The Shadow House(23)

A little later, though, as I stood with Shannon and Mariko at a workbench, cutting hessian sacks into strips to cover the newly turned beds, I found myself feeling restless. I couldn’t focus, and my eyes kept wandering around the room as if I’d lost something. At first, I couldn’t figure out the problem – I could see both my kids; my phone and keys were in the pram – but then I realised with a plummeting heart that my subconscious was looking for Kit. Somehow and without my knowing it, my attention had hitched itself to his movements. Even as I chatted and smiled and ate and worked, a small part of me was keeping track of where he was and what he was doing – and it seemed I wasn’t the only one.

Looking around, I began to understand just how central Kit was to the Pine Ridge community. As he moved through the greenhouse, people turned their heads towards him the way sunflowers chase the sun, especially the women. My stomach churned as I watched him chatting to Layla by the food table (big smile, firm eye contact, a hand that momentarily covered her whole shoulder), and the depth of my attraction hit me like a sack of wet sand.

Shit. I was doing it again: projecting my neediness onto the first person who made me feel special. But I wasn’t special at all; this was just the way Kit treated everyone. Or worse, the way he treated new arrivals. The attention he’d given me, the forest walk, it was probably all just part of the sell. We need the income, he’d said. And what were new residents if not that?

I decided it might be time to go. I laid my scissors on the workbench and looked down to where Kara had been playing at my feet just seconds before.

‘You okay?’ Mariko asked.

‘Yeah, I’m fine, I just …’ I ducked my head to look under the bench. She’d been right there, playing with a plastic pot. ‘Have you seen Kara?’

‘She went thataway,’ someone called merrily, pointing down the neat lines of earth with a gloved hand.

I looked and spotted the soles of my daughter’s chubby feet as she crawled slowly but steadily towards a row of freshly planted strawberries. ‘Whoops, thank you!’ I called back, giving chase. ‘Kara, stop!’ I reached her just as she grabbed one of the plants and pulled it right out of the ground. ‘No, honey, that’s not for you.’ She giggled as I brushed the dirt off her hands and knees.

‘Do you mind?’ said a harsh voice.

I turned, startled. It was the unfriendly woman with the horsey teeth, Maggie.

‘We only just put those in,’ she said.

‘I know, I’m so sorry. She’s just curious. I’ll put it back.’

The woman scowled at me. ‘No, leave it. Just keep your rug rats under control. It’s a greenhouse, not day care.’ Then, turning away, she muttered something that sounded a lot like ‘city princess’.

I bristled. ‘Excuse me?’

Maggie turned back and eyeballed me. ‘You people are all tourists. You swan in here, have yourselves a little holiday, but this is our life, our work. This land is special and ought to be treated as such.’

The confrontation was unexpected, and a hot flush of mortification crept up my neck. ‘Oh. Okay … sorry, I didn’t—’

And then Kit was at my side, bounding into the exchange like an overexcited puppy. ‘Hey, Alex, I see you met Maggie!’

In an instant, Maggie’s face transformed. The frown disappeared and was replaced by an adoring smile.

‘Maggie’s one of our very first Pine Ridgers,’ said Kit, wrapping an arm around the woman’s shoulders and giving her a squeeze. ‘A very important person to know. This place is as much hers as it is mine.’

‘Clearly,’ I said, flashing a fake smile. I did not like her.

‘I was just about to grab a bite,’ said Kit, turning to me. ‘Can I make you up a plate?’

I was hungry – I hadn’t eaten a decent meal in what felt like weeks – but Maggie’s comment had left a sour taste in my mouth. And I couldn’t quite shake my earlier thought: that maybe Kit was not quite as sincere as I’d first thought him to be.

‘No, thanks.’ I bounced Kara on my hip, not quite able to meet Kit’s eyes. ‘I should probably get this monster home.’

‘You sure? We’ve got homemade pizza.’

‘Really, I’m fine.’

‘Oh, you’ve got to try it, it’s amazing.’

I felt Maggie watching me. City princess. ‘I don’t like pizza,’ I lied.

‘Hold up,’ Kit grinned. ‘Say that again. You don’t like pizza? Are you crazy?’

My stomach churned. Stu’s voice. Have you lost your mind, Alex? Have you gone psycho? Calm the fuck down, you need to see a fucking doctor.

‘Not crazy,’ I said, trying to keep my voice level. ‘Just tired. Thanks for a lovely afternoon, Kit, you’ve all made me feel very welcome.’

I felt Maggie’s eyes burning into me all the way back to the road.





RENEE





9


‘This GoPro makes an awesome tech gift,’ said the perky young shop assistant, holding up something that looked like a smartphone dressed up as the Batmobile. ‘It only came out this year. It’s got everything from an improved lens and higher frame rate to a simpler interface and way more ports. Great for recording family holidays.’