A Lover's Lament(103)

“I think I’m pregnant.” I have absolutely no control over my mouth today and the words fall out before I give them permission.

For the second time in less than five minutes, I watch Maggie spew something all over my kitchen table—only this time it isn’t soda, it’s her cinnamon roll. “WHAT? What do you mean you think you’re pregnant?”

“I mean, I haven’t had my period and I never miss my period … ever.”

“But you’re on birth control, right?”

“Yes! That’s what I don’t understand. My periods have been regular since starting it years ago, so there’s no other explanation.”

Maggie’s mouth opens and then shuts as she absorbs what I’m saying. “Okay, there could easily be another explanation.”

“And what exactly would that be?”

“I don’t know! I’m still thinking …” She rubs a hand over her head and looks down for several beats before looking up again. “Do your boobs hurt? Do you feel sick? Did you take a test? You should take a test.” Her questions come out too fast, and I have to think about my answers for a second before responding.

“Yes. No. Kind of.”

Maggie’s brows furrow as she presumably lines up my answers to her questions. “What do you mean kind of? You either took a test or you didn’t. It’s a yes or no answer.”

“I didn’t pee on a stick, if that’s what you’re asking. But I called Dr. Bray’s office and they told me to stop the birth control and come in for a blood test, which I did first thing this morning.”

“Annnnd …” Maggie is watching me, eyes wide, waiting for an answer that’s going to disappoint her.

“They’re supposed to call me this afternoon.” As if right on cue, my phone rings, and Maggie and I both stare at it.

“Answer it,” she says, shoving it in my direction.

“What if I’m pregnant?”

“You won’t know if you don’t answer the damn phone.” Maggie snags my cell from the table and flips it open. “Hello … yes, she’s right here.”

She hands me the phone and I slowly bring it to my ear. My heart is hammering inside my chest, and blood is rushing past my ears so fast that I’m a little worried I won’t even hear her … in fact, I might very well pass out.

“Hello?” My voice cracks and I swallow hard.

“Hi, Katie, it’s Stephanie from Dr. Bray’s office. Is this a good time?”

Well, that depends on what you have to tell me. “Yes. Did you get my results back?” That was fast, I think to myself. I suck in a breath, waiting for her answer, and when I hear the words “Congratulations, you’re pregnant” float through the line, I nearly drop the phone.

“I—I don’t understand,” I stammer. “How did this happen?” I shake my head, realizing how stupid that sounds. “Of course I know how it happened, but I was on birth control … and I know it isn’t always effective but … wow … okay … I’m pregnant.”

“It’s a lot to take in, and yes, these things happen. But Dr. Bray said to call her if you have any questions at all.”

Okay… I nod to myself. I can do this … we can do this. “Wait!” I blurt. “I know this sounds stupid, and I’m a nurse and should probably know, but up until yesterday, I’d been taking the birth control. Will that affect the baby?”

“It’s not a stupid question,” she says before easing my mind. “You and the baby should both be fine, but Dr. Bray wants you to come back into the office for a checkup in two weeks.”

My mind drifts toward Devin, and whatever else she was saying falls to the wayside. What will he think about this? Will he be excited? We just got back together … will he be ready for a baby?

Am I ready for a baby?

“You don’t have a choice.” Maggie snaps the phone shut and I look up. “Don’t worry,” she says, “you went off into la la land, so I took the phone and wrote everything else down.”

“Thank you,” I whisper. Looking down, I stare at my still flat stomach and touch it gently.

There’s a life growing inside there.

A tiny little life that is half Devin and half me.

Tears well up in my eyes. “I’m having a baby,” I say, nearly choking on the words. “I’m going to be a mother.”

Maggie’s arms wrap around me. “You are going to be the best damn mother.”

“You think?” I ask, turning to her with a tremulous smile.

“I know it. Congratulations, mama. Now you just have to tell the daddy … and just so I’m on the right page, the daddy is Devin, right?”

“Yes!” I half shriek and half laugh as I slap her across the arm.

“Okay,” she says, holding her hands up in the air. “I had to check. I mean, I figured, but you never mentioned Devin forgetting to shield the dragon.”

“Shield the dragon? Where in the hell do you come up with this stuff?”

“Never mind,” she says, rolling her eyes. “So, I need to know when you’re telling Devin and when you’re telling your mom, because this is going to be a really hard secret to keep.”