Bender (The Core Four #1)(50)
So where did Camden fit in to all of this? I was definitely frustrated with him for not telling me about the frat’s history. If he’d known about it, he should have said something, not just warn me away from Luke. I’d thought his only reason for doing that was because he was jealous. What a ridiculous thought. Camden couldn’t be jealous… could he? I knew we had something going on between us, but was it what I thought it was? Clearly my track record with figuring out men wasn’t very on point. But Camden had kissed me, he had pushed me to the brink of orgasm, and touched me like he wanted me just as bad. I couldn’t be that far off base.
Sliding out of bed, I picked up my clothes and padded to the door. It wasn’t closed all the way, and I noticed that the shower water was running. Why on earth was he showering at two in the morning? Well I take that back. He had just gotten back from the gym when I went running into him, so he probably didn’t have a chance to get cleaned up before he was picking me up off the floor. I walked out into the hallway and tossed the nurse costume that I hated so much through my open bedroom door. I made a mental note to throw that sucker away the first chance I had. Turning and looking at the bathroom door I took a few steps toward it, noticing that the door was cracked open. The shower that we shared wasn’t one that had a curtain hanging on a rod. This one had a glass door. Peeking in, the whole bathroom was fogged up. The glass that he stood behind was steamed over, but I was able to make out his figure on the other side. Swallowing hard, I felt like my heart was in my throat. What was I doing? Since when had I become a Peeping Tom? I knew I should go back into my room like I’d planned, but something was holding me here. I watched as his muscled arms came up and brushed several times through his hair, the white foam from the shampoo cascading down his body. I was riveted. Lust and desire were burning hot through my veins. I was drawn to him. An ache deep down was pushing me forward. Placing my hand on the door, I inched it open and took a step inside. My thoughts were going nuts, screaming at me to get the hell out of there, and pretend like I didn’t just walk in there like a little pervert. But I couldn’t. I needed something, and it was propelling me to keep moving. I watched in fascination as if every move of his body was the most incredible thing I’d seen. Seeing his hands move over his chest and down to his abdomen… lathering areas I wished I could run my tongue over. Just as the thought passed through my head, his eyes snapped up like he had sensed me. I braced myself, thinking he was going to yell at me or kick me out. Instead he tilted his head to the side. His large hand came up and wiped the glass so he could see me better. Connecting with his brown eyes, I was hit with the innermost need for him to touch me…to hold me. Whether he understood what I couldn’t say out loud or not, he opened the glass door, never breaking eye contact.
Then he stood in front of me, completely nude and looking like an Adonis. You never really know just how sexy a man can look until you’ve gotten them completely wet and dripping with water. Nothing on earth like it! At least not in Camden’s case. My heart’s rhythm stuttered, trying to find its new beat. Oh God, what was I doing? I felt the pooling of tears in my eyes, and Camden took notice of my sudden change.
Holding out his hand to me he said, “Come here.” It came out deep and raspy.
I stepped forward and placed my hand in his. Giving me a light tug, he moved me till I was standing in the shower facing him. The air was thick and humid making it hard to take a full breath. Or maybe I was just choking on my own words. He was blocking most of the water from spraying me, but little droplets were landing on my skin. I was only wearing his t-shirt and a pair of underwear, but the vapor in the air kept me warm. Or maybe being in his presence was overheating me. I had yet to let my eyes roam over the rest of his body that was on display. I’d already come barging in here, like some deviant teenage girl trying to see the goods. I didn’t think I should take advantage of the situation. As I stood in front of him I couldn’t gather the courage to look up at him. I didn’t know what this was, what I was feeling, how I should be feeling. Embarrassment was overshadowing all other emotions that had previously been coursing through me. Sucking in as much air as I could I was about to tell him ‘sorry’ and leave when he put his fingers under my chin and forced my eyes up to meet his.
“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?”
His words pierced my heart. My lip quivered. “Anything…everything.”
“Want to talk about it?” There he goes again with his sweet caring words. I didn’t know how to deal with this side of Camden. When he fought with me, warred with me, irritated me, I could handle him. I simply fought back. This was foreign.
All at once my emotions bubbled to the surface and came crashing out. Tears were pouring out of my eyes as my shoulders shook with heavy sobs. I covered my face with my hands and tried to turn away from him. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” I hiccupped.
“Hey, hey, what’s this?” he asked, his arms coming around me, holding me to his chest.
Confusion and hurt wracked my body like a tidal wave. It came slamming into me when I wasn’t prepared. Nothing felt right, and yet in his arms everything felt right. It was like my jumbled up mind was a contradiction in terms. How did I explain to him that I was sickened by what was done to me tonight? How did I express that I felt so degraded and used that I didn’t want to step foot outside of the house again? I was so ashamed for falling into that trap. That I slept with a guy who did nothing but use me. How did I tell him that I felt like maybe I deserved it? That maybe it was my penance. I shook even harder, and his arms squeezed me tighter. How did I tell Camden that I wanted him more than I’d ever wanted anything in my life? That when he fought with me, he didn’t just make me angry, he made me delirious with need. Even now, I craved to feel his skin on my skin. To know what it was like to have the slickness of the water glide my aching nipples across his chest. I wanted to feel his fingers brushing along my clit and bring me to the brink of orgasm. My tormented body couldn’t decide what it wanted to do, so I cried some more.