Addison (The Mitchell/Healy Family #6)(14)

Cole looked at me and smiled as I pulled away from the curb. “I like that.”

“Try to remember it when you think you can’t change. It helps me.”

Cole thought he was worse off than he really was. He could have been sticking a needle in his arm, but he never had. Maybe Joe’s overreacting had saved Cole from that fate. Maybe this was exactly where he was supposed to be.

Cole was quiet for the rest of the ride. He gazed out the window, and I left him to think to himself. I knew when prying wasn’t a good idea.

He did help me when I went into the grocery store to grab snacks, well if that’s what you’d call it. I used a cart, because it was easier to get around. Every single time I went to fetch a new item I’d come back to ten random things thrown into the basket. He’d pretend he didn’t do anything by looking in another direction. At one point I think we had twenty air fresheners in all scents. I couldn’t stop laughing, which obviously made him happy. When it was all said and done he put everything back, and even carried the bags when we left.

We rolled into the parking lot of the church with two minutes to spare. Since I had to get everything started, Cole insisted on setting up the coffee stands and trays of snacks for later.

He came into the room around fifteen minutes after we’d started. There were about ten regulars, and a few faces I saw every once in a while. Cole sat in the back with his arms crossed in front of his chest. A few times I glanced his way just to get a better look at his muscles. It was shameful – I knew it was, even though I couldn’t help myself. As soon as he’d look at me, I’d peer away, fearing he’d caught me yet again. It was a game we were playing. I was in denial, not because of my attraction to him. He was difficult to overlook. I hated myself for wanting to, because I knew he was off limits.

Toward the end of the meeting Cole came up to the podium to tell his story. I was humbled he was prepared to share already. Most people waited a few visits to get familiar with the environment. They wanted to know they weren’t alone before divulging their sins.

Since I already knew his story, probably more details than anyone in the room would ever know, I sat quietly listening, feeling proud that he was making an effort.

After the meeting a few people welcomed him to our group. I chatted with regulars and noted their progress. Once the room cleared out I began cleaning up, making sure the coffee pots were emptied and cleaned. I think I could feel his presence behind me even before I turned around. When I did he was standing within inches. “You scared me,” I announced to see if he’d back up.

He didn’t budge. “Do you need help?”

“The dishes need to be dried and put away.”

I was getting nervous, feeling overwhelmed with how close we stood to one another. His eyes were staring into mine, and I knew what was coming. I knew it with every bone in my body what was about to happen, and I didn’t want to stop it.

He took one hand and lifted it up to brush my cheek. “It’s too bad you have so many rules, precious. I’m pretty sure I could leave you breathless.”

My lips parted, but words wouldn’t come out. What was I to say to his statement that he didn’t already know. I wasn’t a broken record. Like it or not, I couldn’t want to explore the chemistry between us. I had to pretend it didn’t exist.

I reached behind me, took a towel off the counter, and shoved it into his hand. “Here.”

He shook his head and said something under his breath before proceeding to dry the dishes.

We worked in silence for a few minutes, which only made it more awkward. We were alone in a church kitchen. All I could think about were his words, and what it would feel like to be touched by a man again. I hated admitting how long it had been since I’d last been intimate. I’d been too focused to get involved. Still now, I worried it would change me.

I had to remain professional.

We finished the dishes and locked up the church before leaving. It was a nice night, so I rolled the windows all the way down making it too loud to talk. I wanted to hurry up and drop Cole off before he could get under my skin again. It was already hard sitting so close and smelling the scent of his cologne. I could close my eyes and see myself getting close to sniff his skin.

As I pulled up to his family home, Cole turned to face me. “Are you proud of me for sharing tonight?”

“I am. I just hope you continue to come to the meetings. They help. I know sometimes they feel like a waste of time, but I can promise you they’re not.”

He reached up and ran the back of his hand over my cheek again. “I know I’m in good hands.”

“Cole,” my voice sounded scratchy as I struggled to remain calm. “I can’t be the one to help you if you keep taunting me.”

He leaned in closer. I couldn’t budge. I was too afraid of what I’d do if I moved even an inch. “You’re the one taunting me, Addison.”

“It’s Addy,” I corrected.

“I prefer your full name, because it’s beautiful like you.” He moved closer, this time making it so I could feel his breath against my skin. He smelled of spearmint, like he’d just put something in his mouth to freshen up for this moment. I didn’t know whether to be flattered or offended that he expected something to happen. “It’s getting harder to avoid what’s happening between us.”