Addison (The Mitchell/Healy Family #6)(3)

“Yeah, okay.” When I turned around again he was gone.

Feeling as if I could get back to the task at hand, I washed the container, dried it and put it away before returning to the common area. I looked around twice, and even peeked outside before coming to the conclusion he’d left.

I didn’t get it. He’d made a point to track me down and introduce himself, only to disappear in a few minutes. Whatever the case may have been, I didn’t have the time or interest to waste it wondering. People like Cole come and go in Narcotics Anonymous. There was a possibility I’d never see him again. For the sake of keeping my legs closed I hoped it was true. I didn’t consider myself easy, but that guy had it going on. He was my type, which made him dangerous.

By the time the next meeting rolled around, and Cole hadn’t shown up, I thought I was better off that way. I could stay focused and not be fantasizing about the sexy man I knew nothing about.

Over the weekend I spent time with my brother and his wife, Shalan, who happened to be a country music singer. Their baby, little Jordan Noah, was getting big, and I liked to help out. Sometimes being around them reminded me of what I might never have. You see, my focus had to stay on my addiction. Sure, I was allowed to have a life, but for me, relapsing was still a possibility. Did I want to use drugs again, absolutely not, but if something emotional happened in my life; a loss, a breakup, anything remotely difficult, I was afraid if I’d be strong enough to handle it on my own. Still, it was impossible to not envision being in love like my brother and Shalan were. It was hard to imagine never being able to have my own child that would love me unconditionally, and never know me as the addict in the family. I wanted that for myself, but I wasn’t to the point where I felt it was a good decision. I needed time; to reflect on my past, and to adhere to the realization that my future would always be a struggle.

By Monday, after a relaxing weekend, I started out on my weekly trip to the local hospital. After stopping by to fetch a few lattes, I pulled into the large parking garage where my car would sit for most of the day.

I’d like to think of it as a job recruitment, but I was really there to offer patients the meeting schedules. Each week there were new addicts, either recovering from an overdose, or having been checked in to get clean. When I first started doing this it was difficult. I remember being in their position – lost and feeling like I’d rather die then go through the torture. More times than I liked to talk about, most of these patients would either relapse, or some even kill themselves. It was sad, and unfortunately it was happening more and more every day. Drugs were everywhere, and people were always looking to escape reality.

After signing in with my visitor badge, I headed to the fifth floor and made it to the nurses station. Sammy, a familiar face I got to see every week, greeted me. “Addy, how are you today?”

I handed her one of the lattes. “I’m doing great, how are you?”

“Good. My son made the all-star team. We were at the ball field all weekend, but I wouldn’t trade it.”

“Awe, make sure you tell Trevor I said congratulations. It’s nice he’s so active.”

“I know. It’s better than him sitting home playing those horrendous video games.”

I put the drink holder on the counter. “Where are Trish and Max?”

“They are admitting a new patient. I’m sure they’ll only be a few more minutes.” She handed me a clipboard full of this weeks patients. “Some of those names you’ll recognize,” she said sarcastically. “It’s like a revolving door.”

I did recognize a few reoccurring patients. “I’ll start with the veterans and then hit the newbies. Anyone I need to know about in particular today?”

“There’s a patient by the name of Chase. He came in last night in bad shape. Police brought him in. I’d say he’s gone without substance for at least twenty-four hours now, maybe even more. He’s been sick since he got here.”

“Family?” I had to inquire.

“None that we know of. He isn’t being very divulging, if you know what I mean. I don’t think he’d be here if the police hadn’t been the ones to admit him. To be honest, he’s lucky he’s not in jail. At least here we can make him comfortable. Had it not been for the officer who brought him, that’s exactly where he’d be. Lucky for him Joe was working. That man is a saint, I tell ya. If I wasn’t married to a good one I’d be all up on that. Why you won’t go out with him is beyond me.”

I kept staring down at the paperwork to avoid eye contact. “We work together.”

“You do not. Addison, he’s a cop. You see him in passing.”

“It’s a conflict of interest,” I added.

“It’s you being scared to date someone who knows you were an addict, that’s what it is.” She didn’t say it in a mean way. Sammy knew me. We’d gone out a few times to dinner, and she’s been a friend when I needed a neutral listener. “It’s just dinner. What’s the worst that can happen?”

“He told me a while back that a family member had drug problems. He’ll always assume I’ll relapse because he sees it everyday with his job. We’ve talked about this. I can’t be with someone and always wonder if they look down on me. I’ve got to remain positive.”

“Okay, it’s your choice, but that one is a great catch. I mean, have you seen his hands? My god I’d love to know what he can do with them.”