A Destiny of Dragons (Tales From Verania #2)(6)

The skin under his eye twitched.

“It’s okay,” I said. “I made you sound really good. If there’s one thing I’m good at, it’s bullshitting.”

Another twitch. Or maybe a more pronounced one. Like it was spreading.

“I’m serious! Look, I even cut it out and saved it, it was so good.” I reached into the pocket under my robes and pulled out the folded piece of paper. I handed it over to Justin, who just glared at me. I poked it against his hand. “Come on. Come on, take it. Take it.”

A man walked by the alley, staring at us with wide eyes.

I waved at him.

He walked away quickly.

Justin grabbed the paper from my hand and brought it up to his face. I didn’t need to see what it said. I’d already had the genius of it memorized.

Looking For Love!

M4M. In position of power, would like someone else to take charge. Me: 20s Attractive w/ resting bitch face. Intelligent, slightly evil, ambitious. People think I’m cold, but it’s really a front for a semisoft heart. I like rolling my eyes at wizards even though I secretly like them and think they’re pretty cool. I also like deviled eggs.

“I know so much about you,” I said helpfully.

You: Older? Maybe. Assertive attitude. Real go-getter. Takes what you want. Commanding, even. Must have eyebrows. Double jointed is a plus. No Darks or fairies named Dimitri.

Justin looked up at me slowly.

I smiled at him. “You’re welcome. Some of them got really porny, but I took the high road. One talked about splitting you like a—”

“And someone responded to this,” he said, voice strangely even.

“Yes! Well, actually, like a hundred people did, but I narrowed it down to the best one. And I’ve been sending notes back and forth posing as you so I could get a real sense of him. He seems like a nice guy. Maybe a little bossy, but I figured that’s something you can work on when you marry him. Also, for some reason, he likes to call you boy and expects to be obeyed at all times, but hey, just roll with it. Could be fun.”

“What part of you thought that this would be a good idea?”

“Most parts,” I said. “But that’s why I’m here. In case he turns out to be a raging psychopath—which I highly doubt because it seems like that’s something you’d have to put down in the ad—I’ll be there right by your side.”

He said nothing for a long time. My jaw hurt from smiling so much.

Finally, “So let me get this straight. You impersonated the Prince of Verania to set up a date for me by using a personal ad in the back of a magazine that I usually see lying in the gutters and covered with bird feces. And not only that, but someone responded to said ad and now I’m on my way to meet him. Where you will also be in attendance.”

“All the highlights,” I said, suitably impressed.

Lots of twitching going on.

“Also,” I said. “One more thing.” I reached into my robe in the inner pocket and pulled out two matching beards from my old Mervin days. “Disguises. So we won’t be recognized. If all goes well, then William will understand why you had to lie. Especially if it’s for love. Do you want to put this on or should—you know what. I’ll just do it. Just… hold still. You’re kind of tense. Like really, really tense. It’s not good for your back. And your hands are fists right now. So much tension. Sorry the beard is a little wet. And sticky. Tiggy spilled juice on it right before we left and I didn’t have time to clean it. Just gonna hold it on your face for a moment to make sure it sticks… annnnd done.”

He looked ridiculous.

“You look amazing,” I said. “William won’t know what hit him.”

I had the best ideas.




I HAD the worst ideas.

Not that they started out that way, mind you, but for some reason, they tended to devolve quickly and out of my control. Dragons, truth corn, getting gay fairy married, turning boys to stone, and asking an important wizard to not explode my nipples. I’d like to think I have the best intentions in mind, but I lose the thread partway through.

Like today, for example.

I wanted Justin to find love.

And thought what if I brought love to him?

Ergo, I put out a search for love.

And then bring him to love.

Foolproof, right?

Almost. Except for the fact that William seemed to be almost as big as Tiggy, wore an entire herd’s worth of leather, and made us call him Sir.

Justin and I sat side by side in the open-air café that William had suggested we meet at. (Though, if I was remembering correctly, he’d said negotiate rather than meet, but I had a lot going on at the time, so I couldn’t be faulted for not remembering every little detail.) I wore a beard similar to Justin’s, something that Sir hadn’t missed, given that he’d raised an eyebrow as we approached and said, “I’m down for twins.”

I should have known it was going to go downhill from there.

“Now, I understand you’re looking to be dominated,” Sir said.

Justin squeaked.

“Uhh,” I said. “I don’t think that’s quite what I—”

“Did I say you could speak, boy?” Sir asked sharply.

“No, Sir. Sorry, Sir.”