Before She Ignites (Fallen Isles Trilogy #1)(63)

::The Book of Silence says unwarranted blame is an affront to Idris’s ears. We must take care not to place it at the wrong person’s feet.::

I pressed my mouth into a line. ::The Book of Love says something similar.::

::We are not so different.:: Pain racked his features as he shifted onto his side, but when I offered to help, he shook his head. So I stayed put, my knees digging into the floor, and watched the way he moved. In our darkened little space beneath our beds, I’d never gotten a sense of his size, but now I couldn’t help but notice how much of him there was. Long and lanky, yes, but corded with lean muscle from years of hard work.

“We aren’t the same, Aaru.”

He lifted an eyebrow in question.

“Where do I begin? Our upbringings, stations, and families—those are just a few examples of things that separate us.”

::But not the thing you want to discuss.::

I added his perceptiveness to the list.

::Will answer your question.::

Now I was embarrassed to ask, but he’d offered. “You did something incredible,” I said. “Do you remember? At the end, you made the noorestones stop glowing and smothered all the sound.”

::I didn’t know I could.:: His teeth flashed bright white where he bit his lower lip. ::Idris grants powerful gifts to the worthy, but I am not. I am of the least of his people, not like the Silent Brothers.::

Damyan and Darina gave charm to their people, but there were spectrums of power. Elected officials, theater actors, and people in the public eye had all the charm in the world, while others (like me) made do with the barest scrapes.

::The gift is silence,:: he went on. ::Noorestones make a sound that most cannot hear, but it illuminates the stones. I silenced it.::

“And everything else.”

He nodded.

Most gifts were muted away from our home islands, which meant Aaru was powerful. If he could silence noorestones here, what could he do on Idris? “What about in our cellblock?”

::Not me. Another. Better and stronger. More precise. They silence light without silencing sound.::

And for Aaru, it was all or nothing, but perhaps with more practice, he could be more precise as well. “It’s amazing,” I whispered. I’d always believed the Idrisi divine gift was passive—the ability to move silently or be silent. But making other things silent? That was incredible. Dangerous.

::Please tell no one.::

“I won’t tell anyone. I promise.”

He rolled onto his back again, mouth dropped open with a soundless groan.

“Aaru . . .” My knees ached as I stood to help him, but I was too slow. He’d finished rearranging himself and was panting with the effort. “I’m sorry.” I sat on the bed next to him, not quite touching his hip, and hung my head. “I’m so sorry he did this to you, and for my part in it. I should have known better.”

His fingers breezed against a lock of my hair, loose from its twist. The barest heat from his skin touched my cheek.

At once, his face darkened and he withdrew.

I wished he’d do it again, but I wasn’t about to suggest it. Not when I was the cause for his pain. He shouldn’t feel like he had to comfort me.

::Why does Altan hate you?:: Aaru asked. ::Why did he hurt you before? And now me?::

Of all people, Aaru deserved answers. But what could I say without giving away my identity? “I have information.” My voice trembled. “I know things I shouldn’t. That’s why I was sent here.”

::And he wants to know what you know.:: Aaru nodded to himself. ::He won’t stop.::

“Not until he’s satisfied I’ve given him everything.”

::What will you do?::

“What would you do?”

His gaze was steady, not judging, but appraising, and I couldn’t help but wonder what he saw. A scared girl from Damina? Someone who’d never known true fear or hunger until now? Maybe a thoughtless person who caused others pain?

::I would ask Idris for guidance.:: He turned his face to cover a yawn. ::Sorry. Tired.::

“Then go to sleep.” I studied him a moment longer: the sharp lines and full lips and heavy brow. He had a kind face, and eyes filled with deep thoughts and emotion; I wished I could read them.

::Will you do something for me?::

“Of course.” A flurry of impossible requests came to mind as soon as the words were out. He might ask me to get him out of the Pit right now, or give Altan the rest of my information, or even fly. I could do none of those things.

But this was Aaru. He said, ::Tell me about your life before this.:: He lifted his hands toward me like an offering, melting away all lingering doubts about his forgiveness.

He still wanted whatever it was that we’d been growing this last month. Our alliance, or . . . maybe friendship? Our injuries set back our plan at least a decan—neither Aaru nor I could work while we were recovering—but we’d begin again as soon as we were released from the infirmary. We’d keep feeding Gerel and Chenda and all the others (I tried not to think of Hurrok), and we’d find a way out of here. Together.

Heart pounding, I let my fingertips play across the backs of his hands, finding the ridges of bones and tendons and knuckles. His breath caught; he closed his eyes; my name fell soundless from his lips.

This was forward, at least on Idris. On Damina, this might be just the beginning, but Idris was so reserved in the giving and receiving of physical affection.