Before She Ignites (Fallen Isles Trilogy #1)(58)

Anxiety rushed in without warning. It came like thunder as my heart raced louder in my ears. It came like the sea over my head as my lungs struggled to expand. It came like a swarm of gnats crawling over my skin, itching, burning, complete in their distraction.

This was a nightmare. Aaru was only ten paces away, fire running through his body, and Altan expected me to reproduce information I hadn’t seen in four decans.

“I assume it’s related to the dragons.” Altan drummed his fingers on the table. “Since you care about it so much.”

“It’s nothing. I promise, it’s nothing you’re interested in.”

Altan glanced at Aaru appraisingly and lifted his voice. “He’s taking this quite well. I wonder if these noorestones have already been depleted. Rosa?”

“They’re the proper age and size.” She glanced at one of the trainees. “Find another.”

The girl bowed and left the room.

A third noorestone? How could anyone bear such heat?

After I’d told Altan about the dragons, I’d declared I’d never tell him about the rest—not even to save my own life. But what about Aaru’s life? I couldn’t let him die, not if I could save him.

My trembling fingers crept toward the pencil. I could hardly take the wooden barrel, but somehow I fit my hand around it and brought the charcoal tip to paper.

But then.

My fingers jerked.

A slash of charcoal marred the page before the tip snapped off and black dust scattered everywhere.

“Gods!” Altan pounded a fist on the table, making everything jump. The broken pencil rolled off, and he strode around to retrieve it.

From the death chair, Aaru stared at me, a delirious sheen in his gaze. Sweat drenched his clothes, and his whole body shuddered against the fever.

I glanced at his hands, at his feet—everywhere—looking for the quiet code, but even if he wanted to communicate with me now, he was too weak.

::I’m sorry,:: I tapped on the table: ::Forgive me.::

Aaru groaned in agony.

The sound tore through me. One second. Two. Three. Four. On and on and on. He breathed at thirty-three seconds, just a faint gasp before letting the sound rip from him again. Never before had I heard such torment in a single voice.

“Please,” I begged. My voice sounded hollow. “I can’t think while he’s in pain.”

Altan took a small knife and carved a new point for the pencil. “If you want this to end, you know what to do.”

At that moment, the trainee returned with a third noorestone. Rosa gave it a quick inspection, then nodded. The crystal tumbled into the basin under Aaru’s right foot with a racket. The strange sludge was poured over it.

Aaru’s head rolled back. The whites of his eyes were bright against his sweat-drenched skin. And then, he began to sob—huge, racking gulps that filled the room. “Stop,” he gasped. “Make it stop.”

I couldn’t let him suffer. I had to end this.

I had to steady my breathing. One long breath. Two. Three. When my hand no longer trembled, I pressed the pencil point to the paper.

Noorestones, I wrote.

Then, a long, low howl fell from Aaru’s throat. The sweat had dried and his skin was flushed dark with burning. When one of the trainees prodded at the noorestones in the basins, the howl became a scream.

More than anything, I wished I were the kind of person who knew how to fight. Who could leap over the table and rip the bindings from him. I wished I could escape this awful place, Aaru and Gerel and Tirta with me.

I wished I were someone in possession of any measure of courage.

On the shipping order. My writing was jagged, almost impossible to read, but under the bombardment of Aaru’s screams, I kept going. Trading with our enemies.

Soft pounding sounded from the far side of the room. Aaru’s fists struck the chair arms with a familiar pattern: ::Strength through silence.::

He repeated the phrase. Two times. Three times. Four.

Altan breathed over my shoulder, reading my note. “Why?”

“I don’t know.” My words were a sob. “I don’t know. Please let him go.”

“I wish I could believe you.”

::Strength through silence.::

“I’m not part of the Luminary Council.” I could barely think around the buzzing anxiety in my head. “They don’t tell me why they do things.”

::Strength through silence.::

Altan studied me for a long moment, then shook his head. “No, you know why they’re shipping these, too.”

::Strength through silence.::

“I told you what I know.” But he could see my lie. Hear it.

::Strength through silence.::

“The longer you resist me, the longer he stays like that.”

Aaru strained against the bindings. His eyes were squeezed shut, like he couldn’t bear to acknowledge anything because the fire was too intense.

“Let him go!” Without thinking, I grabbed the pencil, twisted, and jabbed at Altan’s face. He was fast; he dodged without a problem, and my momentum carried me to the floor behind him. I crumpled against the wall.

Prison guards stormed toward me, and Altan drew back his hand to slap my face.

But then.

Aaru’s screams stopped. A sharp keening sliced through the room for a half second before three things happened at once: