Blakeshire (Insight #9)(13)
He had lost his ever-loving mind if he thought I was going to fall for that line. That is like a boy hitting you and telling you it will never happen again and buying you a present or something. Whatever.
“All I have ever wanted on this plane of existence is you.”
“How stupid do you think I am?”
His steel blue eyes narrowed as he looked at me, clearly judging my words.
“What were you told?” he finally said, which led me to believe that he had a few secrets of his own and that he was trying to figure out what line from his playbook to use on me next. Oddly, the rage I felt in him then caused fear to swell in my soul, not for myself, but for Drake. I went with my gut instinct and lied to him.
“Nothing. No one has ever bothered to reveal my past to me, and that is a shame because now I will never understand this odd pull I had to you.”
The anger in his emotion faded, and on the inside I sighed. It’s not that I didn’t think that Drake could handle Britain; I just knew that no one needed that drama, that and of course my gut was screaming at me to shut my mouth and not let Britain in on any of my wandering thoughts.
“The fact that you felt a pull to me should be all the answer you need.”
The first time I saw Britain, we stared at each other for what felt like an eternity. I’m sure on the outside it looked like I was spellbound by him, but in reality I was trying to figure out why every ounce of my essence was telling me to end him, that I would have to one day, that I needed to bide my time and play the part of the fool until I figured out why.
As the days went by, that feeling never really went away, but my obsessiveness pulled me closer to him. At one time, he had me convinced that in the past I tried to kill him but my heart would not let me, that he knew that meant that we were fated, enemies that could come together as one and change the course of the world. I never completely bought that, but I felt relieved that he had admitted that I had gone head-to-head with him before.
“You know me better than that. I need facts. I need proof. And you have decided to let your actions speak louder than your evasive explanations.”
“You’re too mad to understand this,” he said, glancing away. “What was I supposed to do, Madison? I can’t go to Chara; it’s forbidden unless you are wanted. Tell me exactly what was I supposed to do? Wait here? Wait for him to break your heart and you to run back? Or worse, wait for Charlie to get you killed? I will use any stepping stone I have to in order to get to you. Remember that for as long as you live, for I will always be your shadow, that thought that whispers, ‘What if…’”
He let his words sting the tense air around me before he began again.
“If he ever holds you, you will smother under his way of life, under his dominance, under the reality that you are nothing more than a replacement, a substitute in this life. You will know that he is yearning for the next life, the one he will have with her, all the while knowing I would have held you without hesitation or pause, without thinking of a girl who looks just—like—you.”
I guess he had figured out a few things about me. He knew that I sought reasonable doubt. If I found it, I moved on to find a better solution or explanation. He wanted to give me doubt about Drake. Like I needed help in that department.
But what he didn’t realize was that right now he was digging his own grave. If he had given a damn about me, he would have figured out that I was measuring every breath because I was in pain; he would have seen the battle scars on my soul. Instead, he was too busy trying to stake a claim on something that I had never given him. I mean, hell, I could count the number of times I’d kissed him on one hand. It was all words and glances with us, was; there was no us now.
If I never saw Britain again, it would be too soon.
Chapter Three
Madison
Aden was intently staring at my wandering thoughts. When he saw what I went through with Britain, he let out a low grunt from deep within his broad chest. That was his way of cussing.
“I’m going to kill him,” he said under his breath.
“Why? I don’t care.”
“See, there we go right back to the fact that you’re sick. You should be furious.”
“Aden, I didn’t care before I lost my emotions.”
He raised his brow and gave me a once over. “Are you going to let me see those dreams of Drake?”
“No.”
“Why?” he bit out.
“Because they’re private.”
“I need to know if he is going to hurt you, Maddie.”
“According to Drake, I am the one with the dagger to his heart.”
“Was that his line?” he said with a smirk.
“No, I saw it in him.”
“We don’t have time for that boy, or any of this,” he muttered.
“You don’t have time for this. This is my issue, not yours.”
“I’m not backing away.”
“All right then, let’s talk about your dreams. Heard any violins lately?” I snapped.
Aden had been haunted by the sound of a violin for years now. He dismissed it because sometimes he would hear it around Draven, too, not just when he was alone. But I knew there had to be something to it. Last night when he was on stage playing the hell out of the song that we used to get into The Realm, I saw him fall into the vicious sound of the violin that had been added to the heavy metal song we jammed with. I saw him close his eyes and move his head to the rhythm of that sound instead of the sound he was making. I never missed anything. Obsessive. That sound was seducing my cousin’s mind, and I had no doubt it would lead him to the soul that would seduce far more than that.