Because (Seven Year Itch #4)(49)

“This again?” I shake my head. “I’m not hiding anything, and if I said things that hurt you it’s probably because you’ve taken them out of context like you’re famous for doing.”

“It’s just like you to blame me for everything. You know what, it doesn’t matter anymore. I know you’re lying to me, to yourself even. How can we be friends if you can’t be honest with me? Why should I have to be the only one willing to change?”

“Shayla, I swear I have no damn idea what the hell you’re talking about. Spit the shit out.”

She begins to cry harder. I’m at a loss for words. I bring my hand over and place it over hers. She’s sniffling as she speaks. “I want us to be friends. We can’t have secrets. We can’t treat each other like dirt. We have to be on the same page. We’re a team.”

“Okay. I’m with you.”

“No.” She shakes her head. “I know you’ve been talking to someone online, Bran.”

“Huh? No I’m not.”

“Don’t lie!”

I throw my hands up. “I’m not! Swear!”

“I know you’re on a dating site. My friend saw it.”

I finally get it. “Oh that. Look, Toby thought it was a good idea. He set that up, not me. I haven’t done a damn thing with it though.”

“You’re still lying.”

“No, seriously, I’m not. I told them I was still hung up on you; on our marriage. Shayla, do you honestly think I’m that blatantly stupid? If I wanted to get laid I’d pick someone up in person, not that I’m trying to. I haven’t made contact with anyone.”

She hands me her phone. It’s on some girl’s profile and it clearly says we’ve made contact with one another.

I point to it. “I didn’t talk to her. Not even once.”

“Who did then, Bran? The things you said were spot on.”

“That’s not even my phone number. I have no idea who that is. Have you tried to call it?”

“No.”

“How can you be mad at me when you haven’t tried to call the number?”

I pull out my phone and show her that I don’t even have the app before dialing the number. It rings three times and goes straight to a prerecorded voicemail with the operator saying the caller isn’t available. “I’m telling you, this isn’t me. I’ll prove it.” I call Toby with it on speaker.

“What’s up, dude. You ready for tonight.”

“Yeah, man, listen, I need to know if you’ve been on that dating site as me?”

“What website?”

I’m gritting my teeth. This is not the time for him to dick around. “Just tell me. Have you pretended to be me and talked to someone?”

“No. If you haven’t noticed I’ve been busy, man. What’s up? Why do you care?”

“Never mind. I’ll talk to you later.”

I hang up with Toby and lean my head on the steering wheel. “Shay, I swear it wasn’t me.”

She wipes her face with her hands and finally looks over at me. “Are you interested in dating?”

“Not unless it’s with you.”

“I want to believe you, Bran. I wish you knew how much.”

“What then?”

“I still can’t trust you. I’m sorry. I know it’s not what you want to hear. Maybe going to the wedding is a bad idea.”

“No. Please. I already told Ab. She’ll be devastated if you don’t come.”

She’s rolling her eyes. “Great. Throw me under the bus.”

“I’m not. Come to the wedding with us. Please. I’ll find a way to prove I’m not talking to anyone else.”

“How? Are you going to bribe one of your friends to take the blame?”

“Nope. I’m going to find the f*cker who’s doing it and kick their ass.”

“Can you just take me home? I shouldn’t have agreed to come with you. I’ve been upset for several days and being this close to you only makes it worse.”

“I’m sorry.”

I reach over to take her hand, but she pulls away. “Why is it so hard to admit it’s over between us?”

The pain in her eyes only makes it worse to handle. “Because it’s never going to be over.”

She’s frustrated. The only way I’ve ever been able to emotionally reach her is with sex and that can’t happen anymore. I’m at a loss for words. I don’t know how to act or what to say next.

“I will never love anyone the way I love you. Look at me. I’m telling you the truth. I’m not a magician. I can’t turn off my feelings. I took you for granted. I wasn’t there for you. If you don’t love me anymore I get it, but don’t ever ask me to give up on you. It’s not going to happen.”

She lifts her phone up again. “I don’t know if I have a right to be jealous. It just shocked me. Even if you did talk to someone else, it’s not fair for me to judge you. I made it clear we were over.”

She’s killing me. Every time she opens her mouth my heart breaks. “I’m not ready to say goodbye. Even if you know for sure you’re done with me, I won’t give up. I don’t know how to do it, but I refuse to let you go. If being your friend is all I can be I’ll take it for now. Don’t give up on me, Shay.”