Actual Stop (Agent O’Connor #1)(94)

“I’d never ask you to do that, Ryan. I was wrong to treat you that way. I was selfish, and I didn’t consider how much my attitude was hurting you. I’m so sorry.”

Relief flooded me, and I was glad I was already stretched out because I think my knees would’ve failed me otherwise. My heart swelled like the Grinch’s in that Christmas movie, and my smile was so wide my cheeks ached.

Allison grinned back. “So, we’re okay?”

“We’re more than okay.” I tried to lean up so I could kiss her, but her hand on my shoulder stopped me. “What?”

“Since we’re clearing the air, are you ready to tell me who Ashley was?”

I smirked at her, surprised she was still dwelling on that. “You really care that much about some woman you heard me talking to once several years ago?”

“Humor me.”

“It wasn’t Ashley. It was Ashlyn.”

Allison’s face crumpled into a puzzled frown. “What?”

“Ashlyn. That was the name you heard me say.”

Allison appeared surprised, but then her expression became guarded. “Yeah. That’s it. Ashlyn.” A pause. “So you remember.”

“I do.”

“And you admit you told her you loved her?”

I nodded. “Oh, yes. I told her I loved her. I told her again earlier today when I saw her. And I’ll probably tell her again tomorrow. I’ll always love her. And she’ll always love me. I can’t imagine any situation on earth that could change that.”

Okay, I was teasing her now, being immature and probably a little spiteful. Sadly, I’m not always the bigger person I strive to be.

Allison looked as if she couldn’t decide whether she wanted to murder me or burst into tears, whether she was triumphant because she’d been right or devastated for the same reason.

“I was talking to my sister.”

Allison’s expression now was puzzled. “Your sister?”

“Yup.”

“Your sister’s name is Rory.”

“Rory’s what I call her. It isn’t her name any more than Ryan’s mine.”

Allison continued to gape at me, obviously mystified.

“Her given name is Ashlyn Aurora. We’ve always called her Rory for short. But when she was going through med school and starting her career, it was easier to use her given name than explain the nickname. The day you overheard me, she’d called me from the OR because she needed to cancel our dinner plans for the evening. She’d had one of the nurses dial for her and put me on speakerphone, and when I picked up, the nurse told me who she was and said she’d called on behalf of my sister Ashlyn.”

It wasn’t until I’d seen Rory a few days before in her white lab coat with her name embroidered on the breast that it’d clicked with me what Allison had overheard that day. And when I’d finally realized who she’d been talking about, I was amazed I hadn’t reached that conclusion sooner. “What you heard was me teasing my sister. I’d never called her Ashlyn before, and I haven’t since.” I called her Asha occasionally—a holdover from when we were kids and more or less had our own special twin language—but only rarely and when we were alone.

“You were really talking to your sister?” A fragile hope had begun to bloom in Allison’s eyes.

“Yup.”

The optimism flickered. She clearly wasn’t ready to relinquish the belief she’d held so steadfastly for years. “But what about Meaghan’s reaction? I heard her say she thought you two were adorable together.”

I shrugged and smiled. “We are.”

Allison shot me a dirty look.

I laughed. “Well, look at me! Hell, I’m adorable all on my own. How could we not be together? We are identical, after all.”

That comment earned me an even darker look and an eye roll. I did some damage control with a serious answer. “Meaghan isn’t close to her older brothers, and I think sometimes she envies my relationship with Rory.” I paused, reflecting on my bond with my twin. “She’s my best friend.” I may or may not have said that last part out loud, but I didn’t suppose it mattered.

Allison looked thoughtful yet a little bitter. “You were talking to your sister.” Her voice was quiet.

I didn’t reply as it didn’t really seem like a question.

“I feel like an idiot,” Allison admitted after a time.

“Why?”

As she brushed her hair back off her shoulders, her hand shook slightly. She hesitated again, as though she wasn’t sure she wanted to continue the conversation. “I’ve spent years thinking that…that you just got over me. Like what we’d had was easy for you to leave behind. Like it hadn’t mattered.”

I took her hand and threaded our fingers together. “Allison, whether I wanted it to or not, it always mattered.”

Allison’s body sagged, all her tension leaving her, and she brought my hand up to rest over her heart and cradled it in both of hers. “I love you, Ryan.” Allison’s voice was low, barely a whisper, but her words hit me as hard as if she’d shouted them. “And I plan to spend as long as you’ll let me showing you exactly how much.”

My heart began to pound out of control, and my head spun. And as she leaned in to brush her lips against mine, I couldn’t help but smile. I’d deal with Lucia’s death and finding her killer later. Right now I just wanted to enjoy this moment with the woman I loved.