Soul of Flame (Imdalind Series #4)(3)

“Ilyan,” I breathed out, my voice pleading as I whispered into the night. I clenched my fingers around his shirt as I pressed myself against him.

“It is not my time, my love,” he whispered as he caught my meaning, the pain at the words that I wasn’t sure he agreed with taking his voice away.

It is your time, Ilyan, I spoke into his mind as I pressed my lips against his neck, keeping my skin against his as his breathing caught. It always was. It always will be. I was just too dumb to see it.

His arms tightened around me as he fought against his resolve. Our hearts beat in unison as the chilled night breeze pulled at my hair. The strong wave of his affection flowed into me so quickly that it caught me off guard and I gasped shakily as his emotion grew, triggering my own.

“I have waited eight hundred years to hear you say such things. I thought I had understood the love I felt for you before, but until now, I didn’t fully know how amazing it was. I didn’t know how unworthy I would feel of it. I am lost to you,” Ilyan whispered, his voice breaking as tears threatened.

My breath caught in my chest. My soul was overcome by the strength of the love that my body absorbed from him. I just wished it was enough, enough for him to bond himself to me, to know that I felt it was right. It wasn’t though; not yet.

I wanted to tell Ilyan how being near him made me feel. I wanted him to know how clear my mind was. I just couldn’t find the words. I couldn’t form the thought to push it into his mind. My soul teetered on the edge of nothing as I waited for the words to come, as I tried to put voice to them.

“Say something,” he pleaded, his thumb gently caressing my cheek.

I love you, Ilyan, I whispered into his mind as I leaned against him, his arms coming up to wrap around me and keep me close.

“Say it aloud,” he whispered, his breath moving through my hair, the warmth sending a shiver down my spine.

“I love you, Ilyan,” I said, my voice strong and steady.

I had never felt so much certainty behind my words, so much honesty. I did more than just speak the words. I felt them.

I felt them down to the very tips of my toes. I felt them course through me. In many ways, the truth of them scared me, yet in others, they made me comfortable because they made me aware of who I was and what I was meant to do. They made me feel normal and loved.

They were love.

“I have waited my entire life to hold you in my arms in this way, to feel your lips against mine.” The whisper of his voice faltered as he moved away to look into me. “And now that you are here… I will hold you every night,” he vowed as he placed his lips against my forehead, his touch soft and hesitant, “and I will protect you every day,” his mouth ran over my skin, down the bridge of my nose, “in hopes that the day will come that I can bond myself to you and call you mine.”

His voice was so soft, it almost wasn’t there. I wasn’t even certain I had heard it before he kissed me again.





Two



“He’s fanning out.”

“At least the north side is still clear. We could make it to this cave in only hours if we went that way.”

The voices were loud in my ears as they pulled me out of the deep sleep I had been in seconds before. Anxiety tensed my shoulders together as I listened to the voices that were so close, alerting me to the danger I was in. My mind begged me to run from them, sure I was back in Cail’s tortured nightmares. But I lay still, trying to make sense of the voices enough to understand why they were here.

My hands wound around the soft warmth of the blankets that lay against my skin, the fabric pulling my mind away from the horrors. I had never had blankets in the T?uha that Cail had trapped me in. If only for that reason, I knew I was safe inside my own reality. I begged myself to believe it. Even with that knowledge, however, I couldn’t stop the panic from continuing to seep through me, rocking through my muscles until I shook.

I hated the way the terrors ran through me, the way they controlled me, became bigger than me. They hadn’t been this big last night when Ilyan had kissed me. They hadn’t ruled over me then. When I had kissed him.

I worked to regulate my breathing and brought the vivid memories of last night to mind, letting them swirl and flow through me as I fought against the agitation in order to become bigger than the fear Cail had instilled in me. I focused on the memories of Ilyan’s hands against my arms, the heat of his breath against my skin. The residual fears rippled through my muscles as the pleasant imagery chased them away, the sensation comfortable in my heavy, over-tired body.

I couldn’t have been asleep that long. My mind was still fuzzy; my lips still tinged with the sweet taste of Ilyan’s kiss. I could still feel the warmth of the bed where Ilyan had lain behind me, the heat fading from the fabric of the sheets as it evaporated into the cool, fall air.

“Yes, but if we have missed this one, then how many others are out there?” The rough edges of a vaguely familiar voice snapped me out of my revelry, threatening to pull my fears back into my already shredded nerve endings.

“Did you see any more? Were there any sights of what is to come?” Ilyan asked, his voice a powerful force as he commanded over the others in the room.

My body calmed at the sound of his voice. I wanted so much to open my eyes and see him standing just across from me—to let his presence take away the last of my agitation—but I was afraid. Afraid of who else was there; of seeing blood-soaked walls instead of smooth stone ones. So I kept my eyes closed, focusing on the pressure of the blanket as I tried to understand what was going on.