Away From the Dark (The Light #2)(43)

What if Brother Benjamin confessed to the Commission?

I bit my lip and continued to pace.

We’d gotten into the community without anyone’s seeing that I was in Jacob’s truck. Riding in his truck wasn’t forbidden. I did it from time to time. It was leaving the community that was forbidden. No one could know I’d been out to the pole barn, much less into the dark.

To corroborate our story, as soon as we entered the community, I stayed hidden inside the truck while Jacob drove as close as he could to our apartment, went in, and returned to the truck. As we drove to the parking area, I came out of my hiding place in the backseat. Then together we walked to the coffee shop.

Since the story was that I was upset with him about leaving the reminder on my cheek, taking me into public was his punishment for my missing work yesterday. The thing that I continued to mull over was that he hadn’t explained any of this to me—any of the reasoning. Nevertheless, I understood it.

No matter how I fought it, I was conditioned. Sitting at a table at the coffee shop with my eyes down, I obediently waited for him to return with our drinks. Of course he didn’t ask what I wanted, and I wouldn’t have refused whatever he’d ordered; however, when I peered into the cup and found tea instead of coffee, I smiled. Though he briefly returned the smile and whispered, “It’s decaffeinated,” his gaze immediately narrowed, reminding me that I was supposed to be upset with him.

Jacob was right about my blackened eye. No one seemed to notice it. If I allowed myself to think like Stella, the unspoken acceptance of my husband’s correction was more evidence of the perverse nature of The Light. I hoped that the unique position of having both perspectives would be an advantage as we continued the best performances of our f*cking lives.

A knock on the apartment door startled me as it brought me back to the present. I took a deep breath and steadied myself to open the door. I’d known Raquel would be coming ever since Jacob told me he’d given Brother Benjamin permission for her visit. I reached for the doorknob as I prepared to see the best friend I’d had while in The Light.

In the coffee shop I’d needed only to look the part, now it was time for speaking. There was more riding on this performance than before I’d left the Northern Light. Now my success wasn’t just for me, but also for Jacob and his mission. It was for everyone.

I opened the door to Raquel’s questioning blue eyes.

“Come in,” I said, “Jacob told me you’d be coming.”

She shook her head and waited for me to close the door. Once I did she wrapped me in an embrace, her slender arms squeezing with all her might. “Oh, praise Father Gabriel. I was so worried about you.” Backing away, she playfully hit my shoulder. “I should be mad at you . . .” Her words trailed away as she noticed my eye.

I wasn’t sure how she hadn’t seen it first thing, but then again, she’d been too busy hugging me. I reached for the puffiness and a tear fell. “I know. I’m sorry I worried you.”

Raquel wrapped her arm around my shoulders and led me to the sofa. “Sara, it’s all right. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have responded like that. It just surprises me.” As we sat she asked, “Have you thanked Father Gabriel and God for your husband?”

I nodded as more tears flowed. I didn’t know where they were coming from, exhaustion probably. I’d slept a little on the plane, but the flight was much faster in Jacob’s plane than it was in Thomas’s. We had been in the air for under an hour.

Raquel hugged me again. “Benjamin and I were so worried when you didn’t go to work.”

“I’m sorry. I was selfish.” I lowered my chin. “I honestly didn’t think about anyone but myself. I was embarrassed. I mean, it’s the first time I ever remember this”—I tilted my head to the left—“happening, and I didn’t want anyone to see it.”

“We’re sisters. We understand. It happens. No one will think less of either you or Brother Jacob.” Raquel smiled her biggest, shiniest smile.

Gratitude for all she’d done for me from the beginning of my journey in The Light came bubbling out. “Thank you, for always being so great. I’m so glad we’re friends, and sisters,” I added.

“I had so many thoughts running through my head. I was afraid you were . . . were taken, that you were lost in the dark.”

“Taken? Why would you think I’d been taken? By whom?”

“This is going to sound crazy, but by that pilot guy, Thomas. I don’t like that he comes here into the community. I told Benjamin that I was afraid that’s what had happened, and he said he’d bring up that Thomas comes into the community to the Assembly. I mean, it just isn’t right.”

If she only knew! “He does give me the creeps. I’m sorry I worried you. Jacob said you went looking for me.”

Raquel nodded. “When I couldn’t find you here, Benjamin drove me to the pole barn. Brother Micah was there. He’s the one who said Thomas had recently left. I guess Brother Micah arrived just after Thomas took off. I was the one who jumped to conclusions.” She squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry. I should have known you’d never willingly go back to the dark, not after the last time.”

“I don’t remember doing it then either.”

“Sometimes,” she said, seeming to weigh her words, “when people stop taking their birth control medicine, it does something to their chemical balance and they remember things. Have you had any memories?”