Before You (Before You #1)(51)
His jaw twitched. “So that’s it. After that whole speech about him not being what you needed, you’re getting back together with him. ”
“I didn’t say that,” she responded, shifting uncomfortably in her seat.
“Then, what are you saying?”
“Cam and I have known each other for over ten years, six or seven of which we dated. His friendship is important to me. I don’t want to lose it.”
“What does that have to do with spending the weekend together?”
“What are you suggesting I do? Destroy my lifelong relationship with Cam to have a weekend fling with you?”
Jax kept his eyes glued on the traffic, but he shook his head. “I didn’t say I was interested in a weekend fling. If I wanted to have a weekend fling, I would find something less complicated.”
“Oh, I get it. You want us to be together when I’m in town, but you can still hookup with other women on the side. That’s not the kind of relationship I’m looking for. I would never settle for that.”
“That’s not what I want, either.”
She laughed bitterly. “Please, Jax. Don’t play games with me. I’m not some random girl that doesn’t know your history. You aren’t a relationship type of guy, and if I had any doubts on that score, you explicitly confirmed that fact yourself last weekend before you left.”
Jax flinched. “I’m not half as bad as that, Bre. I’m not a saint, but I’m certainly not as bad as you think I am.”
“Don’t try to white wash your life. Cam tells me about your exploits all the time. I have no interest in being one of many in some man’s life who can’t even be bothered to remember my name.” Even as she said it, she cringed inwardly at the intentional slight.
“Cam has no idea what I do or don’t do. Besides, if you have such a poor opinion of me, why were you with me last weekend?” Jax replied, visibly irritated.
“I don’t know why I was with you… I’m sorry.”
“Sorry you were with me or sorry you have to lie to Cam about it?”
She turned to look at him for the first time, watching the sunlight catch in his hair making it look light brown, almost gold near his face. Jax wasn’t traditionally handsome like Cam, but he had masculine confidence and sexual magnetism that were a million times more lethal than Cam’s classically sculpted features. In comparison, Cam looked too pretty, almost boring. When he caught her gaze, the tension of conflicting urges streamed through her body—the desire to crawl into his lap and the desire to flee from the increasingly awkward conversation. Scolding herself for wanting to be near him, she reminded herself that Jax didn’t have any real interest in her. Jax was fickle, and at this moment, she interested him. That didn’t mean he would feel the same way tomorrow or in a week. She needed to dissuade him from his pursuit.
So she plastered a condescending smile on her face. “Sorry for both. Come on, Jax. I thought we agreed to let this go. We both know you aren’t interested in me like that or in having a relationship. You just like the idea being with me because it’s new and forbidden, but the feeling will fade, and then we couldn’t even be friends anymore, and I want to be friends.”
Jax stopped the car, and she absently noted that they were sitting in front of Cam’s apartment building. After a prolonged moment of silence, Jax looked at Bre with a harsh stare that unraveled every nerve in her body. And he said in low, gravelly voice, “If you say so, Bre. After all, I do like doing new and forbidden… things.”
Her face blushed scarlet. Her body melted in response to his voice as though it were a siren’s call for an illicit encounter. Without answering, she scrambled out of the car, astonished that her legs still functioned properly as she grabbed her luggage from Jax’s hand and walked to the entrance of the building.
As she opened the door to the building, Jax called out, “Cam left the key to his apartment under the front doormat. I’ll see you on Saturday night.”
It wasn’t until she was sitting in Cam’s apartment that she realized that she forgot her purse in Jax’s car. The normal response would have been to call or text Jax immediately and ask him to drop it off, but the idea of having any contact with Jax was too unsettling.
So she sent Cam a text asking him to pick it up before he came back to his apartment, but all afternoon she kept stealing peeks at her phone, hoping that Jax texted or called her. She knew without question that she would not answer Jax’s call or respond to his text, so why she watched her phone as if she were waiting for an answer on a matter of life or death was incomprehensible.
Finally, unable to stand the suspense for one more moment, she called Sara.
“I think I’m developing some sort of neurotic disorder,” Bre blurted out before she could stop herself.
“Hello to you, too. I hope it’s not contagious.”
“No. God, Sara. I don’t know where to start,” Bre said, twisting a piece of hair around her finger.
“Are you in LA now?”
“Yes. I arrived a couple of hours ago. Jax picked me up at the airport, and now I’m waiting for Cam to come home.” Bre sat down on the sofa, tossing Cam’s discarded clothing on the floor.
“Ah, so the usual, huh. What’s his story tonight?
“What do you mean?”