Beyond the Horizon (Sons of Templar MC #4)(23)

My mind had been whirling, swimming in the complexities that came with that evil word. Cancer.

We were going back to the doctors tomorrow. I was meant to go back home today, back to school tomorrow, but there was no way mom could convince me to. I wouldn’t let her go through one step more of this alone. I’d drop out of college and move back here if that’s what it took.

I’d had multiple calls on my cell from a blocked number throughout the past few days, and had ignored them initially because of shame. Shame at the realization that I’d never be able to be whoever Asher needed. That I couldn’t function in his world. He may have taken my breath away, but situations like the one I’d been in the other morning stole it from me, left me gasping.

He had texted me first. I had no idea how he’d even gotten my number.



Asher: Babe. Thought I made myself clear, I didn’t want you going anywhere. Where the f*ck are you?



There was no greeting nor sign off. Obviously, Asher decided he needed no introduction. I had immediately deleted the text. I’d desperately wanted to respond, to answer the calls, but I didn’t even know what I’d say. What explanation could I give?

My phone had dinged earlier today, before the news.



Asher: You don’t want this? Then let me know. But I know you do. We both do. Don’t run from this.



I had entertained the idea of responding, of trying to be brave and follow my heart, try to ignore my traitorous head. He’d still been in the back of my mind throughout all this. That was the problem. How selfish could I be? My mom was just diagnosed with cancer, I was worrying about my love life? No. I had to take care of her. That had to be over. It never would have worked anyway. I could barely function in the world my mom had brought me up in, the one with happiness and free love and no judgment. Their world—the scary, enticing and dangerous world would chew me up and spit me out.

So when I’d opened the door, I hadn’t been ready. I had been raw.

“What the f*ck, Lily?” I was immediately greeted with a hot and enormous biker taking up the doorway. His eyes were blazing with anger.

I jerked in surprise then whipped my head behind me to make sure Mom wasn’t in the immediate vicinity. She did not need this. I quickly stepped out of the door, closing it behind me. This motion caused me to get right in Asher’s grill, my body brushing his. I tried to scramble out of his manly stratosphere, but hands on my hips stopped me.

I ignored this. Or tried to. “What are you doing here?” I hissed. “Are you stalking me?” I added, registering the fact that he not only knew where my mom lived, but also the fact that I was here and not in Tasman Springs.

His brows furrowed and the hands tightened. “I’ve been asking myself the same thing since the moment I got off my bike,” he responded, his eyes on mine. “You left, normally I’m not one to chase, to try to figure out what goes on in women’s heads with this kind of shit….” he paused, his face gentling and brushing my hair out of my face, “but this particular head, I want to know what went through it to make you leave. To make you run. From us,” he mused softly.

A lance of pain joined the agony I had surrendered to since my mom told me. This was different. I couldn’t let it in.

I frowned at him. “How do you know where I live?” I asked, dodging the beautiful words he’d uttered. “How did you know I was even here?” I added.

His eyes turned hard at my response. “Your roommate informed me, after treating me to an impressive array of curse words, I didn’t even know existed. That’s saying something, considering the men I call brothers,” he explained with a twinkle in his eyes.

“Bex,” I muttered. I’d told her little about what happened with Asher, though I hinted at the fact that I didn’t belong in that world. That I wasn’t strong enough. She had argued vehemently with this and had urged me to answer Asher’s calls. It seemed she was taking matters into her own hands by disclosing my location.

His face hardened once more. “You wanna let me in on the reason why I came back to an empty bed two days ago? Why I got no explanation? Why you’ve been ignoring me?” he asked in a brisk voice. “Shit move, flower. After what we had,” he accused.

Normally, the face of such fury, or the mere presence of a male, let alone one like this would turn me into a mute mess, I failed to flinch in the face of his anger. Not this time. I didn’t know whether it was the shock of the news my mom had dumped on me, or the fact I felt different with Asher. It wasn’t up for inspection right now. Or ever. He needed to leave.

“I thought I’d do us both a favor and do what you wanted me to do and leave,” I told him flatly. I’d been lying to myself the reasons why he’d been calling me, texting me, was because of the fact he didn’t like someone disobeying his alpha orders, not because he felt for me what I felt for him.

His already dark face turned stormy. He leaned in. “What are you talking about? Did anything about my actions that night, and the morning after, communicate the fact I wanted you to leave?” he asked slowly.

Somewhere deep down I realized the truth in his statement. He had wanted me to stay. Treated me like I was something more than I was. I was too easily swayed to think otherwise. My mind was too quick to think the worst.

“Yeah, flower. I know you’re innocent, not experienced, so I was trying to be patient. But I can’t. Not with you. You already f*ckin’ consume me. One goddamned night and you’re under my skin,” he whispered, his anger melting away.