Before She Ignites (Fallen Isles Trilogy #1)(32)

My mind boiled over with visions of Gerel fighting for her life, Aaru being slaughtered, and Tirta being led from her bath to her death. And what about the others? I could almost hear Hurrok’s howling, crying, begging for mercy. . . .

A slam echoed down the hall. I jumped, spilling my food across the floor.

Just as I bent to gather everything, the noorestones went out.

Darkness.

Complete darkness.

And silence.

No whimpering. No screaming. No tapping from the next cell over.

The panic rushed in, overwhelming; I waited and waited, counting seconds and minutes and hours.

The lights did not come on again.





PART TWO


AFFINITY FOR DRAGONS





CHAPTER TEN




THE DARKNESS WENT ON AND ON.

Long after the first wave of panic passed and a constant, low-grade terror settled in, the darkness persisted. It became a force, a pressure that squeezed me in on myself, until I awakened huddled under the bed, praying for the light to return.

But even the hole between my cell and Aaru’s became a threat in the dark. I could feel the emptiness of his space leaking through to mine, swallowing my existence.

Soon, I would not be real.

MY FOOD WENT quickly.

I gathered everything as soon as I regained my sense of self. Before-the-Pit Mira wouldn’t have thought to do that. She’d have stayed perfectly still, wondering if the noorestones were broken, assuming the lights would return. But In-the-Pit Mira knew better.

The Pit had made me hungry. Sharp. Aware of how quickly a vague sense of wanting to eat could turn into hollowed-out agony.

My food had scattered everywhere, so each expedition into the cell was slow and careful, because if I crushed anything, I might render it inedible. And I needed every bite. I would never again waste food, as I’d done my first day.

Using the bed as an anchor, I reached out, patted the floor, and found an apple. I stuffed it into my bag. Then I repeated the process, shuffling forward until I’d checked as far as the opposite wall. I retreated to the bed to begin again.

In the end, I had four apples, two small loaves of bread, a big wedge of cheese, seven pieces of dried meat, and a single container of water.

This was more food than usually came in the bag. And that meant . . . What? How long was I supposed to make it last?

I took my bag and hid under my bed, as if the darkness couldn’t reach me there.

OUTSIDE, ON THE surface, the moons and stars kept the true darkness at bay. Even on the rare nights both moons were new, stars still littered the black sky with silver and gold. On those nights, the faint pink shapes of faraway darkdust glowed a little brighter.

Underground, the moons and stars blocked from view by layers and layers of earth, there was no ambient light. The noorestones were out, and the darkness was complete.

Five things I learned about the dark:

1. There was something physical about complete blackness, like the absence of light granted extra substance to the air around me.

2. The inability to see made even a formerly known room suddenly unknown. It challenged the dimensions of the space, obscured everything, so that even without moving, I was lost.

3. Without the light to show me where my body ended and the rest of the world began, sometimes I felt as though I’d expanded to take up the entire cell. Other times, I felt as though the darkness shrank me and I became smaller and smaller, ready to collapse in on myself. Most of the time, it seemed as though there might not be a firm boundary between where I ended and the darkness began; we’d melted together.

4. Darkness had a sinister way about it. Any noise, even my own breath, became a threat. Every time I faded into sleep, I lurched awake once more, startled by the sensation of the darkness devouring me.

5. I hated it.

I spent as much time as possible cataloging my thoughts on darkness, organizing them in my mind to hold the terror at bay. But as time crept by—at a pace I couldn’t discern without light—the pages of my mental lists began to scatter apart. Thirst and hunger made it hard to think.

I tried to be frugal, nibbling here and there, taking tiny sips of water only when thirst threatened to overtake me.

Now, I reached inside my bag and found only a sliver of cheese and one apple core. I ate the cheese. I sucked the remaining fruit off the core.

And that was it. The food was gone. The water was gone.

My mind scrambled for lists and numbers, but a fog drifted through my thoughts, preventing movement. Connection.

I tried to sleep, and I must have lost consciousness for a while, because when I awakened, my body screamed with thirst. I could feel my skin cracking and crumbling. I could feel my tongue scraping the back of my throat. I could feel my eyelids fall like sand over my eyes.

In the unwavering silence, I heard the drops of water falling from Aaru’s ceiling and landing with a faint plop into his cup. Eventually the sound of the water drops changed, deepening as the cup grew fuller, and then the hiss of a small splash followed.

The cup was full. Overflowing. I shoved my hand through the hole like I’d really be able to grab the water. I shoved my arm, even my shoulder, as far through the hole as I could reach, but my own body blocked me. If my arms were longer. If I were tiny. If I were able to change into smoke and float through the hole and dive into the water . . .

A hysterical giggle fell out of me. If I could change into smoke, I’d be able to escape the Pit, guards none the wiser.