A Fallow Heart (Tommy Creek #2)(41)

She clenched her teeth, bowed her head, and squeezed her eyes closed. “I’m not.”

“Christ.” His hand trailed up and down her arm where her skin had begun to prickle, his warm fingers chasing away the cold. “Your arms are freezing.”

And he was so warm. Soaking in his heat, she cowered closer, tucking her head just under his chin. She heaved in a gulp of air and absorbed the faint smell of leather and musk he radiated.

Sharing his body heat with her, he rubbed both her arms briskly. “Better?” he asked after a minute.

She nodded, too afraid to look up and too deliciously warm to move away.

“Good. Now repeat after me. Everything is going to be fine.”

She couldn’t help it; she smiled. “Everything is going to be fine,” she parroted into his chest.

“That’s more like it.” Humming out his appreciation, he hugged her tight, then eased his hold. “Why don’t we sit down?”

He immediately lowered himself without waiting for her response, and she found them going down with her settling on his lap. She should’ve been scandalized, but she was too afraid for Lexi, and too warm and grateful for his comfort to move.

Cozy and protected, she closed her eyes, relaxing against him as her mind traveled into the past.

“Thinking about your miscarriage?”

She zipped her gaze up to find soulful brown eyes watching her. When his gaze fell to her hand, she took her fingers away from her abdomen where she hadn’t realized she’d been rubbing small circles. Blushing madly, she tucked a lock of dark hair behind her ear.

“Just because it happened to you doesn’t mean it’ll happen to Lexi,” he said.

God, how did he keep reading her mind?

“I know. I just…it’s not going to stop me from worrying until we hear news otherwise.”

“Yeah. I don’t reckon it would.” He stroked her hair once then dropped his hand, looking regretful. “Do you ever wonder what she would’ve been like if she had survived? Your baby, I mean.”

Jo Ellen blinked and lifted her attention from his knee she was balancing on. The hard muscles under her bottom didn’t even budge. When their gazes met, she swallowed. “Why did you say she?”

His eyes flared and the tops of his cheeks flamed pink. Glancing away, he cleared his throat. “I don’t know. I just…I always imagined a miniature you. So whenever I think on it, I automatically slip in the feminine pronoun.” He looked embarrassed as he glanced away.

Her heart swelled as she confessed, “I always picture a little girl too.”

His attention swerved back to her, his brown eyes seeing too much.

She’d never told anyone that, and she sensed he knew it. After she had come home from losing her baby, none of her relatives had spoken of it, acting as if it had never happened. Well, Grady had acknowledged it in a roundabout way. After his wife, Amy, had a miscarriage, he’d called Jo Ellen and begged her to come visit.

“Please, she needs you. You’re the only one who understands what she’s going through.”

Amy had taken her baby’s loss badly and refused to talk to Grady afterward, refused to talk to anyone. Grady’s call had sounded so desperate Jo Ellen had immediately returned to Tommy Creek. She’d spent two days with Amy, sitting beside her. But her sister-in-law hadn’t talked to her either. So she’d gone back to Dallas. The next day, Grady called and thanked her, reporting how Amy had finally spoken to him.

It was so strange. The loss of an unborn child affected every woman different. Jo Ellen just hoped Alexa wouldn’t have to experience it for herself.

“I bet she would’ve had your dark hair and blue eyes,” Cooper mused. A wistful smile lit his full lips.

Jo Ellen grinned fondly as well. “Yeah.” She hoped so. Any reminder of Travis would’ve been—

“Do you think…” he hesitated, his brow furrowing as if he suddenly wasn’t sure if he should continue.

Jo Ellen opened her mouth to encourage him to keep talking. She liked wondering about what could’ve been. But Dexter darted into the room, making her gasp and fly to her feet.

Her face heating madly, she yelped, “Dexter!” and smoothed down the front of her shirt in a nervous gesture.

He paused, blinking at her then Cooper before he glanced around the waiting room. “Where’s everyone else?”

“Uh…Emma Leigh had to go home to feed Brand.” Jo Ellen waved her hands to encourage him on with his news. It was impossible to tell from his appearance and expression how things were. His clothes were wrinkled, hair a wild mess, and lines of exhaustion strained his face. “How’s…everyone?”

Dexter beamed, his features lighting with pride and excitement. “Lex is tired but doing great.”

Pressing her hands to her lips as her relief made her almost dizzy, she whispered, “And the baby,” but she already knew. He was okay. Thank God.

“Five pounds, two ounces,” Dex crowed. “His lungs aren’t quite fully developed yet, so they have him on a respirator. But other than that, he’s got all his fingers and toes and a head full of Lexi’s coppery hair.”

Happy tears pricked Jo Ellen’s lashes. “Can we see him?”

“Sure, just come to the window of the nursery. I’ll go make certain the shades are drawn up for you to look in.” He hurried off and Jo Ellen followed, distinctly noting how Cooper trailed along behind.