Zodiac (Zodiac, #1)(91)
I grab a roll from the bread basket beside him to avoid answering, just as Mathias pulls something from his pocket and places it on the table in front of me. “Happy birthday, Rho.”
The sight of the small green package fills me with nostalgia. Sugared seaweed. “Dad and I ate this all the time at home,” I whisper, choking back a wave of sadness so Mathias won’t know the pain his gift caused.
“It’s almost impossible to find off-planet,” he says. “I thought it’d be a welcome reminder of Cancer.”
“Thanks,” I say, pulling him into a hug, mostly to hide my face. But guilt twists my gut, and I pull away quickly. I didn’t even realize it was my birthday—that I was seventeen—when I woke up this morning.
We split the box of seaweed between us silently, and then he turns on the news. When Hysan comes in, I’m glad to see he’s wearing the gray coveralls again. We give each other shy nods, and I hope Mathias is too distracted to notice my awkward blush.
“Morning, my lady.” Before Hysan can say more, we hear the door to the suite clicking open.
Mathias grabs his weapon and slips through to the workspace, returning instantly with Lord Neith, whose stern eyes soften with affection when he sees Hysan. “Father,” he says, opening his arms.
I watch, entranced, as Hysan embraces the towering android. Neith pulls out a smart screen from his pocket and calls up some data to share with Hysan. The hologram’s reflected light glimmers across his perfect Kartex face and makes his white hair glisten.
While they work, I step onto the balcony and look over the railing. Far below, armored cars rove the streets like tiny beach beetles. Drab sunlight filters through the planet’s fabric sky, and the black wall ringing the village casts gray shadows.
Mathias joins me. “Bleak, isn’t it? I’ll be glad to leave this place.”
“Are you still planning to go to Gemini to live in an underground mine?”
“Our people are there.” His handsome features catch the sun’s dim rays, and I’m struck by his quiet poise, the way I was five years ago when I first saw him doing Yarrot. “I still believe in my heart that Cancer will recover.”
Then I admit something I didn’t expect to share: “I’ve known this whole time you’d make a better Guardian.”
Mathias looks at me long and hard before speaking. “At first, I couldn’t understand why they chose someone so young and . . . untrained.” He leans his broad chest against the railing, still absorbing me in his indigo gaze. “But those were the wrong things to focus on. Your talent is raw, but you have more discipline and determination than anyone I know.” His musical voice dips, like he’s embarrassed to be speaking so openly. “You’re an everlasting flame that can’t be put out.”
I used to wonder what he saw when he looked at me—a little girl or a grown woman. For too long, he made me feel like the former. And at best, something in between the two. But for the first time, Mathias’s words make me feel big instead of small.
“You’re also the bravest, kindest, and most selfless person I know,” he says, his expression lightening. When the lines fade from his face, he looks like he’s shed off years. “You’re pure Cancrian, through and through.”
Even as his words make my heart soar, the guilt eats away at my stomach. Just when I get Mathias’s respect, I’m no longer worthy of it. Hysan isn’t alone in keeping secrets anymore.
“Thank you, Mathias.” Guilt makes my gaze too heavy to meet his. “I hope that means you’re not going to fight me on going to find Ochus, or proof of his existence.”
When I sneak a glance, the lines on his face have resurfaced. “No one has ever come back from the Sufianic Clouds, Rho. The person behind all this—Ochus, as you call him—manipulates Psynergy in ways no Zodai ever has, or can even fathom. You’ve had less practice than most and don’t know your full strength yet.”
It’s the first time he’s said the name Ochus aloud, and even though it wasn’t an endorsement, at least he’s accepting the possibility. He’s showing me he’s trying. He wants me to meet him halfway.
Only I can’t. I’ve committed to this mission, and I have to see it through. “I’m going, Mathias. I’m just asking you not to try to stop me.”
“Then let’s at least consult Psy experts and learn as much as we can about how whoever’s doing this is doing this—how we can fight him before we act—”
“That’s a good idea,” I say, the pieces coming together in my mind to form a plan. “While Hysan and I get proof that Ochus is real, you and Sirna and the others can start gathering information on how we can use the Psy to defeat him. Then we can appeal to the other Guardians again, only this time we’ll have proof and a plan.”
He shakes his head and rubs his eyes, like I’m a hyperactive toddler who’s testing his patience. Like I’m once again small. “Rho, I don’t think you should travel there without more information. If you insist on going, we’ll need to consult the rest of your Advisors first.”
“If I’m an everlasting flame, why do you keep underestimating me?”
Hysan snickers behind us. “Classic.”
“What is?” growls Mathias.
“Prejudice of the old against the young.”