A Little Wicked (The Bewitching Hour Book #4)(39)

She’d only been in hell for a few moments and she’d nearly had a heart attack in fright. He’d been there for weeks. She shouldn’t feel guilty. She wouldn’t feel guilty.

He deserved everything he got. He’d hurt so many people. He’d killed so many people. And Claire couldn’t forget what he’d done to her. He was the one who had found her and pointed her out to Tommy Collins in the first place. Even though Heather let it slip that he’d tried to keep her safe in the end, that didn’t make him a good person.

He was a bad person who liked her. And how should she feel about a sociopath developing feelings for her? She’d used those feelings against him too. She knew that when she grabbed his arm he’d be too shocked to do anything, and then by the time she’d used her powers on him, it would be too late for him to fight.

It wasn’t as if she’d shot him once and been done with it. She’d stared him right in the eyes as the light had filtered out and suddenly he was just the husk of a man in front of her.

Why couldn’t that be it? She was hardly the first person to kill in self-defense or defense of others. But somehow he wouldn’t leave her alone.

Claire sat up in bed. This was ridiculous. She was never going to fall asleep, and trying to was proving to be an exercise in futility.

“Hello, Claire,” said a smooth voice from the shadows.

Claire jumped off the bed. The blankets crumpled to the floor around her as she stared into the shadows, trying to make out the intruder.

A second later, Claudia stepped into the dim light filtering in through the window. Claire felt utterly underdressed in her tank top and panties, but somehow the idea of reaching for a blanket to cover herself seemed like an admission of weakness, so she remained where she was as she faced Sam’s grandmother.

It made her feel better to think of Claudia as her friend’s grandmother. If she thought of Claudia as the head of all witches or one of the most dangerous people in the world or as one of the people who helped kill all other soul suckers, it was just too terrifying to deal with. “Knocking is considered polite,” said Claire, trying to keep any tremors of fear out of her voice.

“What I wanted to talk to you about is best discussed in private.” Claudia took a few steps forward until she could sit down on the bed.

Claire shifted her weight and looked down at Claudia. In the few brief meetings she’d had with the woman, she rarely went on a lower level than others in the room. She didn’t know whether it was an intentional show of power or maybe Claudia just subconsciously projected dominance wherever she went.

Claire wanted to ask what Claudia wanted to talk about, but she already knew. What else would cause her to sneak in to speak to Claire alone? “You want me to go after Abigail.”

Claudia was quiet for a moment before she answered. “I want the darkness to stop hurting people,” she said finally. “Isn’t that what you want too?”

She didn’t know how to respond. She didn’t want anyone else to get hurt, but she also knew that she would die if she faced Abigail, and that possibility was just.... She couldn’t. “I don’t want the people I care about to suffer anymore,” she said honestly. Maybe if it was just strangers, she could separate herself from the situation. Maybe then she could let everyone else go to hell and live her life the way she wanted. With the perfect boyfriend, best friends, and a dead-end job like other millennials. Because didn’t she deserve something? Ever since her magic manifested in front of her family, things had gone to hell for her. They might’ve been her adoptive family, but until that moment, they hadn’t felt that way. It was her mother and father and younger sister. They were the ones who looked at her as if she’d grown horns and a tail. They were the ones who turned their backs on her.

Now that she finally found where she truly belonged, was she going to have to give up everything again? But Claire couldn’t ask Claudia such existential questions. Instead, she kept to the more practical. “The place I went to, the place I saw Jackson.... Will I go there after I kill the darkness?”

Claudia looked at Claire with a look of pity that was much more gutting than anything she could’ve said. “I wish I knew,” said Claudia.

Claire sat on the bed, facing away from Claudia. She didn’t want to cry and she squeezed her eyes shut tightly, forbidding any tears from escaping. Not now. Not in front of this woman. After a few seconds, she regained control of her emotions. “What do I need to do?”

“If you say good-bye, they’ll try to stop you.”

It should upset her, but it didn’t. She didn’t want any tearful good-byes or fights about what she should do. Sam and Derek had already saved her too many times. And this was an enemy that they couldn’t beat.

And Dante.... She couldn’t let him die for her. She knew he would. He barely knew her, but somehow she had inspired him to be so loyal and decent when she was barely there for him at all. He deserved so much more than her. He deserved someone who could love him back. Someone who wasn’t consumed by visions of a monster who should be long gone.

Claire didn’t say anything as she got up and found some jeans and sneakers. She looked around, thinking what else she needed. Bra. She didn’t want to die without a bra. Claudia looked away as Claire finished getting dressed and pulled her hair back in a ponytail. After that, she was done. She didn’t want to go through any tearful good-byes, but she decided to take her phone. Just because she didn’t want to say good-bye didn’t mean she needed to scare the crap out of them by disappearing.