Riders (Riders, #1)(78)
He paused and the wind came up, rustling around us and filling the silence. “How’d I end up talking about me?”
“It’s okay. You were explaining your lifelong quest for attention, so it makes sense. All is forgiven.”
Bas laughed. “Exactly, dude,” he said. Then he slapped his hands on his legs and stood. “I need some chocolate.”
He headed back to the hut but I stayed out there for a while longer, filling my lungs with cool Norwegian air. Thinking about what he’d said.
I knew what my biggest failure was.
CHAPTER 47
The next morning I woke before the sun and did some recon around our hut. Our position was good, near fresh water, with great visibility, but I had to get lower in elevation to find a decent place where we could train. It took over half an hour of solid hiking to get down to the water, but I liked the grassy meadow that sloped gradually to the riverbank.
I took everyone there once they were awake, planning my approach as I wolfed down a granola bar on the trail. I was determined to start taking positive steps. It felt like the only way I could fight back against the images and the anger. Time to get stuff handled.
Reaching our new practice ground, I stepped out to the middle of the field as the others formed a circle around me. Steep granite slopes rose thousands of feet on either side of the river, framing us in and providing good concealment. High above, on a rocky projection that looked like an anvil, I could see part of the hut with the collapsed roof. Ours was behind it, just out of sight. Even if the Kindred had somehow tracked us to Norway, which I didn’t think they had, Alevar would have to do a direct flyover to see us in that fjord. I hoped we’d bought ourselves a little time.
“So, here’s how things stand,” I said. “Daryn’s waiting for drop-off instructions for the key, but we need to be ready if the Kindred track us down. That means we need to master our capabilities and our tools.” I went on, explaining how that would require that we each give our maximum effort. We had to make the most of what we had and work hard. The philosophy I’d learned in RASP was not to practice until you got things right. It was to practice until you couldn’t get them wrong.
As I spoke, my breath fogged in the cool morning. Bas nodded like, yes, yes, totally with you. Jode appeared to be filing everything I said away for future reference. Marcus crossed his arms and stared at the grass at his feet. Daryn listened, watching me with her steady eyes. Everyone was still here, still engaged-ish, and I wasn’t yelling or being overly sarcastic. Good start so far.
“Okay, let’s get this going,” I said. “First, we’ll get Jode outfitted with the bow, then go over some safety measures and work our way to doing drills.”
“Can’t we work with the horses first?” Jode asked. “I know how to ride.”
My immediate inner answer was, well, I don’t. With regard to that particular topic, I had decided I’d be a horseless horseman. I’d loved my armor during the few hours I’d worn it. I hadn’t battle-tested it yet, but my instincts told me Kevlar had nothing on it. And the sword was starting to grow on me, too. But I wasn’t excited about working with a creature that was essentially aggression in the form of fire.
“We’ll get to the horses,” I said. “Weapons first.”
“If you insist.”
“I do.”
Jode frowned. I could tell my answer had disappointed Bastian too—understandable, since Shadow was awesome—but I kept us moving along, turning to helping Jode call up his weapon. Marcus walked away almost immediately and sat against a tree along the trailhead. Daryn joined him a few minutes later, creating a nice, condensed visual focal point of distraction.
So, I was going to bust my ass while he sat around and talked to her?
Unbelievable.
An hour later, with both Bas and I taking turns providing instruction, Jode still couldn’t call up the bow. Daryn and Marcus chatted away over by the tree. Marcus was actually smiling.
“Again, Jode,” I said, rubbing my tired eyes. Last night had been another struggle. I’d tossed and turned on the hard floor in front of the fireplace. I just needed one night without seeing my mom standing over my grave. “Keep trying. You only fail if you quit.”
“That’s right,” Bas said. “When you fall off the horse, you need to just saddle it back up.”
I looked at him. “What if the saddle didn’t fall off? What if only you fell?”
“Speaking of horses,” Jode said.
“No horses. Go again.”
Another hour went by. Bas and I started to get punchy.
“Go to the light, Jode,” Bas said. “Your most precious inside light.”
“Just feeeeeeel it. Feel it like you mean it.”
Jode smirked. “I’m English. I don’t do anything by feeeel.”
We kept at it, but both Bas and I had exhausted our vocabulary for explaining how we reached our powers. We did it by tapping into a certain purity of intention. A will to do what was best, what was needed, what felt right. Part of it was control, and part of it was surrender. I’d been joking, but in a lot of ways it was like finding a particular thread of feeling. I couldn’t reach in and find it for him. He kind of had to work it out on his own. Finally, though, he did.
The instant the bow came up, his left arm shot straight out. “Now what?” he asked, his eyes flicking to me.