Beyond the Horizon (Sons of Templar MC #4)(56)

“What was his name?” I whispered finally.

Pain, pure agony that my kindred soul recognized swam at the depths of his eyes.

“Benjamin,” he replied softly with a sad smile.

“Does it ever stop hurting to say his name? To remember his face?” I choked out.

Asher’s hand tightened on my neck. “No,” he said slowly. “But you get stronger, learn how to recognize that you can handle the hurt, that it won’t kill you.”

I chewed my lip. I wasn’t strong. I couldn’t even handle public speaking, crowds, meeting new people. How could I ever be strong enough to live with this pain?

Asher’s hand went under my chin to make me meet his eyes once more. “You’re strong,” he declared, reading my mind. “I know you spend your life doubting that, but I’m standing right here in awe of the strength that my little flower has without even recognizing it,” he promised. “Stop running, babe. You can handle it.”

I stared at him for a long moment, then glanced at the building in front of us. I turned my head back to him.

“Okay,” I whispered.

Asher smiled again, he bent to kiss my nose gently before releasing me, moving his hand firmly to clasp mine. And we walked in together, me trying to lift my feet with the weight of grief that had been like a dumbbell for weeks. It wasn’t any lighter, but Asher was right, my ability to carry it around had seemed to increase. I was stronger. Only a little, but it was enough to make a difference.





“You and Asher? You’re a thing?” Gwen half squealed when we made it to them. “You’re a sly little minx.” She winked at me with a smile. “Of course, we all knew he had eyes for you.” She winked again.

I felt myself go red with embarrassment. Asher pulled me into his body as if he could sense me crawling back into my shell. He kissed my hair.

Gwen watched with a huge smile. “Oh, holy shit balls, if that isn’t the cutest thing I’ve ever seen, I don’t know what is,” she exclaimed.

“Gwen, language,” Cade clipped, his eyes twinkling but his tone scolding. His eyes pointedly resting on his daughter’s head.

Gwen’s eyes darted to her husband’s. She rolled them. “Seriously? The man with the mouth of well ... a biker is chastising me for cursing in a decidedly curse-worthy situation? Belle didn’t even hear,” she told him firmly.

As if on cue, a little dark head popped up. “Shit balls,” she parroted in her cute little toddler voice, her beautiful eyes glued on her father. Cade gave Gwen a pointed look then shook his head.

We were all silent for a moment then I burst out laughing. Like, proper, actual laughing. When I stopped, I saw Gwen was wiping a fake tear from the side of her eye, Cade even had a small smile. I glanced up at Asher to see his face devoid of any kind of humor. Instead, he was staring at me with blazing eyes. I didn’t have time to inspect it because Gwen pushed off the sofa, the bundle in her hands being transferred to her husband who expertly jostled Belle so he could cradle Kingston in his huge arms. I would be lying if I said my ovaries didn’t pulse just a little at that sight.

“This occasion, as with most occasions in life, calls for a cocktail,” she declared, her twinkling eyes on me. “You can help me make them,” she decided, snatching my hand and yanking me out of Asher’s arms.

Before I had any chance to say anything, I was being dragged across the clubroom to the bar in the corner. I looked over my shoulder at Asher, who was grinning with his arms crossed, shook his head. I surprised myself by grinning back.

“Okay, so I’m not technically allowed to drink cocktails since I’m breastfeeding,” Gwen scrunched up her nose as she pushed a prospect out of the way and bustled behind the bar. “But I’ve pumped for the night so I should be able to have one,” she informed me, and the prospect went pale. She glanced over at him. “Dude, if you’re going to patch into the Sons you’re going to have to deal with a lot more scarier things than my breast milk,” she informed him with a straight face.

He blanched even further, his panicked eyes darting between us before making his escape. Gwen grinned as soon as his back was turned. I let out another little laugh. The happiness took me by surprise. Sorrow still tainted it, and I was aware of the slight pressure in my chest at being in an uncomfortable environment. But Asher was right, I was stronger.

Gwen started to mix drinks, unearthing two cocktail glasses. It was pretty comical seeing the bar at a biker clubhouse equipped with cocktail making implements, but I didn’t think the Sons were worried about losing their bad ass reputation. It was firmly in place.

“So,” she said, turning serious. “You and Asher. That’s new?”

I sat down on the stool in front of the bar. “Um … kind of?” My voice rose up at the end, betraying me.

Gwen’s eyes narrowed, and she placed the bottle in her hand down on the bar to give me her full attention.

“Kind of?” she repeated with a raised brow.

My eyes darted back to where Asher was sitting with Cade and a couple of other men I didn’t recognize. He was playing with Belle. Cue womb squeeze.

Fingers clicked in front of my face.

“Lily. Do not go into a fugue state perving at your man. I need details,” she commanded.

I focused my eyes back on her. “Well, we may have had a ... thing three years ago,” I explained slowly.