Behold the Dreamers(104)
“It’s hard as a parent not to think about your child all the time,” Neni said.
Sure, Vince said, but it was really strange how his dad had suddenly become a man who made his life revolve around family. It would even be funny if it wasn’t so sad. He appeared to hold nothing dearer than Mighty’s well-being, rescheduling meetings to attend Mighty’s hockey practices, turning down invitations to parties and dinners so he could stay home and play video games with Mighty, writing poems for Mighty while the boy slept.
“I called him the other day and he’s coming back from taking a cooking class,” Vince said with a laugh. “He wants to learn how to cook the meals my mom used to make for Mighty.”
“I’m so happy to hear this, for Mighty’s sake,” Neni said. “I’m sure you know more than me, but that child wanted nothing more than to spend time with his father.”
“Yeah, I’m glad for Mighty. But it’s pretty sad whenever I talk to my dad about his day … he seems to be learning quickly and holding it together well, but the Universe has thrown him this heavy curveball, and he’s struggling to carry it and walk on his path. And at his age, he still hasn’t figured out his path, which is what happens when you go off pursuing illusions.”
“For a man to raise a child alone, it’s not easy. Us women, it’s in our blood.”
“It’s definitely not in his blood, I’ll tell you that. But I’m proud of him, how he’s coping and doing his best.”
“You should tell him that, Vince. It will make him happy. What would make a parent happier than to hear their child say ‘I’m proud of you’?”
“I’ve told him how grateful I am that Mighty’s doing well, and it’s all thanks to him.”
Neni nodded but said nothing.
“It’s going to be a long road for him,” Vince continued, “but he seems to have learned the importance of balance and recognizing that—”
“But Mighty,” Neni said, “he must still be struggling to understand.”
“Yeah. The good days are good, and once in a while he has a bad day when he doesn’t want to do anything and poor Dad has no clue what to do. But overall, I’ll say he’s much happier than I thought he would be, and he gets to have something I never had. I was very worried for him when I left after the funeral.”
“You left right after the funeral?”
“No, I stayed for over a month, but when I came back here I thought about returning home a lot.”
“You? Returning? Don’t you hate America?”
Vince laughed. “I don’t love America,” he said, “but my family’s there, so I have to find a way to at least be able to stomach it.”
“I still don’t understand what is hard for you to stomach.”
“All the bullshit the masses are blind to … so much mindlessness. People sit on their couches and watch garbage interrupted by messages to buy garbage which will create a desire for more garbage. They go to their computers and order from incredibly horrible corporations that are enslaving their fellow humans and pretty much destroying any chance of children growing up in a world where they can be truly free. But hey, we have our material comforts and we’re saving money and corporations are creating sixty-hour-a-week jobs with sick leave so what does it matter if we’re complicit? Let’s just carry on with our lives while our country continues to commit atrocities all over the world.”
“You want to give me your American citizenship and take my Cameroonian citizenship?” Neni said, laughing.
Vince did not laugh. “Anyway,” he said, “now that Mighty and my dad are mostly okay I’m probably never coming back for good. Maybe I’ll visit once a year, I don’t know.”
“Once or twice a year will be good for all of you.”
“Maybe. I had a really hard time saying goodbye to them after the funeral.”
“I cannot even imagine,” Neni said. “I am so sorry about everything that happened, Vince. Truly sorry. I wanted to email to tell you that the news made me very sad, but … I couldn’t even—”
“Don’t worry about it. I know it wouldn’t have been an easy email to write.”
“No, it wasn’t only that. I know how much you and your mother used to be really tight—Mighty told me that one time the two of you went on a vacation without him.”
“It’s true,” Vince said with a laugh. “We went to Fiji the summer before I started college.”
“I have heard of Fiji. Was it nice?”
“We had a blast—snorkeling and scuba diving every day and feasting on some crazy delicious seafood at night; pretty much living right in the ocean.”
“That sounds like a very nice vacation.”
“It was awesome. I remember one morning, this guy on the beach tried to hit on my mom and I came over and pretended she was my girlfriend. It was hilarious.” He chuckled. “My mom used to be pretty cool.”
For a moment neither of them said anything.
“But what really happened between the two of you?” Neni asked.
Vince did not immediately respond. “She stayed the same and I became a different person,” he said. “I guess that’s the long and short of it.”