Atone (Recovered Innocence #2)(44)

“To get back at me for escaping? To replace me? Who the hell knows why?”

I know why. He’s hoping to draw me out. He doesn’t want her. He wants me.

“Something about it just doesn’t sit right.” He goes back to working the keyboard.

I stand and pace away. I can’t sit still. Beau is right. He’s breaking type for a very specific reason. I was such an idiot to think I could find Marie and get away. I never should’ve come back here. I never should’ve told Javier about Marie. God, I was so, so stupid. I should disappear like I told Beau I might. Go back where it’s safe, where no one will get hurt.

“You told Javier about Marie after you were together for a while, didn’t you?” he asks. “Just before you got the tattoo.”

“Yes.”

“Did you tell Emmaline about her?”

“No.”

“By then it was too late.” He stands and comes toward me. “He was already prepping you. He probably didn’t think a younger half sibling with a different last name could be much of a threat. He’d invested too much time to walk away.”

I take a step backward then two. “What point are you making?”

“He went after Marie specifically with a goal in mind.” He comes at me until I hit a bookshelf. “He’s not the kind of * who would risk his whole operation for revenge. That’s not what this is about.” He leans in as I lean back. “What is it about, Vera?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

“What made you run when you did? Why didn’t you take off sooner? Why did you escape at all?”

“I had to.” I put my hands on his chest and push at him. “I couldn’t stand it anymore. I couldn’t let one more stranger f*ck me.”

Shaking his head, he eases up, but doesn’t back off. “That’s not the real reason.”

“Why do you care? What does it matter?”

“Because this has been about something else all along. Sure, it’s about finding your sister, but it’s also about you.” He cradles my face in his hands. “Tell me what it is that’s got you so f*cking terrified you’re backing away from me like I’ll hurt you.”

I break out of his hold and step around him. Rubbing my arms, I move to the other side of the room. He doesn’t follow. He just watches me with that patient Beau gaze that tears at my defenses.

“The one thing I really like about you besides the sex is that you don’t ask a lot of questions,” I say. “Why change?”

“Because I’ve gotten more info on this case from girls on the Internet than I have from you and I’m starting to get f*cking sick of it.”

“I don’t know anything else that will help find Marie. What does it matter why he’s going after her? He’s after her. That’s all you need to know.”

“Cora thinks we should go to the police.”

“No. No way.”

“Why not? Give me something here, Vera.”

“You don’t get it. One of my regulars was an * cop who liked to brag as he f*cked about all the power he had, what a big man he was. He was a f*cking sadist coward who could only get off when I screamed in pain. There were more. I don’t know how many more, but there were rumors about someone in the district attorney’s office, politicians, businessmen—powerful men—f*cking underage girls. None of them came to our rescue so how can you expect me to believe they would now? That’s one of the reasons I’m not safe and I never will be.”

“What are the other reasons?”

I don’t answer.

“Why did we start this between us if you’re going to bail any minute and I don’t get to know why? So I just get left behind? I’m sick of getting left behind. Cassandra f*cking left me and now you’re going to do it too. I know it has something to do with Javier and the reason you ran, changed your name, and your appearance. Why?”

“I can’t. Please stop asking me.”

“You’re the only f*cking person who gets me.” He pounds his fist over his heart. Misery grinds his voice, making the edges rough. “That means something to me.”

“You get me too. I know you do. Please try to understand. I’d give you more if I could. I’d give you f*cking everything. But I can’t give you this. Please. Let it go.”

Growling, he shoves his hands in his hair and presses his palms against his eyes. I hate seeing him like this. I hate that I brought him to this. I go to him and pull his arms down so I can see his face. Lacing my fingers with his, I try to get him to look at me. He’s pissed at me, but that’s not all he is. He’s hurt. The anger and frustration I can handle. The thought that I cause him pain shames me. He’s been nothing but good to me, even when he had no reason to be.

I kiss him. He doesn’t respond right away, and then he wraps his arms around me, still holding my hands in his, and kisses me back. It’s a conciliatory kiss. I won, but I don’t feel like a winner.





Chapter 21


Beau


I’ve run a thousand scenarios through my mind about what Vera isn’t telling me. I have a feeling they’re not going to come anywhere near the actual truth. And if I keep pressing her she’ll give something away without meaning to and I’ll finally have a clue to chase. Other than her real name. I’ve been tempted so many times to search it. I know I’ll find something if I do. The look on her face when I told her I found her is the single reason I haven’t. Stark terror. That’s the only way to describe it. I can’t be the one to put that look on her face again.