A Little Wicked (The Bewitching Hour Book #4)(38)
“Okay, really, what are we doing?” she asked once they were a few blocks away.
“We are going for a walk.”
“I can see that. Are we walking anywhere in particular? Or is this your version of romance?”
Derek stopped and looked at her. “Take a breath.”
She breathed in deeply through her nose and was grateful that they were in a cleaner part of the city. It smelled like concrete and night. “Okay,” she said skeptically.
“Now look around you.”
She glanced up at the apartment buildings around them. A lot of the lights were off, but a few were on and glittering, offering a soft glow in addition to the street lights.
“There are thousands of people around us right now. We feel alone, but here, in this city, you’re never really alone.”
“What are we doing?” She continued to look around. Even though she knew how populated the city was, it was strange to have him say it like that.
“When I first became a detective, it wasn’t what I thought it would be. I wanted to save lives and help people. But the people I was helping weren’t always the good guys. And the bad guys didn’t always walk away in handcuffs. So when I couldn’t figure out why I was doing this crap any more, I’d come out here. Because for every scumbag who gets away or every fight I lose, I have to remember that the world I see on the day-to-day basis isn’t the real world. The real world is behind those doors. The people who don’t cause any trouble. The civilians who get caught in the middle. The people who can’t go for a peaceful walk at three a.m. because they think they’re going to die. They need people like us. People willing to get uncomfortable and deal with the bottom-feeders.”
He fell quiet for a moment as he glanced around them at the street. “For a while, I felt guilty for feeling this way. I’d worked so damn hard to get promoted to detective and now that I had it, I wasn’t going to be one of those pussies who couldn’t cut it.”
She let out a snort. “I can’t imagine anyone ever accusing you of being that.” The feminist side of her hated using the word pussy as an insult, but she had a feeling the rough and tumble cops he worked with didn’t share the same concerns.
“The point is, it’s okay to feel unsure. It’s okay to feel afraid. But as long as you remember what you’re working for, and who you’re working for, it gets better.”
“You’re too good for me.” She glanced up, trying to imagine all the people around them like he was saying.
“I’m not just doing this for me. I’m doing it for Joe.”
She remembered the story of the brother who had gone off to fight for the country and died. A reminder that life wasn’t fair and not everyone got a happy ending.
Maybe people like her and Derek weren’t meant for happily ever after. Maybe things would never slow down enough for them to have a normal date at an Italian restaurant. Maybe they’d never have the two point five kids running around their feet with a loving grandmother to watch over them while she and Derek stole a few minutes together.
Sam didn’t know why that thought made her sad. She’d never had a normal life. Even as a child, her father had died much too young. And then after her powers activated, she’d lived in fear of hurting someone. Until she actually had hurt someone. From the minute those poor people had died because of her, she should’ve known she wouldn’t get to ride off into the sunset.
But then she looked back to Derek. He was so strong and sure of his place in the world. He was so willing to face the darkness. Not just the magic working its way through her family, but the darkness in humans’ hearts as well.
Sam couldn’t help herself as she closed the distance between them and kissed him. It wasn’t soft or gentle, but she kissed him with every fiber of her being. This self-sacrificing man deserved so much more than she had to offer.
But, damn it, while he was around, she was going to work her hardest to give him everything he deserved. “I love you,” she breathed against his lips.
His hands went to the small of her back and he held her close. “Sam,” he breathed. “You’re everything for me. You know that, right? I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but you’re everything in mine. And that’s never going to change. You’re it.”
Sam squeezed her eyes shut and a tear rolled over her cheek. She didn’t know whether it was from happiness or guilt, but it didn’t matter. Because Derek was there and hers and for that moment, she couldn’t ask for anything more.
She didn’t apologize any more. She didn’t ask for his forgiveness. She just kissed him again, taking her time and tasting him, not worrying that they were in the middle of the sidewalk or that the entire world could be fracturing apart around them.
In this moment, she had everything she ever wanted. Derek could think about all the innocent people he was protecting in his dark moments, but in hers, she’d have this one minute of perfection.
––––––––
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Claire tossed the covers off her and stared angrily at the ceiling as though it were at fault for her insomnia. She snorted and forced herself to turn her face away. This wasn’t the ceiling’s fault.
It was Jackson. It had been bad enough when she was imagining him everywhere she turned. But that hellhound venom had done more than inspire a vision. She’d actually seen him. She’d seen exactly where she’d sent him.