A Kingpin Love Affair: The Complete series(50)

Without muttering a single word, I nodded my head yes. Heavy tears filled my eyes and fell, landing against my skin with a hard thud. In those tears, I felt as if the weight of the world had been dropped off my shoulders.

Alzerro stared at me, fury burning in his eyes before wrapping his arms around me. He was hugging me, trying to glue me back together, and I let him. I let him squeeze me tightly as if he could push all the pieces into their spots, and though I wanted to be healed, I knew that if I lost Jared, it would never happen.

“I’m so sorry, so f*cking sorry, Isabella.” We sat like this for what seemed liked minutes as he continued to comfort me.

I glanced over at Jared, lying in the bed on the other side of the room. All the things I had done for us to be here right now, he had to wake up. He had to because, if he didn’t, it would have all been for nothing.

“I think you should let the police know, and you should talk with a doctor about what you are feeling. You don’t want to keep that poison in. It will destroy you if you do…” Alzerro insisted as he spoke to me softly. I didn’t want to relive the moment that man shattered me over and over again or see the pity come across the doctor and policemen’s faces, so I held my ground as I shook my head no.

By the time he let me go, I had already crawled inside my head again. I could tell by the somber expression marring his face that my admission had affected him in some way. I watched him as he walked over to Jared’s bed, grabbing his hand in his own and squeezing it tight. After that, Alzerro sat with me a little bit longer before saying his goodbyes.

Nurses and doctors came in and out throughout the night, checking on both Jared and me even though I said I didn’t need anything. As time passed by, I found myself moving closer to Jared. I sat in my chair right next to his bed and closest to the window, watching the room grow dark. A calmness settled over me when the night sky appeared. It was as if I craved the darkness, as if I dwelled and lived in it.

The pain would follow me for the rest of my life, but nothing, and I do mean nothing, would kill me as much as losing Jared would. Those were the thoughts I replayed in my mind as tears rolled down my cheeks, and I held Jared’s hand in mine.

The moment I felt him squeeze my hand, I knew I wouldn’t dwell in darkness forever. I knew this pain was a temporary pain. And one day I would be whole again.

I would be me... again.





Chapter Twenty-Nine


Jared

They say you should always measure life based on the moments that take your breath away, and in my case, it was the most accurate thing I had ever heard. I had died. I had seen and felt heaven. Felt my mother’s kiss against my cheek and the love of my life being pulled away from me.

Nothing was as real as feeling—as physically feeling, someone else’s skin against yours. As realizing that you had so much more to live for. I felt her hand in mine, I felt the love and sadness seeping from her and pouring into me, begging me to just wake up.

“I’m breaking…” I heard her words and felt her heart ache. I could feel my arms tingling, my hands on fire as her hand warmed mine. I had to let her know I was here. That I was still inside. I forced energy into my body as I squeezed her hand. Her gasp filled the room, and I knew she had finally felt it. She had finally realized I was still here with her.

“You’re alive? You’re in there!” She cried, and I could practically feel the tears rolling down her cheeks. I smiled internally as I lay trapped inside, unable to feel any other part of my body. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and cradle her body against my own. Instead, I listened to her cries and pictured myself comforting her in my mind, hoping she could feel it from here.

I felt her body brush against mine as she reached over me. The movement caused my eyes to pop open. I tried to swallow, but something was in my throat as I felt my heart start to throb inside of my chest. I stared at her, tears painting her beautiful face as the machines blaring around us.

A minute later, a nurse entered my room, probing and checking me over while Isabella told her how she squeezed my hand, and I squeezed back. How not even a minute later my eyes were on her. “Don’t remove the tube on your own. I’m going to get your doctor!” The nurse’s voice lingered in the air as she disappeared out the door. The moment we were alone again, Isabella’s voice filled the room.

“I thought I had lost-t-t… I thought I had lost you. Thank you for coming back to me. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” Her lips pressed against my cheek. Her smell surrounded me, her body enveloping me in a mist of happiness. I had never felt so much emotion or passion in one kiss. I desperately wanted to speak, to allow everything I was feeling to flow from my mind.

When I thought she had been shot, I remember the feelings that coursed through me. I felt as if I had died myself, as if I were losing who I was as I watched her fall to the ground. But it wasn’t she who had been shot. It was me. It was I who was falling to the ground, who had been shot, who was dying.

My mother’s words cradled me as I fell from heaven.

“Remember who you are, Jared. Remember that the good always outshines the bad in people. No amount of darkness can smother the light.” Her tears were so real, her warm arms wrapping around me.

She was real, everything about her was.

“I watched you fall to the ground. I thought everything I had done might not have mattered...” Her voice halted as she tried to choke back her emotions.