A Destiny of Dragons (Tales From Verania #2)(8)

“I’m not a prude. Do you know how many things Ryan has done to me? Like, seventeen things.”

“Name three,” Gary said rather gleefully as he pranced in place.

“Easily,” I said. “This one time, he put his toes in my—”

“That’s probably enough of that,” Ryan said.

I mimed the rest to Gary. It was the most accurate thing I’d ever done.

Gary squinted at me. “Are you pretending to eat a watermelon covered in peanut butter?”

“Close enough. I couldn’t walk straight for like three days.”

“I bet I could make it four,” Sir said as he leered at me.

“I like him,” Kevin announced. “We should all be sex friends and go on team-building retreats where none of us wear clothing and we all lay on top of each other.”

“Yep,” I said. “Time to go. This has just been lovely. Justin, will you be signing any contract or having any follow-up with Sir? I take it by the way you’re squeezing my hand to the point of excruciating pain, that’s a no. Sorry, Sir. Looks like the date was a bust. Next time, huh?”

“Or maybe,” Sir said slowly, “you owe me for wasting my time.” He glanced at Ryan. “He your bitch?”

“Oh, girl, that was a bad idea,” Gary muttered.

“I smash?” Tiggy growled.

“Kind of my bitch,” Ryan said.

“No shit,” Justin said.

“Ha,” Kevin said. “I knew it. That’s so hot.”

“Hey! Okay, I am, but that’s still rude. Or maybe I’m my own man, and I can speak for myself. Maybe I want to go with him.” I looked back at Sir. “I really don’t want to go with you. I’m just trying to prove a point.”

“Autonomy is very important,” Sir said. “Unless I take it from you and cover you with my semen.”

“You are the greatest man alive,” Kevin said. “Teach me all your secrets.”

“One day,” Ryan said, “we’re going to meet someone new who doesn’t want to capture and/or have sex with you.”

“I never did,” Gary said. “He’s a little too stringy for my tastes. Not enough meat on dem bones, if you know what I mean. Unicorns need a little more oomph since we’re such voracious lovers.”

“Stringy?” I gasped.

“It okay,” Tiggy said, reaching down and patting me roughly on the head. “I do you.”

“Aw. Really?”

“No.”

“Dammit.”

“I can’t comment on this,” Kevin said. “Given my position as his stepfather.”

“You’re not my—”

“I’d hit that so hard,” Kevin told Sir.

“This did not turn out how I thought it would,” I said.

“Does it ever?” Justin asked. “That was a legitimate question, by the way. Does anything ever turn out like you think it will?”

I nodded toward Ryan. “Locked that shit down, didn’t I?”

“Oh snap,” Tiggy said.

“Fist-bump me, babe,” I said to Ryan, holding out my hand.

“Yeah, I’m not going to do that,” Ryan said.

“Watch,” Gary whispered to Tiggy. “It’ll take five to ten seconds for him to give in. I’ve been teaching Sam how to unicorn.”

I widened my eyes as much as possible and fluttered my eyelashes. “But, I want you to. For me? Please?”

Ryan sighed and fist-bumped me.

“Works every time,” Gary said.

“I can hear you,” Ryan said. “You’re standing right next to me and not trying to hide the fact that you’re talking about me.”

“I thought we talked about how stalking me is wrong now that you’re in a monogamous relationship with one of my best friends,” Gary said. “Get a grip, Ryan. This obsession you have with me is going to ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“You talked about that,” Ryan reminded him. “Loudly and repeatedly. Once you woke me up at three in the morning by standing above me and breathing on my face, only to tell me to stop following you.”

“Maybe you should listen!”

“You were in my room.”

“I’ll find you true love,” I told Justin. “If it’s the last thing I do.”

“That feels like a threat,” he said slowly.

“A threat of love,” I agreed. “Now, I think it’s time we head back to the castle. I’m famished and I’m probably going to get yelled at by four or five different people for sneaking you out to meet with a leather daddy.”

“The castle?” Sir said.

“Oh, right,” I said. “Yeah, this is Justin, the Prince of Verania, that you just tried to violate with your existence. Good job.”

“Holy shit,” he said, paling considerably. “The Prince? That means—” He looked from Gary to Tiggy. From Kevin to Ryan. Then back to me. “That means you’re—”

I grinned at him. “Damn right. I’m Sam of Wilds, King’s Wizard.”

“Apprentice,” Gary coughed.