Autumn Storm (The Witchling #2)(18)

“I’m so sorry,” he said.

“I’m not. I pulled through when no one thought I would. I’m grateful.”

He said nothing and squeezed her hand. Autumn rested her head against the headrest. Within minutes, she was asleep. Her body told him she hadn’t had a moment of sleep without pain. Beck pushed more of his magick into her, wanting to make up for the guilt stinging his emotions. He spent the trip home in thought.

She slept until they reached the school. He nudged her awake, released her and walked around the car to open her door. She took the hand he offered. He didn’t risk her rejection and instead helped her up the stairs. Too tired to object, Autumn and waved at him with a yawn as she entered the main house. Beck crossed his arms in the cold night and waited for her to close the door behind her.

Now that she was gone, he could freak out all he wanted. He rubbed the back of his head and trotted down the porch stairs to his car. He wasn’t accustomed to the intensity or wide range of his emotions and slammed his hand into the car roof, frustrated. Resting his forehead against the cold metal, he focused his thoughts. He needed to talk to his mother tonight.

“Hot date?”

Beck cursed himself quietly for not listening to his magick. He’d set up an alarm of sorts to warn him when Dawn was around. His father advised him to avoid the girl at all costs, especially being alone with her. She was unstable enough to accuse him of anything and everything under the sun.

The alarm was going off, and he’d been too freaked out by Autumn to pay attention. One day, he’d get this right!

“Hi, Dawn,” he said and lifted his head. He forced a smile, determined not to get sucked into Dawn’s moods.

She came from the direction of the kitchen entrance, dressed for a night out. Beck’s gaze swept over her. She wore a tight mini-dress and heels high enough to bring her close to his six-foot-two height. Dawn had always been the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen, with features and a body that got her into modeling when she was twelve. She’d left her career for the boarding school when she was fifteen. Right now, she was pretending to be friendly and sweet with a smile that used to pull him in.

As hot as she was, regret and guilt had long replaced anything else he felt for her.

“Hi, Beck,” she said.

“I’m taking off,” he said and opened his car door.

“It’s a girl.”

He froze. His gaze dropped to her abdomen. At four months pregnant, she was starting to show and still dressed for the club. Dawn shivered, appearing vulnerable in the cold night. She hugged herself.

“I’m giving her my last name,” Dawn continued. “I, um, wanted to see if you had any name ideas.”

Beck was silent for a long moment. “I hadn’t thought about it.”

“Huh.” She raised an eyebrow, and a spark of anger in her gaze warned him.

“I mean, you just told me it was a girl. I’ll have to think about it,” he added quickly.

Dawn drew closer. She stood a couple of feet from him. The world was closing in on him. First Autumn, now a baby girl. Beck wanted to run away screaming.

“Is … she healthy?” he asked.

“Of course. I don’t smoke or drink anymore.” Dawn reached out to him and took his hand. She placed his palm against her lower belly.

His earth magick felt the new life. Beck swallowed hard. He left his hand on her stomach when she dropped hers, unable to fathom the idea that his own child grew there. He wasn’t ready to be the protector of Light witchlings. He was even less prepared to be a father.

“Are you certain we can’t … make things work, Beck?” Dawn asked. “Even for her?”

He understood how dangerous the question was. Beck thought hard for an answer that wouldn’t set her off. When he was quiet, she stepped closer.

“Wouldn’t it be nice to be a family?” she asked.

“I’m not ready for that,” he said at last.

“And I am? So what, you’re going to make me raise your kid alone?”

She was right. This was as much his responsibility as hers, and entirely his fault for not thinking before sleeping with every blond girl that crossed his path. Beck didn’t know what to say.

“Your father’s legal team hasn’t even asked for visitation. Does that mean you don’t want anything to do with us?” Dawn searched his gaze.

“I’ll make sure you’re both taken care of,” he replied hoarsely.

“I’ll never model again, Beck. You realize that, don’t you? And it’s your fault!”

Overwhelmed, he said nothing.

“Fine, abandon us!” Dawn whirled to leave.

Beck caught her arm. “Dawn, wait.” He sought anything to say. “I don’t want to abandon you. I want to be a part of my daughter’s life.”

“What are you saying?”

“I don’t know.”

She sighed noisily. “You don’t know. Great one, Beck. Daddy is right. You’re an irresponsible, immature idiot.”

You don’t know the half of it, he agreed silently. “I need time to figure things out, Dawn.”

“What is there to figure out? We’re having a baby. If you want to see your daughter, you’ll give us a chance.”

“Let me think about it.”