Queen (The Blackcoat Rebellion #3)(8)

He was on his feet in an instant, and he crossed the room faster than I’d seen him move since the battle. Grabbing my arm, he stared down at me, his skin hot against mine. I couldn’t remember the last time he’d willingly touched me, as if he were trying to deny that I really existed, and I told myself that was why I didn’t immediately pull away from him. Because it was nice to be acknowledged.

“You want to be more than a pawn?” he said. “Then be useful. Start figuring out how to keep the promises you’re making to the people. If you were still one of them, what would you want on the other side of this? What does thisideal world of yours really look like?”

I glared at him. “If you don’t know how to give the people their freedom, then why are we doing this in the first place?”

“Because people like you do,” he said. “I can win us this war, if you’ll let me. That’s my place in all of this. Yours could be so much more if you stopped fighting me all the time and started thinking of solutions.”

“Then stop pretending I’m incompetent and give me that chance,” I snapped.

“Stop acting incompetent, and I will.”

Yanking my arm from his grip, I muttered a curse under my breath and stormed out of the room, making my way out the front door and into the frigid winter air. The days when Knox and I saw eye to eye were clearly over, and never in my life had I been more aware of how easy it was to believe in the same principles, yet not be on the same team. I wanted to be on Knox’s team. I wanted to be on his team more than anything in the world right now, but he refused to let me.

Maybe Knox felt the same way about me. As I marched down the muddy main street of Elsewhere, past men and women dressed in orange and red jumpsuits, my gut twisted, rejecting the thought. I wasn’t completely unjustified, and after all, despite his many good qualities, Knox had never been the understanding or forgiving type. But from where he stood, I knew damn well I’d been a problem. Although Lila had copped an attitude, she had always done what he and Celia had told her to do, nearly losing her life as a reward for her cooperation. I was the one always questioning him. I was the one refusing to do what he told me to, because I was sure I had a better way, and he wouldn’t tell me why it wasn’t acceptable.

And though I’d listened to him upon occasion, I usually did what I wanted to do, never mind what he thought. Time and time again, throughout the months we’d known one another, I’d gone against his wishes. Most of the time, things had turned out all right, though he’d often had to scramble to fix whatever problems I’d caused in the process. But that was what our relationship was like: I caused problems, and he fixed them.

I paused in front of a burned-out shell of a building that used to be a bunk, the ruins black and charred. In all fairness, the problems I’d caused had paved the way for the progress the Blackcoats had made so far. I may not have been terribly obedient, but Knox always found a way to make the best of it, opening doors and finding opportunities we wouldn’t have had otherwise. Sending me to Elsewhere for my insubordination, as much as I still loathedhim for it, had given him a reason to come here and spy for the rebellion without raising suspicion.

We were already a team, I realized. A messed-up, dysfunctional team, but a team nonetheless. And that, ultimately, was why I couldn’t leave Elsewhere. If I joined Hannah in some cottage in the woods like Knox wanted me to, he would have no one to blame when things went to hell. And blaming someone instead of taking responsibility for his own weak plans—that was how Knox kept his ego functioning. And without the belief that he alone could make this revolution happen, I was sure he would have stepped aside and let someone else handle it a long time ago.

I shook my head. It was ridiculous, but if he wanted me to try to do more, then I would. I had no idea how to form a government, or how to make good on the promises I’d made the people, but I would do my best. That was all anyof us could do anyway.

“Hey, you. Hart.”

I began to turn, but someone shoved me from behind, and I stumbled into a pile of blackened wood. “It’s Kitty Doe, actually,” I said as I righted myself and brushed the charcoal off my trousers. I turned, facing the woman and three men who had me cornered. Perfect. I tightened my hands into fists, but that wouldn’t do me much good against all of them.

“Doesn’t matter what you call yourself. You’re still as much of a Hart as the rest of them.” One man, squat and with a ragged mustache, stood in the front, his lips pulled back to expose several gaps in his smile where his teeth must have fallen out. That wasn’t uncommon here. No use in the government paying for trivial things like dental work when the citizens of Elsewhere would probably die soon anyway.

“I’m an Extra,” I said. “I didn’t know who my parents were until—”

“You think we care about that, either?” The man stepped closer, his dark eyes narrowing. “Doesn’t matter who you were. Just matters who you are now. And you’re a Hart.”

A second man cracked his knuckles, and inwardly I groaned. This couldn’t be happening.

“The Blackcoats are on your side,” I said. “I’m on your side.”

“Then why do you sit up there in the manor all pretty and comfortable while the rest of us wallow in the mud like pigs?”

“You’re welcome to leave anytime you’d like,” I said.