Anything but Ordinary(44)

“Thanks a lot, Bryce.” Sydney’s voice was suddenly cold.

“Fine.” Bryce scooted to fully face her sister. “What is your deal, anyway? What is the deal with you?”

For the first time she’d seen since Bryce woke up, Sydney looked hurt. “What do you mean, my deal?”

Bryce softened. “I don’t know.” She took a breath. “Syd, what happened between then and now?”

Sydney’s mouth tightened. “First of all, I’m not as bad as you think. You judge me, you get pissy every time you see me just because I look different than you, or because I go out, or whatever. But you didn’t even give me a chance. You need to loosen up.”

Bryce shook her head. “You need to remember you have a family.”

“You need to understand that you were literally dead to the world, and everyone thought you were going to be dead forever.”

Bryce opened her mouth to respond, but something in Sydney’s voice made her stop. The bite was gone behind it.

Sydney continued. “I was so young, and I just…didn’t know how to deal. You were gone, and Mom and Dad…”

As Bryce began to understand, she felt a sharp pain in her chest, like a knife stuck in her. She thought of the vision she had seen, twelve-year-old Sydney crying quietly in the corner, with no one to hold her or wipe her tears. “They didn’t know how to deal, either.” Bryce’s eyes clouded with tears. She wanted to comfort Sydney now, like she used to, to tell her everything would be okay. But she knew Sydney didn’t need that anymore. She had grown up on her own.

Sydney just nodded. “It’s like, when something that bad can happen, anything can happen, you know?” Her voice began to shake. “And if you’re never sure if things are going to be okay, what’s the point of anything being okay? What is ‘okay,’ anyway? Because I sure as hell don’t know.”

Bryce let out, “But you’re more okay than I thought. And that’s good.” She looked at Sydney and touched her folded knee briefly. “You’re really smart.”

“Shut up,” Sydney said, dismissing her.

“You are,” Bryce shot back. “Smarter than me.”

“No!” Sydney said, raising her voice. Then she smiled back serenely. “I know.”

Bryce laughed, wiping her eyes on her sleeves.

“It’s nice to see you…” Like this, Bryce wanted to say. “It’s good to see you home.”

“Yeah.” Sydney rolled her eyes. “Got kind of burned out.”

Bryce was silent. Burned out doing what? She wasn’t sure if she wanted to know.

Sydney spoke up. “Listen, I don’t know what really happened, but I think you’re better off without Greg. None of us are the same as we were before your accident—not even you. If he’s stuck on you, then he’s stuck on the past you. You know what I mean?”

Sydney then grabbed the remote to unmute the TV. Bryce thought about what she had said. Was she really that different from the Bryce of five years ago? She guessed that it was hard to really see yourself, the same way divers could never see their own splash.

So who was she now? As she scooted closer to her sister on the couch, Bryce decided that it was time to find out.





hunder rattled outside the tall windows of the library, spilling into the tap-tap of raindrops hitting the glass. Bryce drifted through the medical aisle, flipping through books full of the anatomy of the brain. Which part did dreams come from?

Were all her visions real?

Before the bachelorette party, she had seen herself dive. She didn’t know if it was a memory or a premonition, but now she needed to know if she could really dive again. Did she have the ability to improve even more? She’d never be an Olympic athlete again—her body had already missed the point where it could have peaked—but she didn’t want to be distracted by old goals. She wanted to make new ones. And it wasn’t just about her body, either. She wanted to start everything again. It wasn’t like before, when she wanted everything back. Bryce just wanted everything. Period.

Bryce remembered the first day she realized the visions she saw were real. The strange power she felt as she came to that conclusion. The hum that went through her body as she connected the Carter of her dreams to the one that stood before her.

Carter. She hadn’t seen him since before the bachelorette party. It had only been a few days, but it seemed like forever. She looked at her phone. Nothing.

He’d always just been around. Sometimes she’d wanted him there, sometimes she hadn’t. But today she wanted him. And she would have to do something about it.

She dialed his number, holding her breath after each ring.

“You’ve reached Carter Lynch. I’m unavailable at the moment, but please leave a message and I’ll get back to you.”

“Carter, it’s Bryce.”

She found herself smiling at the sound of his voice. The librarian gave her a stern look.

More quietly, she said, “I’m at the Vanderbilt Library. Do you want to come here? I figured you might be on campus somewhere. I mean, I don’t just need a ride. I want to see you.” Bryce paused. “I wanted to thank you for the gift, by the way. My phone is dying, so just come if you can. Bye.”

She sat at one of the enormous oak tables and watched the light change through the stained-glass window. She watched the students walk around with their textbooks and messenger bags. She might have been one of them in another life. Maybe she still would someday. She’d have to do something with herself soon enough. She never liked school, but she liked reading.