A Kiss of Fire (A Kiss of Magic #2)(89)

Ariana felt her heart stop in her chest. Her breathing froze. She couldn’t possibly mean…?

It was possible, she realized with dread. While in Kilt she had not had access to her usual methods of preventing conception. She could very easily be carrying Sin’s child.

Oh no! That would make everything so much worse than it already was! Perhaps the public could accept a bastard child, but the bastard child of such a hated man? Her child would grow up vilified. She did not want that. She could not have that.

That meant one of two things must be done. She must either marry and have someone claim Sin’s child as their own…or she could rid herself of the child by contacting a midwife who knew how to do such things.

Both choices made her sick. She could not stomach the idea of marrying anyone…and the thought of destroying a child of Sin’s was horrific.

There was a third option. She could give birth to the child then let it live its life in Kilt where it would not be so hated. It would be heir to a great kingdom if it was a male child…and if it was a female it would be doted on by its father. Sin would love a girl just as much as he would love a boy.

But that would mean living apart from her child for all the rest of her days. Letting a child grow up without a mother…unless Sin married another and that woman took the child in as her own.

Again there was that white-hot flare of jealousy. Another woman in Sin’s arms? Another woman raising her child? It was not to be borne. It could not be tolerated.

Yet she had no rights to Sin. No right to keep him from finding another woman. She had no rights at all.

“No. It is merely stress,” Ariana said aloud for Mariah. “My cycle is sensitive to the stresses in my life.”

Mariah looked dubious but instead she said, “You must be right.”

They both knew that no amount of kidding themselves would work if indeed it were true.

Ariana got to her feet after a minute and with Mariah’s help made it to her dressing room. She sat before her vanity and looked at herself in the mirror. Her hair was wet, the curls lying lankly against her chest and collarbone. Her face was pale and thin, her eyes looking too large for her head. She felt awkward in her own body and now that the idea of being pregnant had entered her head, she couldn’t think of anything else.

She kept thinking about how wonderful it would be to carry and then hold Sin’s child. She had never had the urge to be a mother before this, so the desire took her by surprise. Then it began to make an incredible impact on her that it wasn’t just any child that was inspiring her. It was Sin’s child. The baby they had created out of their…love? Was it love? Did she love Sin?

She couldn’t tell. She had never been in love before. Had never been driven to make choices based on feelings alone. She had always controlled her life with a cool, thoughtful head. She did not give in to passionate emotions.

But she had given in to her passion with Sin. He had made her see what it was they could have together. But she had turned her back on it. On him. Would he ever forgive her for that?

What did his forgiveness matter? she asked herself angrily. She would never see him again. Why should she care if he forgave her for leaving?

There was a sudden rapping at the door. Hurried and frantic. Mariah hurried to answer it and a page stepped inside the room.

“My lady, Triumvir Hittite and Triumvir Felone want to see you right away. There is a delegation from Kilt just arrived!”





Chapter Twenty-Five


Ariana leapt up out of her chair, then had to grip the edge of her vanity to steady herself as the room spun around her once more. She righted herself, swallowing down the nausea that followed hot on its heels.

“Is it him?” she demanded to know.

“Who?” the page asked dumbly.

“Is it Raja Sin?” she all but shouted at him.

“I-I don’t know my lady. I was just sent to tell you—“

“Go. Tell them I am on my way. I just need a minute.” This last she whispered to herself. The page left the room with all due haste and Mariah hurried to her side.

“I must get dressed. Quickly. Whatever gown is handy. No! Wait. The blue one. The midnight blue satin. Then come dress my hair. Quickly!”

Ariana had to sit down, her heart was thundering so hard in her chest. What was he doing coming to her like this? Felone and Hittite were well within their rights to see him taken captive and thrown in jail for his crimes against their leader. She did not want that. She had been unable to adequately described the progression she had gone through from captive to lover to Jutsin and Mason. All they knew was that she held no ill will toward Sin and she would not see their associations with Kilt tarnished by this one unfortunate incident. Trade and peace between them was paramount. She would not have Sin or the Kiltian people punished for what had been a very punishable offense.

Ariana arose from her seat only briefly to dress herself, then reseated herself so Mariah could put up her hair.

“Quickly!” she scolded the girl, her heart pounding loudly in her chest. She wanted to run to him. To fly down these halls and into his arms again. But she could not do that. She must maintain her decorum. She must see what it was that he wanted.

All she could think of was: Can he ever forgive me?

Mariah had barely tucked the last pin in her hair before she was up and hurrying down the hallway. The page had neglected to say where they were, but she suspected they would be in the capitol parlor, the room in which they entertained heads of state from all walks of life when not at a formal ball or dinner. She reached the doorway to the parlor, stopped herself and took a deep breath. Then, as gracefully and composed as she could be, she swept into the parlor.