Adored (Masters and Mercenaries #8.5)(34)

Yep. He would rather face a team of lawyers in front of the Supreme Court with a no-win case than have to see her cry. He held her close. He was shitty at the tender stuff, but somehow Laurel seemed to bring it out of him. “You’ll only get tied up as long as you want to be, baby. I can’t imagine wanting another sub. Even one who can see her feet. I’m not all that into feet anyway. And if you want to see yours, I’ll hold a mirror up and you’ll be able to see them. Baby, don’t cry.”

That seemed to make her cry harder.

“Or you can cry. You can cry all you like.”

He held her and smoothed a hand over her back as he rocked to the music. There was something both sexy and comforting about the beat.

Until he listened to the lyrics.

Where did they go? From here, where the hell were they supposed to go? Should they simply move through life and play house?

He had to face the fact that he wasn’t sure he wanted to get married again. He also had to face the fact that he didn’t want to live without Laurel.

He didn’t even know what to think about the kid, and didn’t that make him the biggest shit of all time?

Somehow, they ended up lying together in the big bed as she slowly calmed. He cuddled her close, almost dreading the moment when they would have to talk again because he had no idea what to say. When he was with her, everything felt right, but she was utterly correct. Things were going to change. They would have to.

She sniffled and laid her head on his chest. “I’m sorry I ruined the evening.”

The song started up again and he laid a hand on her head. “You didn’t ruin anything, Laurel. We’re fine. You’re just emotional. Don’t you have hormones and stuff?”

She nodded against his chest. “Lots.”

They would ebb and flow and eventually go away. He simply had to hold on to her through the rough stuff.

And what about when the kid comes? That’s about the roughest stuff possible. No way you can control a kid. You don’t even know how to be a dad, and we all know what kind of a husband you make.

His arms wrapped around her almost as though rebelling against the logic of his brain. She was his. He didn’t have to give her up now. Not even for her own good. “You’ll see. We’ll be fine. And you’re going to be gorgeous when you’re really big… I mean further along.”

Her face was red but her lips had turned up when she looked at him. “I’m going to be big, Mitch. Really big. I’m supposed to gain at least thirty pounds, but when I’m not nauseous I’m hungry, so I might gain more. Unfortunately, this baby doesn’t get kale cravings. He wants ice cream. Or she. Either way, this tiny thing obviously has a sweet tooth.”

Well, Laurel certainly did. “The good news is I heard Macon Miles made a massive cake for tonight. The midnight buffet isn’t far away, but if you need something now, we can make it happen. Pregnant ladies get perks.”

Or he would steal some if he had to. He would do anything to keep a smile on her face.

“Mitch, do you honestly think you’ll still want to play with me? I don’t see a bunch of pregnant women running around here. I think I’m the only one.”

Was that what she was worried about? She’d been in the nursery for most of her time as a trainee, so she’d only seen the moms coming back after they had babies. “Laurel, it’s been a freaking baby boom around here. You feel alone because you haven’t seen it. Charlotte Taggart was playing up until a couple of weeks before she gave birth. They modified everything for her, but she and Big Tag weren’t going to give that part of their life up. From what I hear, Serena and Avery played long into their pregnancies, and so did Sean’s wife, Grace. And you won’t be alone. I happen to know Keith and Ashley are trying to get pregnant, and so are Jesse and Phoebe. Although they’ll probably name their baby after Harry Potter, so I’m praying for that kid. And you know one of these days Will’s going to give in and convince Bridget to have a kid.”

He feared for a world where Bridget Daley had pregnancy hormones running through her veins.

But he didn’t want Laurel to feel alone.

“So no one’s going to think it’s weird or irresponsible?”

“To play with the father of your baby?” He’d almost slipped and said husband.

She shrugged as though it didn’t matter when it so obviously did. “Just to play. Maybe I should only think about the baby.”

“Laurel, you don’t have to give up your sexuality because you’re pregnant. No one here would ever want you to do that. You’re beautiful and nothing makes me prouder than to show you off, but if you’re uncomfortable, then we’ll play privately.”

“Do you mean that?”

He would miss coming here, miss the camaraderie. “Yes. My place is with you.”

At least he knew that much.

“You love this place.”

“But I need to stay with you.” There was something else, something he couldn’t even think. I love you more. “I need to look out for you and the baby. If I can’t do that here, then I’ll do it where I can. But Laurel, you don’t stop being a woman because you become a mom. I’ve seen it happen, though more on the other side. My mom didn’t stop being a woman. Ever. She wasn’t much of a mom, but even I know you’re different. You can be both because I know you’ll never neglect your child. You’ll find a balance.”