A Shadow Bright and Burning (Kingdom on Fire #1)(104)

“End it?” As though Rook were some rabid animal to be taken into the yard and shot. I grabbed hold of his paw. “You and I will work together. I don’t care what it takes, we’re going to stop this transformation. No one else can know.”

“You’re asking me to put us all in danger.”

“I’m asking you not to give up on him so soon,” I said, my voice shaking with desperation.

Fenswick considered this, removing himself from my grasp. “He’s a good boy. I would hate to destroy him. But if he cannot be brought back,” he warned, “if his suffering grows too great, I’ll tell the Order, and they will end his pain.”

“Agreed,” I whispered. “But first we try.” I wanted to fall to my knees. Not this. Not more pain, and not now. “I wonder if you might clear the boys out, doctor. I’d like to stay with him awhile.”

“Naturally.” Fenswick waddled in, yelling, and a moment later shepherded everyone from the room. Lambe carried him out, petting his right ear.

Rook seemed so small in the bed. Alone, I sat beside him again.



“Are you well, Nettie?” He smiled. He didn’t know. He wouldn’t know.

“Yes.” I sounded strange, even to myself.

Rook said, in a more subdued tone, “When I’m healed, I plan to leave this place.”

I startled. “What? Why?”

“You don’t need me. You’ve great new work to do, and…new friends. I’ll hold you back. I can find work—”

“You have to stay with me, Rook. Please.” Tears spilled down my cheeks.

“It’s not proper.”

“Who’s to say what is proper? I already live outside of society’s good opinion. How much more damage can this possibly do?”

He laughed. It looked as if he wanted to agree, but then he said, “You have Mr. Magnus—”

“Magnus means nothing to me, not in that way.” My voice almost failed. “You are the most important person in my life, and you’ve always been. Please don’t ever leave.” He placed my hand over his chest, so that I could feel his heart, a soft and steady beat against my palm.

“I won’t go if you don’t want me to.”

Not tonight, not tomorrow, not a year or twenty or fifty years from now. My shoulders shook. Why should love be so painful?

“You know I’d hate to ever leave your side,” I said.

“As you wish, Henrietta,” he murmured. I leaned my forehead against his. His breath caught, and we drew nearer…until the darkness at the corners of the room began to close in around us. Instinctively, I flinched. The shadows vanished. “I’m sorry,” he sighed. “It always seems to get in the way.”



“Yes.” I wore a false smile. In his eyes, I recognized the change I’d noted before. The irises were pure black. No blue at all. There are subtle differences now, in the eyes….

Someone cleared his throat. Magnus watched from the doorway. “They sent me to tell you there’s a messenger. The queen has summoned you. It doesn’t look dangerous.” He appeared to have heard everything. I didn’t care about that. At least, I couldn’t. Not anymore.

“Thank you. I’d like to wash up, but afterward I’ll go directly.” I squeezed Rook’s hand and left the room, brushing past Magnus on my way out the door. A moment later, I heard his footsteps behind me. He looked determined.

“What is it?”

“Howel, you don’t understand—”

“Yes, I do. You came back for me when most others would have left me to rot. You’re my dear friend, as you’ll always be.” I emphasized the word friend. I held out my hand to him, praying it remained steady. “I hope you’ll invite me to your wedding. I want you to be the brother I never had.”

I already regretted this. That didn’t make it any less right.

He stared at my hand for a moment, as if he didn’t know what on earth it was. Slowly, he took and kissed it. “I’d be honored to be that close to you, Howel.”



“Thank you,” I said. He held on for too long. Then he kissed my hand again. That tingling warmth spread throughout my body. I wanted…

No. This had to stop. I tried to politely slip away, but he held on. There was a determined look in his eyes.

“I can’t,” he whispered. “I can’t let you go.”

“You will.” I yanked out of his grasp. “Or we won’t see each other again.” I walked off, feeling sick to the core of my being. If he felt half as awful as I in that moment, he was sorry enough.

—

THERE WAS NO FANFARE, ONLY A servant who led me down dark halls to a large room. My heart was pounding despite my best efforts to remain calm. After all, if the queen wanted me dead, she wouldn’t have allowed me to have Blackwood and Fenswick as escorts, though they’d been instructed to remain in the front parlor. I just hoped I’d got all the soot off me.

I was shown into a small receiving chamber. On the far side of the room, Queen Victoria sat in a chair before the fireplace, her dog in her lap. She looked very small and young now that she had removed her jewels. She smiled when I entered.

“Sit, Miss Howel.” I did. “We…that is, I know what you’ve done tonight.”