Atone (Recovered Innocence #2)(46)
I start to argue, but Cora gestures with her head toward Vera, who is studying the map as though it’s a viper preparing to strike. I know a little bit about the memories that pin represents. The deeper we get into this, the more Vera’s had to share her past, and it’s starting to take its toll on her.
“Yeah. Okay. I didn’t realize how late it was. Why don’t we walk you to your car?”
Cora gathers her stuff while I save my searches and make a couple notes for tomorrow. All the while Vera is quiet, keeping herself separate.
Cora lays her hand on Vera’s arm. “I’ll only tell the guys the necessary information to get the job done. What’s been said in this room stays in this room.”
“Thank you.”
We all walk out to the parking lot. I make sure Cora gets in her car safely and watch as she drives off. It’s the first time I make the assumption I’m going with Vera to her motel room. Does that make this a relationship? What does that make us? She doesn’t comment as we climb into her car and she pulls out of the parking lot. Instead of turning left, she turns right. The last time she took me someplace unexpected was to Cassandra’s grave. I wonder what she has in mind this time.
We drive for a while and then it hits me that we’re in the area on the map where all the pins are. I force myself to stare straight ahead and not have any reaction. I know where she’s taking me. What I don’t know is why. This is her trip, her point to make. I’m just going to have to ride it out with her and see where it takes us. She’s quiet during the drive, but I know her mind isn’t. I can practically hear the words scrambling in her brain. My pulse kicks up in response to hers as we turn onto Plymouth Drive. She makes a U-turn and parks across the street from the house where she was held captive.
I can’t see her face, only a portion of her profile. Glancing past her, I stare at the house where her nightmare ended. It’s ordinary, like the others on the street. A dog barks. A dad plays catch with his daughter on their front lawn. A teenager washes his car in the driveway. A runner jogs by. Among all this normalcy, a monster sold girls into sexual slavery. Didn’t anyone wonder about the cars that came and went? How only men entered and exited the house? Didn’t they notice anything? All it would’ve taken was one person, one nosy neighbor, to save those girls, to save Vera.
My mouth fills with the bitter taste of frustration and anger; my whole body vibrates with it. I can only imagine what Vera’s feeling. How many times did she hope to be rescued before she gave up? What did it take for her to finally free herself? How was she able to do it and the others weren’t? Where did she go? The questions keep piling up, but I don’t voice them. She brought me here for a reason, and it wasn’t to cure my curiosity.
“My room was upstairs. The window on the right,” she says, pointing at the house. “It was boarded up with curtains over top so the men wouldn’t notice. Sometimes it was hard to tell when it was night and when it was day. They made two rooms out of one to house more of us. I don’t know who was in the other half. We never saw each other.
“I always knew when it was Monday. Those were the busiest days. Something about the weekend not working out for them, maybe. I don’t know. They all didn’t come for a f*ck. Some just wanted someone to talk to. I hated them the most. Stupid, right? But it’s like, why the hell should I listen to your whiny ass? I’m locked up here, forced to have sex with strangers, and you want me to sympathize with you not getting a f*cking promotion at work? Not one of them got the f*cking irony of that. Not one. Stupid f*cking bastards.”
She takes a deep breath and lays her head back on the headrest, still staring at the house. “This is the second time I’ve come back since I escaped. I was angrier the first time than I am this time. Isn’t that strange? I feel more defiant this time. You bent me, but you didn’t break me. I’m still standing. I’m free. That’s pretty much how I feel. I think you’re partially responsible for that. For just being quiet while I say all kinds of stupid, rambling shit. It’s a gift you have.”
She holds her hand out to me, her attention still on the house. I take it in both of mine, pressing hers between them. If I could pull her memories from her and carry them for her for a while, I would. She did that for me with Cassandra. The pain is still there and some of the anger, but it’s not near what it once was. I hope I can do that for her.
“Sex isn’t mechanical with you. I hope you know that. You’ve given me so many firsts, you have no idea. Thank you for that too.” She pulls her hand from mine and starts the car. “I’m done here. I don’t ever want to come back.”
I glance behind us at the house as we drive away. I’m going to have nightmares about it. About Vera and all the other girls who were held inside. If I thought she was brave before, I was wrong. She’s a f*cking superhero. I admire her more than anyone else I’ve ever met. She makes what I went through almost insignificant by comparison. She’s a rock star. A goddess. She’s f*cking courageous. And she’s mine…for a time.
Chapter 22
Vera
I don’t know why I took Beau to that house. It felt necessary, I guess. That’s probably the best way to put it. The only way to put it. Necessary. Like if I didn’t take him there right then I was going to fly apart into a thousand little pieces. I can’t give him the answers he wants, but I can give him all the rest of me. The good, the bad, and the seriously f*cked-up.