Baking and Babies (Chocoholics #3)(20)

He finally turns away from the window and thankfully sets the Thug Mug down on the table next to the couch.

“Drew, Carter, how about we take Marco—”

“POLO!” Drew quickly screams happily.

Molly’s dad purses his lips in annoyance at the interruption, letting out a sigh before continuing.

“How about we take Marco-I-Swear-To-Fuck-If-You-Say-Polo-One-More-Fucking-Time-I-Will-Shove-My-Foot-Up-Your-Ass, for a little drive?” he asks, glaring at Drew as he turns my name into one long curse word.

“Jim, everything’s fine, honey,” Molly’s mom tells him. “There’s no need to do anything stupid.”

Jim smiles at her. “We’re not going to do anything stupid. Are we, boys?”

Drew and Carter walk up to either side of him and all three of them smile at me. Three evil smiles that don’t quite reach their eyes and obviously scream, “We’re going to f*ck this Marco Polo * up until his face looks like raw hamburger meat and he no longer has the use of his legs.”

What the hell am I doing? Is some hot chick I’ve fantasized about really worth all of this? I can’t believe I actually thought MY family was crazy. They look like the damn Brady Bunch compared to these people.

I look away from the evil triplets long enough to glance at Molly. Her smile is so big it takes my breath away and that’s all it takes for me to realize she’s worth it. No woman has ever made me want to jump through hoops just to get her to smile. I’ve never felt so tied up in knots around anyone like I feel whenever Molly looks at me. Call it a gut feeling, call it plain old stupidity, but whatever it is, I’m not about to give up now. I knew the moment she told me she wasn’t really pregnant and I thought my heart would burst out of my chest that I would do whatever it takes to see where this thing goes. I want to know everything about her, even if it means dealing with her insane family. What’s a little blood in my urine and drinking my food through a straw as long as she’s there to give me sponge baths?

“Keys?” Drew asks, holding his hands out.

I tell myself everything will work out in the end as I pull the keys to my baby out of my front pocket and toss them across the room to Drew. As soon as he catches them, he runs towards me, ramming into my shoulder as he races through the doorway of the living room and down the hall behind us.

“SHOTGUN, BITCHES!” he shouts right as the front door slams closed behind him.

“Carter, don’t you dare let him shoot any guns while he’s driving!” Jenny warns.

Carter walks over to her and pats her on the head like a puppy without saying anything. He then makes his way to Claire, giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“Don’t wait up, honey,” he tells her with a smile as she runs her palms down the front of his chest.

“Please try not to get any blood on this shirt. Blood stains are such a bitch to get out,” she informs him with a sigh.

Everyone seems to think this is funny and they all laugh. I don’t find this funny at all. It’s so NOT funny that I think a little pee might have come out of me.

Carter casually sticks his hands in his pockets and whistles jovially as he too rams his shoulder into mine when he walks through the doorway and down the hall to the front door.

Molly pulls away from her mother and rushes in front of me when her father starts to make his way in this direction, and there’s no sense in denying it, I’m pretty positive I’m going to pee my pants.

“Daddy, don’t hurt him,” she warns, blocking him from me and throwing both her hands up in the air to stop him from coming any closer.

“I’m not going to hurt him, Molls,” he promises softly with a smile that’s faker than the baby I didn’t knock Molly up with. “Marco Polo here has nothing to worry about, aside from the fact that the man who currently has the keys to his brand new Mustang felt the need to call shotgun just to make sure he sat in the front seat.”

I forget all about my own well-being and hope my car insurance policy covers three lunatics who purposefully slam a vehicle into every tree they encounter before shoving it over a cliff.

Jim kisses the top of Molly’s head, lingering there for a few seconds before telling her softly that he loves her no matter what. Charlotte starts sobbing loudly from across the room, breaking up the heartfelt moment with huge sniffles and gasping breaths.

When Jim pulls away from Molly and looks over at Charlotte with a raised eyebrow at her outburst, she quickly puts a big smile on her face and waves away his concerned look.

“It’s fine, I’m fine, no big deal,” she says with a hiccup and a smile. “I’m just so happy you still love Molly, even if she screwed up and made a huge mistake that will probably ruin her life, because she’s going to really need you to love her when she gets fat and ugly and no one else will love her anymore!”

She starts crying louder this time and Gavin rushes across the room to console her. Molly doesn’t have any reason to worry about our ability to pull this off since it looks like it will only be a matter of time before Charlotte completely cracks and ruins her own stupid plan.

While Molly and her mother are busy watching Charlotte lose her shit, Jim takes that opportunity to sneak around Molly and her attempt to protect me from bodily harm. He slings his arm around my shoulders casually and leads me quietly away from the women and Gavin.