Actual Stop (Agent O’Connor #1)(60)

So here we were again, in a setting so familiar that pangs of the old anxiety were tying my nerve endings in knots and making me regret that I’d ever agreed to come. Why had I thought this would be a good idea? I hadn’t known what to do years ago. What made me think I’d have a better clue now?

Allison rested one of her hands on my forearm. The sparks her touch inflamed in me lit a path straight to the most sensitive points of my body, and I stifled a gasp. Confused by her action and my own reaction, I looked into her eyes, hoping for answers.

“Relax,” she told me softly. She squeezed my arm before letting go.

My thoughts reeled. I hadn’t meant for her to see how uneasy I was. “You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”

“That mind-reading thing. I told you before, it’s creepy.”

Allison chuckled. “Well, you’re not that hard to read.”

I sighed, mildly irritated. “For everyone?”

Allison shook her head. “I don’t think so. Just for the select few fortunate enough to know you well.”

Time to deflect. “Oh. And you think you know me well, do you?” I cocked my head to one side playfully.

“Well enough to know what you’re thinking about right now.”

“Oh, yeah? And what’s that?”

“Do I really have to say it?”

I scoffed. “You can’t because you don’t know.”

Allison leaned in so her lips pressed right up against my ear, making me shiver. “You were thinking about kissing me.” Her tone radiated confidence.

My jaw dropped. That was the first time she’d acknowledged my attraction to her since before we’d split up. I hadn’t expected that. It also hadn’t been remotely close to what I’d been thinking.

“I was not!” My protest was a little shrill as I tried to come up with a way to convince her she was wrong. My face was on fire.

Allison’s lips quirked in a barely contained grin, and her eyes sparkled. “You are now, though, aren’t you?” She blew me a playful kiss and sauntered over to the bar, putting a little extra sway into her hips as she walked.

Game. Set. Match.

Once I’d finally recovered, I let my own lips stretch into a grin. Ooh, she was so bad. She was also right, damn it all. Now that she’d brought it up, I was thinking about kissing her, as well as a host of other things, all of which involved my lips and her body in varying stages of undress.

Okay, I was still incredibly attracted to her. I might not have wanted to be, but facts were facts, and I needed to face them. With one offhanded quip, she could still light a fire in me that threatened to rage unchecked until I was reduced to embers.

I’d been fighting that realization for several days now. Despite the few fleeting looks and brief touches, I’d been convinced she saw me only as a coworker and former lover. And it’d seemed pointless to dwell on something that would never come to pass.

Now, however, I wasn’t so sure. Most people didn’t say things like that to people they weren’t drawn to. Well, not unless they got off on making people want them for mere sport. Which I knew Allison didn’t. So, part of her must still desire me. My heart stuttered, and I looked at her with new eyes as she headed back my way with another round.

Granted, the timing could’ve been better. I was literally just coming out of…well, something, but she knew the score there. I certainly hadn’t hidden the situation. Besides, wanting to go to bed and wanting to rekindle a romance were two different desires entirely. One didn’t necessarily lead to the other.

How would I feel about that? If she and I were to fall into bed tonight—not that I was expecting us to—could I be content with just sex? Would I be able to handle making love to her, only to have her walk back out of my life? And what if she wanted to stay? Did I even want to go down that road with her again? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t trust her not to shatter me once more.

“Thinking about kissing me isn’t supposed to make you all broody.” Allison handed me another water.

I blinked and shook my head, then accepted the offered drink and took a long swallow. I glanced around. It wasn’t like her to be so open with these types of discussions when coworkers were lurking nearby. “It’s not that.”

She took a sip of her own drink, her face serious. “What’s got you so tied up in knots, then?”

I studied her for a moment, attempting to decipher the meaning behind her actions and each of the words she’d uttered from her first appearance in my office until now. It didn’t work. I was still completely clueless, which drove me crazy.

Maybe it was the alcohol, which was probably a contributing factor. Or perhaps my poor brain had gone into shock and shut down from all the emotional ups and downs I’d endured lately. Maybe my war-torn heart had thrown up its figurative little hands and decided it wanted out of my decision-making process entirely. Or maybe all three. But that was—oh, screw it. For tonight at least, I was through thinking.

“I was contemplating other things besides kissing.”

“What other things?” The hint of passion swirling behind Allison’s gaze belied her tone of forced innocence.

“You’re a smart girl. I think you can figure that out on your own.”

When she didn’t reply, I fixed her with a long look, not hiding my desire, guessing I had nothing to lose. She stared at me for a long moment, and I tensed in anticipation as I awaited her reaction. The sensation was reminiscent of the moment when the roller coaster’s reached the top of that first climb and slowly starts to creep over the precipice of that initial huge drop. I was one giant ball of raw nerves and slithering organs.