Always Have: A Bad Boy Romance(50)

“Sure.”

Somehow I make it outside to my car. I’m surprised I’m still on my feet. Shouldn’t I have dropped to the ground by now? Isn’t that what happens when your heart stops beating? The blood quits flowing and your brain is starved for oxygen and you die.

How am I still alive?

I can’t hurt Selene. I’ve been running interference for her since we were kids, standing in the way of anything that threatens her. Sometimes things get by me, especially where her relationships are concerned. I know I can’t protect her from everything, and f*ck, she has horrible taste in men. When she gets hurt, I deal with it with alcohol and sex, and whispered threats if I’m lucky enough to run into the bastard who messed with her.

But never me. I’m never the one doing the hurting, and I never will be. I guard her with my life. I’d take a bullet for her—give her a kidney or a lung or my f*cking heart if hers stopped working.

I certainly don’t need mine anymore.

I’ve made two real promises in my life. One was at our parents’ funeral. I didn’t cry that day, even though I was ten and no one would have blamed me. I didn’t cry because Selene needed to, and she needed me to be strong for her. I held her tight as we stood by their graves and I whispered my promise. I will never hurt you. I will always take care of you.

And I have. I’ve never broken that promise.

The second promise was when I told Kylie I wouldn’t break her.

My two promises are colliding. There’s no way I can keep them both. I can’t stay with Kylie without hurting Selene. I heard it from her own lips, saw the truth of it in her face.

I can’t do that to her.

My only hope left is Kylie’s strength. Knowing what I have to do makes me feel like I’m drowning, but I cling to the thought that Kylie can take it. I’ll explain, and maybe she’ll understand.

And then I imagine her face when I tell her it’s because of Selene—that Selene doesn’t want us to be together, that she needs the dynamic of our friendship to stay the same. That I’m faced with the impossible, and there’s nothing else I can do. That Kylie has my heart and always will, but I’ll give it up for my sister if I have to.

I can’t tell Ky. She’ll be angry with Selene. Of course she will. She’ll blame her, and I’ll do the very thing I’m trying to avoid: ruin Selene’s friendship with Kylie.

And Selene will never forgive me.

I head back to the gym, but I’m going to call my clients and cancel. I can’t deal with anyone right now. I’ll get in a hard workout, and at some point I’ll go home. Kylie will be there. And I’ll have to tell her.

I’ll have to be the man she was afraid I’d be.





The sound of the front door wakes me up. I got home from work late, but Braxton wasn’t here, and I didn’t have any messages. I tried to call, but he didn’t answer, so I texted. He replied, saying he was working late. I curled up on the couch with the TV on, and must have dozed off.

He comes in and sets his keys down on the counter.

“Hey,” I say, rubbing my eyes. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know.”

I shift so I can see the clock. It’s after eleven.

“Wow, it’s late,” I say. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah.” He heads into the kitchen and opens the fridge.

My shoulders tense up. He is not okay. “Are you sure?” I ask. I sit up and pull a pillow into my lap. Something about his posture makes me nervous.

He grabs a beer and opens it, but doesn’t look at me. “Yeah.”

My heart beats faster and my hands tingle, like my body is getting ready to flee. “Where were you?”

“Nowhere. Just getting a drink.” He takes a long pull from the bottle.

“Okay,” I say. “Did something happen? You seem upset.”

“No,” he says. He still won’t look at me. “I just needed to do some thinking.”

“About what?”

He doesn’t answer, his eyes on the counter in front of him.

Something is very wrong.

My throat feels like it’s closing and I almost can’t speak. “Brax, what’s going on?”

He’s silent for a long moment. He takes another drink and sets the bottle down. “I think we made a mistake.”

“What did you say?”

“This,” he says. “It was a mistake. We were better off as friends.”

Oh, no. No, he can’t be saying this. “What are you talking about?”

He rubs his chin. “I don’t think I’m cut out for this serious relationship stuff. I thought I could be, but I was wrong.”

I feel sick to my stomach. I’m falling, spiraling down through nothing. Why is he doing this?

Oh, god. There’s only one reason he’d do this to me out of the blue. “Holy shit, did you—” I don’t know if I can say it. “Did you cheat on me?”

He finally looks up. “No. God, no.”

“Then what is this about?”

He takes a deep breath. “We were great as friends—you, me, and Selene. And I screwed that up. I shouldn’t have. We should have stayed the way we were. I’m no good at this stuff, Kylie. It was better before.”