Addicted to the Duke (Imperfect Lords #1)(68)

“What happened to Alex when he was imprisoned by Murad?”

“Did he not tell you?”

She shook her head. “I do know he loved a woman called Tulay.”

His eyebrows rose. “He has never spoken of Tulay to me.”

“If Costa called for you, he must have been badly injured.”

“He was, but Costa called for Jacob, not me. I simply happened to be on board Jacob’s ship. We had attempted to rescue Alex from Murad, but his pirates outnumbered us, and his many ships had immense power. We barely managed to sail away after we took a pounding under cannon fire. We thought we’d missed our opportunity to stage a rescue and that Alex was lost to us. We did not realize our attack gave him the opportunity to escape until we received the missive from Costa.”

“He was very lucky to have such relentless friends, wasn’t he.”

David barely smiled. “When I first got to this bay, lucky would not be the word I’d use to describe Alex’s situation.”

What could she say to that? Instead, Hestia waited for him to continue.

“His two years with Murad had taken its toll. He’d been treated well, originally, but then Murad had shown his true colors. He was badly beaten and abused during captivity, but those wounds had healed, only scars to show for it. His body was badly emaciated and he looked like a walking skeleton.”

Hestia had seen a couple of scars on his torso but had thought he’d gotten those when fighting the Turks. If he wasn’t covered in wounds, why had he been in such bad shape? “Did he almost die of thirst in the rowboat?”

“Lack of water didn’t help, that’s true, but it was his dependence on opium that almost killed him.”

Her mouth dropped open. “I don’t understand. How did opium hurt him? I thought it was a useful medicine. Didn’t we give him laudanum for his pain, doesn’t that contain opium?”

His fists clenched on his thighs. “The Turks smoke it. They use it for recreational purposes.”

“So it is like tobacco?”

He moved on the seat. “Ah, not exactly. Opium, when it is smoked or ingested, can take you to a happy place. It eases pain, which is why I told you to give him a small amount of laudanum. But if you take more it also fills you with euphoria, makes you feel like nothing in the world is impossible. It’s a kind of dreamland where no one and nothing can hurt you.”

“That sounds nice.”

“To begin with perhaps, but soon it’s more of a nightmare than a dream.” At her look of confusion he added, “A person can come to depend on the feeling opium generates, especially if their world is not a pleasant one.”

“And that is bad because…”

“Because soon a small amount of opium is not enough. Too much can kill you. Besides, you end up wanting more and more, and if you can’t get it you will do almost anything—no, you will do anything to get more opium. That is how Murad controls his captives. He can bend them to his will, make them do things they would never consider doing if they did not crave the opium.”

Hestia’s imagination took flight. What sorts of things would Murad force a man like Alex to do? Her stomach began to tighten and bile rose up her throat. No wonder he had nightmares.

“Worse still, once your body is used to the opium, when you can’t get any more, it begins to break down. Your body suffers terribly. Alex thinks it was me who saved him, but I didn’t even know what I was dealing with or how to help it. It was a miracle, or his stubborn strength, that pulled him through.”

His tone had hardened.

“Why don’t you admire him for his strength?” she asked.

He looked at her. “Is it that obvious?”

“Yes.”

“It’s because knowing how dangerous taking opium can be, he continues to do so. Nothing I say can stop him. One day he will succumb again. And God help those who are around him at the time.”

Hestia sat back and considered the amounts of laudanum she’d given Alex when David had warned her not to. Now she understood why. However, she could see no change in Alex’s behavior and she was sure he wasn’t taking any laudanum now.

“You know he’s going after Murad?”

She nodded at his question. “I’m beginning to understand why.” Her imagination ran riot thinking of what a man like Murad might have forced Alex to do.

“Yet you’re still going to marry him instead of me?”

She turned to face the man she’d come to think of as her friend. “You told me you wanted to marry for love. That being a younger son gave you that freedom because you were not important. What your family wanted didn’t matter. Your family expected you to marry for money but you wanted more.” She reached for his hand. “It was the same for me. I want the love match my parents never had.”

“I could love you,” he said simply.

“Maybe I could have loved you too, if I had met you first. But my heart belongs to Alex and probably always will. I can’t have you sacrificing your dream of love when I will never be able to make that dream come true.”

“He could die facing Murad, then what? You’ll never remarry?” At her nod he growled deep in his chest. “You’ll live your life alone, a duchess of nothing, childless, with only bittersweet memories? You deserve more than that.”