Anything but Ordinary(41)

When Bryce turned and walked away from him, she knew it would be for the last time.





he rest of the night was in slow motion. Bryce floated among the jumping bodies in real time, their glinting jewelry and ice-filled glasses making her vision glow at the edges. She felt the silvery fabric of her dress against her skin, sending waves of cold to her bones. The hip-hop blasting from the speakers might as well have been a swelling orchestra, or a tinkling piano playing to an empty room.

Greg joined the mass of his friends, leaping in time to the music, taking shot after shot until he could barely stand.

In every interaction, she was half there. Half listening to Tom tell her about the time he almost broke some guy’s neck when he played football for Stanford. Half holding Zen’s hair back as she upset the contents of her stomach in the toilet. Half dancing with Gabby when she dragged Bryce onto the floor.

The other part of her was still outside with her heart stopped. She had done the right thing, but no good feeling came. Nothing came. Emptiness was all.

Her two halves came together with a snap when she heard Gabby’s voice. “I’m ready to go,” she said, taking off her heels, her eyes half closed. “Let’s go back to the hotel.”

The parties exited in a herd of arms wrapped around shoulders, bare feet, shoes dangling from hands, and even some sloppy kisses.

Inside their suite, Bryce took a long time washing up. She would run the faucet, stop and stare at nothing, forget what she was doing. By the time she entered the bedroom, three lithe, still-dressed bodies were sprawled on the king-sized bed, fast asleep. Zen was asleep on the couch. Bryce tiptoed to each one, removed their shoes, and stretched out on the down comforter of the second bed.

But Gabby was still up. Bryce could hear her filling a glass of water, through a crack in the bathroom door. When Gabby emerged, she gave a heavy sigh and drifted out to the main room. Bryce looked at the ceiling, took a deep breath, and followed her to the far windows.

“Contemplating?” Bryce asked.

Gabby turned around, her eyes bright, still drunk. “Oh, good, it’s you,” she said, her voice thin and tired. She grabbed Bryce’s arm. “Come with me!”

“Where?”

Gabby slid up the pane and stepped through the open window into the night air. “Come on!” she repeated, and with a dangerous sway to the left, she disappeared.

Bryce stepped through to climb the rickety fire escape behind Gabby’s barefooted form. Of all places she thought she’d end up tonight, following a drunk Gabby up a fire escape was not one of them. But something about it was right in the rest of a terribly wrong evening. The stupidity of it, mostly. They could fall, but so what? Bryce was sick of doing the right thing all the time.

“Look, Bryce!” Gabby called down ecstatically. She was propelling herself over a wall at the top of the ladder. Bryce followed suit.

The roof of the Opryland Hotel was an expanse of bare cement except for the center, where thick steel girders held up an enormous neon sign. Bathed in the red light of the giant cursive, Bryce and Gabby caught their breath.

“I’m still totally plastered,” Gabby breathed, laughing.

Bryce laughed with her. “I’m glad you’re scaling the side of buildings, then.”

They stood in silence for a moment, taking in the blur of lights below them.

“Are you having fun?” Gabby turned to Bryce.

“Yeah!” Bryce tried to sound as enthusiastic as possible. “Definitely.”

“You’re faking,” Gabby said, with a scolding look. “I can tell.”

“No, I’m not,” Bryce said quietly.

“I’m having the most fun ever,” Gabby said, and then, suddenly, her lip began to tremble. Tears rolled down her cheeks in black, mascara-filled streaks.

“Gab!” Bryce put her arm around Gabby’s bony shoulders. “What’s wrong?” Bryce glanced around the empty roof. She had no idea what to do. She had rarely seen Gabby lose control.

“I’m—I’m—sorry,” Gabby sputtered. “It’s just, it’s really good to be home.”

“It’s really good to have you home.”

“I felt like I could let loose,” Gabby sniffed. “It was good.”

At good, she collapsed in Bryce’s arms, her chest heaving with sobs. Bryce tore her gaze from the cracked concrete. “What’s wrong, Gab?”

“I just feel so much pressure,” Gabby said between sobs. “With all these people in our hometown…” She swallowed another wave of tears. “They’re all so perfect, they know what they want to do with their lives, and I’m just putting on a big show.…”

“Are you kidding me?” Bryce almost laughed, but she held it in. “You’re going to one of the best law schools in the country!”

“Yeah, but I don’t know if I can keep up,” Gabby confessed, shaking her head.

“But when you first told me, at the restaurant, you didn’t look like you weren’t sure. You looked, like, ready to go.”

“I was trying to impress you.”

Bryce scoffed. “Impress me? The girl who couldn’t walk?”

“I don’t know,” Gabby said wistfully. “I wanted you to think that I’d done so much while you were asleep. God knows you would have done more. Probably a gold medal by now, right? Maybe two?”