Addison (The Mitchell/Healy Family #6)(24)

I hadn’t cried in a long time, but for some reason disappointing him hurt me. He was looking for someone to connect to, and when he found it I’d let him down. I hated myself for putting us in this situation. Worst of all, I knew I couldn’t stick around to make it right.

I waited a few minutes hoping he would come back out and say something to make it all better, but he didn’t. Since I had to be at the church, I couldn’t take the time to hunt him down and apologize.

That was by far the worse meeting I’d ever experienced. Every single person who shared reminded me of Cole. Every empty seat represented him not being there. It was heart wrenching.

I thought after some time he would have called or sent me a message, but after I cleaned up and locked up the church my phone had no notifications. Sadly, I drove home feeling like the biggest jerk.

For the next three days I didn’t hear from Cole. I worried he was using, but kept it in the back of my mind so I didn’t have to feel like any more of a failure. After four days I couldn’t stand it anymore. I needed to know he was okay. I had to make sure I wasn’t the reason he went back to his addiction.

The tattoo shop wasn’t hard to find. He’d told me about the location when we spent the day together at the lake. I think the complicated part was finding the courage to walk inside knowing he wanted nothing to do with me.

I didn’t know what to expect when I first stepped through the door. The sound of the someone getting inked was apparent. As the door shut it made a jungle sound. From behind a half-wall someone stood up to greet me. “Can I help you?”

“I’m looking for Cole. Is he here?”

“Hey, Cole,” he yelled toward the back of the building. “You’ve got company.”

Then I saw him, emerging from his own cubicle. His eyes met mine and I could tell he was frustrated. He said nothing as he grabbed my arm and led me to a back room. Once inside he closed the door behind us. Supplies were on shelves on either sides of the walls. “What are you doing here?”

“I needed to see you.”

“Why? I think you made it abundantly clear we needed to steer clear of each other.”

He was being so distant. I hated it. “I didn’t mean that we couldn’t hang out. I just said the other stuff should stop.”

“Yeah, well it’s fine. As you can see I’m busy. I need to get back to work before I lose this gig.”

“Cole.” I reached for his arm. “Are you okay?”

“I’ll be fine. I always am.”

“Wait. Don’t leave. I, um, I want to get a tattoo.”

“Yeah right.”

“No, I’m serious.” I pulled up my shirt to reveal my midriff. “I want a large group of flowers with my family name incorporated into it. If you can’t do it, I’ll go somewhere else.”

I was frank. Perhaps I needed to be to get his attention. I don’t know why being his friend meant so much to me, but it’s what I wanted.

“First off, it takes a while to draw it up, and second, you need an appointment. I’m booked up. Maybe it’s best if you find someone else. I’m sure the last thing you want is someone like me touching you.”

“Like you?” I didn’t understand.

“Yeah. Come on, Addison. You know I’m different. You’re ashamed to bring someone like me home.”

“What? That’s insane. I would never say that.”

“You didn’t have to. You spent one day with me. You don’t owe me anything. If this is some attempt to clear your conscience, don’t bother. I’m good.” He started to leave the room again with me standing there. “I made you a promise, Cole. Please don’t walk away from me.”

“Why?” He turned around and got up in my face, so close that I could feel him breathing. “Tell me why I should care about anything you have to say.”

I don’t know what made me do it. Call it a momentary lapse of judgment, but I grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled his lips against mine. He didn’t try to back away. Instead his arms came around my body, holding me against him. I felt his tongue enter my mouth and then I knew he’d stopped fighting. His hands were in my hair, mine still clinging to his shirt for dear life. I couldn’t stop myself.

When our lips parted he smiled and shook his head. “You’re screwing with me head, precious. I don’t like it.”

“You’re screwing with my head,” I argued. “Do you think I enjoy hurting people?”

“I wouldn’t know.”

“I like you, Cole. We just can’t do this. We can’t be together without complications. Why would you want to get involved knowing how dangerous it can be?”

He reached for my hand. “Because I think you’re worth it. Is that a good enough answer for you?”

I nodded. It was. It had to be. I couldn’t stand there before him and tell him I didn’t want to pursue this. I couldn’t deny myself the pleasure I received when I was close to him. “I was wrong to push you away the other night. I did it because I’m scared.”

He brushed the side of my cheek. “Pick me up after work tonight. We’ll talk about it.” Cole kissed me one more time before leading us out of the stock room. He went back to his client, while I saw myself out. My hands were shaking as I climbed back in the car.