The Shadow House(27)

‘I think it’s all about boundaries,’ Layla said, ‘especially when it comes to screen time. Some parents just don’t know how to put them in place.’

I felt my palms start to sweat. Perhaps you could spend some of that time encouraging your son to talk about his feelings. The teenage brain is extremely vulnerable, especially during times of great change, and too much time spent online can be extremely harmful. Here, I have a print-out somewhere. Principal Tinsley had handed me a glossy leaflet entitled ‘Screen Addiction and Internet Safety’. I was tempted to throw it in his face. Instead, I went several steps further and withdrew Ollie from school. We’re leaving, I wrote in an email a few days later. How’s that for reflection?

‘Homeschooling is tough, but I think it’s worthwhile,’ Layla said, still watching me. ‘No peer pressure to worry about, right?’

I wanted to tell her, I really did. She wasn’t stupid; she knew I was holding back. But I needed friends, and I needed Pine Ridge. If Layla or anyone else found out what had happened at Ellenhurst, I might risk losing both.

‘Okay, ladies,’ said Mariko, returning from the kitchen with four glasses and a jug of something pink. ‘Summer is served.’

‘Oh my god.’ Layla laughed. ‘What is in that?’

Shannon grimaced. ‘Best not to ask. Alex, are you having one?’

I declined, knowing that day drinking on top of night drinking would be a terrible idea.

‘Ouch,’ said Mariko, pouring three glasses of pink stuff. ‘What happened to you last night?’

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well, it’s Saturday and you’re all clammy and trembly. Either you ate a bad kebab, or you had yourself some fun.’

‘Oh, did you go out?’ said Layla. ‘I haven’t been out in years. What’s it like these days? Tell me everything. The drinks, the food, the dancing. I need details.’

I laughed. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. We’re in the middle of nowhere, where would I go?’

‘Were there boys?’

‘Stop it.’

‘Or maybe just one particular boy?’ Shannon gave me a wink.

Mariko gasped and clapped her hands. ‘Oh no you didn’t!’ she squealed.

‘Didn’t what? What are you talking about?’

‘Don’t be coy.’ Shannon took a sip of her drink. ‘There’s something between you and Kit, isn’t there?’

‘What?’ I felt my cheeks flush with heat. ‘No!’

‘Oh, come on,’ said Layla, slyly. ‘That boy can’t keep his eyes off you.’

‘Dude, you’d better move on that shit,’ said Mariko. ‘He is so hot it hurts.’

I shook my head vigorously, while my heart did a secret cartwheel. ‘No, no, it was absolutely nothing like that at all. I just had a rough night. Couldn’t sleep. You know how it is.’ I nodded at Kara, who had grown bored of the saucepans and was now grabbing at my legs. I reached down and pulled her onto my lap.

‘Oh, I know it well,’ Layla said. ‘The girls killed sleep for me. They’re easy now they’re older, they don’t get up anymore, but I still struggle. I just lie awake worrying. I call it the night mind. You know, where you can’t switch off?’

‘Oh, yep.’ Mariko nodded hard. ‘You wait and wait for sleep to come but it never does, and your head is just like tickticktickticktick.’ She twirled a finger at her temple: an endlessly spinning cog.

‘But it’s not just normal worries,’ agreed Shannon. ‘Everything is so much worse at night. It’s like your brain mutates into something with teeth, and the littlest things become huge.’

‘Exactly,’ said Layla. ‘And it never goes away.’

‘Oh, don’t say that,’ wailed Mariko. ‘It has to get better! I was so sleep deprived earlier this year that one night I went to the bathroom, except it wasn’t the bathroom. I pulled down my undies in the living room and nearly weed on a chair.’

‘I once cried so hard after a bad night that our neighbours called an ambulance,’ said Layla lifting her glass as if in a toast. ‘They thought I was dying.’

‘So, what was the problem with the little madam anyway?’ said Shannon, jerking a thumb at Kara, who was reaching for the cheese. I pushed the platter out of her reach. ‘Is she teething?’

‘They’re always teething,’ said Mariko. ‘The teething never ends. Like, never.’

‘Actually, the problem wasn’t really baby-related.’ I hesitated, unsure how much to say. On the one hand, I felt like I could tell my new friends anything and they would understand. But. There was always a but.

‘I’ve just been having these bad dreams lately,’ I said. ‘And I know this sounds odd, but I keep hearing noises in the woods. Like, I don’t know, shouting or something? And then there was this kid on the road the other day …’ I trailed off and forced a laugh. ‘Look, you’ll probably think I’m out of my mind, but I have to ask: do you know anything about, um … a witch? In the woods?’

There was a pause. The girls exchanged a look. Then Layla sighed. ‘So you heard, huh?’

Shannon shook her head slowly. ‘I guess it was only a matter of time.’