Arrow's Hell (Wind Dragons MC #2)(41)

“Says who?” Faye asks.

“I saw it.”

“You saw them boning?” she asks, her voice taking on a higher pitch.

I rub my forehead. “No, I saw her leaving his room and him naked inside the room. And of course she had to say something to rub it in.”

“Hmmmm,” she says. “You know, Arrow told her to get the f*ck out of the clubhouse. After you left he lost it. Don’t even look inside the game room, because he smashed the shit out of it. I think he feels so much for you but doesn’t know what to do with it or how to handle it.”

He probably kicked her out because he felt guilty after sleeping in my bed, then going and f*cking her.

And he should.

“Maybe I should just find a guy and have some hot, filthy sex and work out my frustrations, instead of chasing after a man who doesn’t want me,” I say.

“Faye, leave the room,” Arrow grits out, the fury in his tone notable.

We both jump and look to the door where he’s standing, half in, half out.

Faye had left the door open just an inch, so Arrow must have opened it without us hearing.

Well, this is awkward.

What’s the bet he came just in time to hear the last words out of my mouth?

Such is my luck.

“I haven’t finished doing her hair,” Faye complains.

“Faye—”

He isn’t amused.

“Okay, okay,” she murmurs, giving me a wide-eyed look before she leaves. Arrow slams the door behind her and turns the lock.

I gulp.

“Yes?” I ask, trying to keep my voice even. “What do you want, Arrow? How about another kiss from me so you get turned on enough to go and f*ck another, easier woman?”

He looks around the room before meeting my eyes. “I didn’t f*ck her, Anna.”

I pretend to not know what he’s talking about. I have to try and retain some of my pride. “Who?”

“Anna,” he says softly. “I came out of the shower and she was there, waiting. I sent her on her way. It wasn’t her I wanted, although it would be a hell of a lot easier if I did. And that was my second, extremely cold shower for the day, because I was so f*ckin’ turned on but was trying to do the right thing by staying away from you. It wasn’t f*ckin’ easy.”

“Oh,” I say, my mouth hanging open a little. “She said—”

“Doesn’t matter what she said; that’s the truth, all right? So don’t go around f*ckin’ threatening to go f*ck some other guy, because you don’t want to push me, Anna.”

“Arrow—”

“I’m not used to having to explain myself, Anna, and I don’t f*ckin’ like having to do it now. You either have faith in me and trust me, or you don’t.”

It wasn’t that simple, was it?

My eyes narrow slightly. “We can’t do this, Arrow. You either want me or you don’t. You either take me or you don’t. I can’t do this back-and-forth shit.”

He rubs the back of his neck. “Why?”

“Why what?” I ask.

“Why the f*ck do you have to be so beautiful that I can’t get you out of my head?”

“Oh,” I say again, blinking furiously. Did he really think that about me? Of course he did, Arrow didn’t say things he didn’t mean. Fuck, that compliment feels good. It is nice to know he wants me as much as I want him.

“Here’s something no one knows. Before I gave in and f*cked Jill, I hadn’t been with anyone since Mary. Five years, Anna. I only f*cked her to try to get you out of my head, and I f*cking regret it. It should have been you. I don’t give a f*ck about Jill. I just didn’t want to hurt you.”

He didn’t have sex for five years? Because of Mary?

“Why?” I ask.

He looks me straight in the eye. “I don’t deserve you. I don’t deserve anything. How is it fair that I caused her death and now I get to be happy?” He stops and takes a breath. “I can’t go through something like that again. And with you . . . it’s worse, Anna. It’s f*ckin’ worse.”

I speak in a soft, gentle tone. “I’m not going to end up like Mary, Arrow. And what happened to her wasn’t your fault. It could have been anyone that day.”

“Anna—”

“I know you loved Mary, but she would want you to be happy, Arrow,” I say, my eyes pleading with his to believe me.

“She would,” he replies, smiling sadly. “She was always so good, so perfect, you know? It was hard to live up to that. She was soft. She never disagreed with me; she never raised her voice. She wasn’t made for me.”

He pauses and takes a deep breath.

“But you, Anna? You’re my perfect match. You were made for me, because you not only take me as I am but make me want to be a better man at the same time. Because you challenge me and aren’t afraid to give me your opinion. You’re a fighter, Anna, and exactly what I want. I thought f*cking Jill would take some of the want away, but it didn’t. I won’t be satisfied until I have you.”

“It should have been with me, not Jill, and I’m f*cking pissed off that she took what’s mine.”

I seriously hated that bitch.

His eyes darken. “Fuck, hearing you talk like this . . .”