some way reminded me of Drake.
“That, you do,” he said with a nod as if my thoughts were on point.
I could not help wondering how deeply this guy was connected to us.
“I halfway think this is a dream. I don’t understand what you are wanting out of this conversation. Before you came, I already told him I loved him. I already told myself to stop talking about Willow.”
“He did not hear your words.”
“I’ve never told anyone that,” I said with a quiver, knowing that speaking those words while looking into Drake’s spellbinding eyes would take more courage than I had ever been known to have.
“Now, that is untrue. You have spoken it to one soul—although, as I said, he did not hear you speak them in this life.”
“We just met.”
“That is untrue.”
“Okay, fine. I can’t handle being hurt by anyone, and he has the power to crush me with the slightest rejection. Actions speak louder than words anyway, especially words that are overused, not to mention that they will put him in even more danger. We are both fighting evil, and we cannot afford to show even the slightest weakness at this point.”
“Actions do speak louder,” he said with a slight grin.
His stare then cascaded over me. “This will be a very distant dream, deep in your subconscious. You will not remember this conversation in detail, but I have no doubt you have overcome any insecurities about where his devotion lies.”
Did he just call me insecure? I didn’t care that it was the truth; I didn’t want to hear it, especially from a stranger. And did he honestly think that I didn’t have the brainpower to remember a night like this? I started to take in every sense I had: the scent of the air, the clothes I was wearing, the sound of nature in the fields around us. One way or another, I would remember this because like it or not, I did need to hear what he’d said. I did need to get over the past.
“What is the point then?”
“The point is that your mind is powerful and you will take what I have said tonight and pull from it. That intuition will lead you through what lies ahead and hopefully ease your worries about where my fated essence interests lie.”
“Fated essences,” I said under my breath as I tried to figure out exactly what Drake was to him.