Apprentice (The Black Mage, #2)(47)

"Ryiah!"

I spun around – and my heart leaped out of my chest. Darren. He was running through the hall, toward me, seemingly uncaring as he knocked over an unlit sconce to the floor. I opened my mouth to tell him to leave or stay or go or any of those things but before I could get a word out he grabbed me and shoved me against the wall.

Then

He

Kissed

Me.

Wildly, possessively, with a hunger that stole the will from my limbs. He kept me up against the wall, kissing me like he couldn't fight any longer. Like he was me, fighting himself and losing to a fervor that would burn him alive.

A loud gasp escaped my lips and he deepened the assault. His hands slid into my hair and I felt myself crumble, sparks shooting across my scalp and my skin and my heart until I could hear nothing but the hammering of our pulse.

"I shouldn't have danced with you." His voice was hoarse, ragged. He looked at me and his eyes were two black stars, pulling me in and drowning me. "I knew I shouldn't and I asked you anyway."

My lips parted before I even realized what was happening.

And then: What was I doing?

"No." I shoved the non-heir away. How could I? What was I thinking? A wave of shame rolled through me. "Darren, this is wrong!"

"You can't fight this Ryiah." Darren's eyes met mine and held them. "Any more than I can." The third part was so quiet I almost missed it. "And believe me. I've tried."

I took a step back and realized he was still pinning me to the wall.

"Let me go."

"Is that what you really want?" His eyes were unreadable.

No. "Yes," was what I heard myself say.

Darren leaned in close, his mouth brushing my ear. "You are a terrible liar." Then he kissed me again. Slowly. Once. Twice. Soft moth's wing kisses that made my knees buckle and collapse right out from under me.

And then I was home.

Everything smelled of pine and cloves and him. There was a steady burn rising in me that I couldn't ignore. My whole body was in flames. I was losing myself in what it felt like to be near him. This was what I had wanted. This was what I was missing. This was what I needed.

"Ryiah." The word was barely a whisper. "Ryiah, I have wanted to do this for so long."

You aren't the only one. Before I could stop myself I had pulled him back to me. My lips hovered above his for just a second before I lost control. And then I kissed him. I kissed him in a way I had never kissed Ian: hungry, hot, angry, desperate, confused, in love, in madness. I kissed him with everything I had. Everything I hadn't wanted to let myself feel—

A loud clash came from the hall behind us as someone sneezed loudly. Darren and I broke apart and I saw the telltale flash of Lynn's straight black ponytail. I could see the sconce she had accidentally kicked in her soft-footed approach.

It took me a moment to figure out what had upset her. And then I remembered.

Ian.

The moment was shattered in less than a second.

"Ryiah, look at me."

Ian.

Darren touched my face and I turned away, hating myself for what I had just done to the boy I claimed to love. And the one I didn't want to love.

"Don't do this."

"This was a mistake," I heard myself say. "I'm not – you aren't yourself - we-"

"Ryiah." Darren's eyes burned crimson. "I'm not sorry."





****





I'm not sorry. Darren's words continued to echo across my thoughts as I raced down the corridor halls. Panic invaded everything I had worked so hard to build. I had to find Ian before Lynn got to him. I had to tell him that it didn't-

"Ryiah!" Ella and Alex found me as I stumbled down the stairwell. "What happened? Lynn just told Ian she needed to talk to him and when he declined she said…" Ella's hazel eyes took in the rest of my appearance: the tussled hair, the smeared rogue, the frayed ends on the back of my dress when Darren had shoved me against the wall.

"Ry." My twin's eyes were huge. "How could you?"

I spotted Ian stumbling out of the ballroom, Lynn running after him talking rapidly. The blood froze in my veins when he saw me. Pain flared in his eyes.

He immediately turned heel and headed in the opposite direction.

I ran after him, not caring that everyone in the atrium saw me as I dashed across the room in panic.

"Ian – wait! Please!"

The fourth-year turned, green eyes flashing. "Don't follow me, Ryiah."

"Ian, Ian I'm sorry!" I couldn't speak. Tears were pouring down my face and I couldn't stop them as I stood shaking in the hall, begging him to stay.

Ian hesitated, and something slipped across his eyes as he looked back at me. "Who is it, Ryiah? Is it me? Or him?"

My breathing hitched and it felt impossible to speak. I knew which one I should say, but the last ten minutes could not be erased. No matter how much I wished they could. "I," I faltered. "I don't know."

"I hope you figure it out soon, Ryiah." He swallowed painfully. "Because my heart is breaking until you do."

I watched him go, hating myself.

"Ryiah."

Darren was watching me from the shadows.