Bad Romeo Christmas: A Starcrossed Anthology (Starcrossed #4)(9)

If she hadn't slept with Matt, would she and Ethan still be together? Would he be planning his wedding to her right now, instead of me?

A waitress comes over and pours our water. "Would you like to start with something to drink?"

Ethan opens his mouth to order wine for both of us as he usually does, but I cut him off. "Vodka and tonic, please. A double would be great."

It turns out to be the first of many.

???

The Apartment of Cassandra Taylor

New York City, New York



The next morning, I wake up to an empty bed. I squeeze the heel of my hand into my eye socket as a sharp pain fires behind my eyes. "Oh, ow."

Dumb vodka. Dumb me for drinking it. Dumb Ethan for letting me.

He'd asked me several times if I was okay during dinner, and each time I'd waved off his concerns. He knew I was lying, but he let me wallow. Pressing me to talk when I'm battling dark thoughts makes me a tad aggressive. He's been there, done that, and knows very well that sometimes when logic fails, alcohol triumphs.

Of course, he also knows that alcohol usually makes me horny, so his motives weren't all selfless. He'd given his stamp of approval when I'd slid my bare foot up his leg beneath the table and into his lap. After that, he'd had trouble speaking. Who knew my foot was so skillful?

I continued to tease him for the rest of the night. Did I really return from the bathroom and tell him I'd removed my panties? Yep. Did I swirl my tongue around my spoon in the most provocative way possible as I'd eaten dessert? Yep. Did I take his hand and kiss his knuckles, before coyly sliding his index finger into my mouth as we waited for our check? Yes, I did. All of the above, plus more.

I wanted to remind him of how good I could make him feel. That I was the one he wanted. Not her.

That's why I was thrilled when he practically dragged me home in record time. I wasn't surprised when he threw me over the back of the couch as soon as we'd gotten through the door and proceeded to rip off just enough clothing in order to f*ck me roughly from behind. With his newfound sensitivity, doggy-style isn't a position he initiates because he prefers to be able to look into my eyes, but when I push him hard enough, he'll release his inner caveman and go there. And God, that side of him is intoxicating. Especially when I'm feeling unworthy and in need of punishment.

I'd tried to push Vanessa out of my thoughts while Ethan was inside me, but every time he grunted and growled as he thrust, all I could think of was Bear.

I sit up and rub my eyes again. There's a definite soreness between my legs this morning, but at least it distracts me from my hangover; both from the alcohol, and from bitchface Vanessa.

I cock my head and listen. I can hear Ethan's voice somewhere in my apartment. Ordinarily I'd think he was talking to Tristan, but it's Saturday, and Tris is already at the yoga studio, aligning people's downward dogs and beating inner peace into them, whether they like it or not.

I pull on one of Ethan's old T-shirts I use as a nightie and crack open the door. His voice is coming from the kitchen. I sneak down the hallway and see him sitting on a stool at the breakfast bar, naked except for the towel wrapped around his waist. By the look of his hair and the delicious smell emanating from him, I assume he's already showered. His back muscles flex as he leans on the counter, his phone up to his ear

"I just didn't think I'd feel like this," he says quietly. "I mean, after everything we went through in high school, for God's sake. All the anger and bitterness I carried around for goddamn years. I didn't think it was possible, you know?" He listens for a few moments then chuckles. "Yeah, well, you always seemed to know me better than I knew myself. Still, you could at least pretend to be surprised. I have a life-changing epiphany, and you're all, 'yeah, I figured that would happen.' It's not good for my ego."

Goosebumps crawl up my spine the same time a bout of nausea hits me. I'm dreaming right now. I have to be. This can't be happening. He said he might call Vanessa, but I didn't expect it to happen so soon.

He rubs the back of his neck. "Yeah, Cassie's still sleeping. I haven't said anything to her yet. I wanted to speak to you first." He pauses. "I don't know how I'm going to explain it. I guess I'll just be honest. After everything I've put her through, I owe her that." He picks an apple out of the fruit bowl and rolls it in his hand. "Yeah, I think it's a good thing, too. Can I see you this week?" He chuckles again. "So you suggest we meet then tell me you're too popular to see me? Fine. Sort out your schedule and text me when you're free. I've missed you." He signs off then takes a bite out of the apple.

He's missed her? Missed her?!

I struggle for a few seconds with the urge to confront him, but if I don't want my head to explode in jealousy, I'm going to need to be way less hungover when we discuss this.

Accepting my own cowardice, I creep back down the hallway and crawl back into bed. As if my head wasn't pounding enough this morning, now this. He's missed her, so he's going to see her.

Of course he is.

I never truly thought about what would happen if he saw Vanessa again, but I guess now I know. He's going to see her and realize he's still in love with her, and then, boom. That'll be it for us. Engagement, off. Wedding, canceled. It'll be time for me to buy a whole bunch of cats and be forever alone.