Autumn Storm (The Witchling #2)(19)

“You’re such a loser. Master of Light? You’re worthless, Beck!” She strode away.

Beck didn’t wait for her to make it inside. He dropped into his car and slammed the door closed, locking it. He couldn’t handle another surprise this night. His jaw was clenched tight enough that the muscles on both sides were twitching.

What he hated most was that Dawn was right about him. He was a horrible Master of Light. He’d make a terrible father. He sat for a long moment, until the chill of the night made him shiver. Pulling himself out of his mind, he started the car and drove it down the gravel road to the paved road leading towards his parent’s cabin.

He pulled into their driveway, noticing that there was light on in the family room. It made the pine trees outside the window glow. Someone was up. He hoped it was his mom. Beck waited for the garage door to open then pulled in. He trotted up the stairs leading from the garage to the kitchen.

The cabin was warm and smelled of cinnamon. He walked down the hallway on the ground floor into the family room. His step slowed.

His mother was there, but she wasn’t going to be in any shape to advise him. A beer glass filled with what looked like his father’s expensive scotch was on the table beside the couch. It was half empty. Next to it was an orange prescription bottle. His mother was on the couch, asleep. The former Mistress of Dark, she wasn’t the kind of person one could creep up on. If she didn’t sense him, she was beyond out.

Beck picked up the bottle, not surprised to see it was for sleeping pills. He knew why she was hurting: Beck’s life was a mess and Decker was going crazy. He brushed his mother’s face with his fingertips. Her shadows inched away from the Master of Light. Earth magick confirmed what he thought.

“You okay, son?”

Beck glanced towards the recliner. His father was sitting with an electronic reader, wearing jeans and a t-shirt. He removed his glasses.

“Not really,” Beck replied. He sat down in front of the blazing fire in the stone hearth, the source of the light he’d seen. He met his father’s gaze, thoughtful. “Dawn told me it’s a girl.”

His father lowered the e-reader and turned on the light beside his chair. Beck sprawled out on his back, staring at the log ceiling.

“Am I being irresponsible?” he asked.

“That’s a hard question to answer, Beck,” his father said. “Do I think you should be involved in your daughter’s life? Yes. Do I think you should consent to a shotgun wedding for the sake of a child? Not necessarily. If the environment you’d create is unhealthy, no.”

“I keep praying the kid’s not mine. Then I feel awful, because she’s someone’s daughter, stuck with a mother like that,” Beck said. “I think with me as a father …” He couldn’t say the words.

“She’d have a chance?”

“Yeah.”

“You’re right. You’ll make a great father.”

“How can you believe that?” Beck asked. “Look at this mess! I never thought twice about sleeping with her. How can I be a good father, let alone protect the Light witchlings when I’m so stupid? It’s insane!”

His father smiled. “You’re aware of your weakness. You’re working on it. That’s most of the battle, son.”

Michael Turner always had the answers. Beck sighed in exasperation. He wished he was half as calm or confident as his father.

“You’ll make a strong Master of Light. It takes time, though.”

“I don’t have time,” Beck said, thinking about Decker and Autumn. He turned his head to see his mother. “I can’t protect my own family. How can I add a kid to the mix?”

“One day at a time. First, we need to confirm the kid is yours. If so, she and her mother will never want for anything.”

“I know. I’m not worried about the financial stuff. I feel so guilty leaving Dawn on her own, but I want a relationship like yours and mom’s. Do Light Master’s have a mate like Dark Masters?”

“Not sure. Sam probably knows. Either way, you shouldn’t marry someone you have doubts about.”

“There’s no doubt,” Beck said. “I don’t want to marry her. If I listened to Decker or stopped to think before sleeping with her…” He shook his head. “I won’t do that again.”

“Thank goodness.” His father was amused.

Beck’s face grew warm. He didn’t know how his father took everything so calmly.

“Why is mom sleeping on the couch?” he asked suddenly.

“Interesting question. I noticed you didn’t ask why she’s washing down drugs with alcohol.” There was quiet concern in Michael’s voice.

Beck sat up but didn’t meet his father’s gaze.

“I hoped the secrets stopped once Decker became Master of Dark.”

“I’m sorry, dad,” he said. “You’re not getting a divorce, are you?” The irrational fear at the thought of his foundation crumbling made his breath hitch. He was barely able to handle his life as it was.

Michael chuckled. “No, son.”

“I think it’s the last secret,” Beck said, wanting to offer some comfort to the person who knew what to say to him.

“She’s hurting and won’t let me help her. That’s what frustrates me.”