Queen (The Blackcoat Rebellion #3)(47)
“Guilty.” Benjy didn’t so much as flinch as the crowd booed, and instead he kept his focus resolutely on us. I stared back. I couldn’t watch this. Whatever Daxton was going to do to Benjy, it would be a million times worse because of who he was to me. Who he had been to me, as far as Daxton was concerned. But I couldn’t look away, either. I couldn’t let Daxton steal the last glimpse I would ever have of Benjy.
“That makes things much easier, doesn’t it?” said Daxton, and though I refused to look at him, I could hear the grin on his face. “Benjamin Doe, you are hereby sentenced to death.”
For the briefest of moments, I let my eyes flutter closed. All the things Benjy and I had survived together—all the times we’d been so sure we’d lost each other, only to find our way back to one another again. This was it. This was the end. And I would never get to say goodbye.
We’d fought the last time we’d seen each other. We’d both said things we didn’t mean, and for some crazy reason, we’d both entertained the thought of being able to live without the other. Now he would never know how sorry I was and how much I needed him. Now I would never be able to tell him how much I really, truly loved him.
My fingers twitched toward Daxton, but Greyson immediately grabbed my hand and squeezed it. I had to bite my tongue to stop myself from saying something that would give Daxton the excuse he was waiting for to execute both me and Greyson, but I wanted to. More than anything in that moment, I wanted to destroy his world just like he was about to destroy mine.
I could have. I would have, consequences be damned. He could kill me. He could rip me apart limb from limb. He could cut me open and make my entrails dance while forcing me to watch. I didn’t care.
But I was already about to lose Benjy, who stood on a platform a thousand miles away, far beyond my reach. There was nothing I could do to save his life. Even putting a knife through Daxton’s gut wouldn’t stop his execution now that he had been sentenced, and if I tried, it would only mean putting Greyson’s life at risk, too. I couldn’t lose them both today. Regardless of what Daxton did to me, I couldn’t survive a world without either of them in it.
I was as powerless as I had been standing on top of the Stronghold, watching that missile head straight for Lila’s helicopter. Only this time, I understood exactly what was about to happen.
The executioner prepared Benjy for hanging in the same gallows Sampson had died in only minutes earlier. As they tied the noose around his neck, he continued to stare into the camera, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was staring at me. The only time he hadn’t been able to tell the difference between me and Lila was when he hadn’t thought it was a possibility at all. But now, maybe—
Maybe Knox had told him. With that small comfort in mind, I watched him in return, not daring to smile or indicate I had any attachment to him. But I didn’t look away, and neither did he.
“Any last words?” said Daxton, and Benjy smiled, his eyes watering.
“Find a little happiness. You’ll be okay.”
He did know. And though I couldn’t give any indication that I knew he was talking to me, I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, pressing my lips together. Benjy was everything good in my life, and without him, I wasn’t sure happiness could exist. But I would try.
Benjy continued to hold my stare as the executioner walked around to the control panel that would make the floor drop out from under him. Like Sampson’s rope, it was far too short to break his neck. Benjy’s death would be long, and it would be painful. And I could only hope he was prepared, because I sure as hell wasn’t.
“Wait.”
Daxton’s voice rang out just as the executioner’s fingers touched the switch. Greyson and I both looked at him, but he focused on Minister Bradley instead, who nodded once in encouragement.
“Out of the goodness of my heart, and because of your potential to contribute to this world as a VI who was, I believe, merely led down the wrong path—something we have all fallen prey to at one time or another, I’m sure—I hereby grant you, Benjamin Doe, a full pardon for your crimes.”
A murmur of shock rippled through the crowd, and Greyson caught my eye. I couldn’t smile, but everything inside me shattered into a million shards of hope, each one sharper than the next. They cut into me, and if I could have bled to death from desperation alone, I would have.
“I want to make this country better than it has ever been before, and I must acknowledge the mistakes of my forefathers,” continued Daxton, raising his chin. “I wish to extend the hand of friendship and peace to those who havesupported the rebels during this difficult time.”
Minister Bradley cleared his throat softly, and he and Daxton exchanged a look. Whatever was going on, this wasn’t completely Daxton’s idea. But he spoke the words anyway, and the world around me began to spin.
“Because of this, Benjamin Doe, you will henceforth work for me as an adviser, and your principles and brilliant mind will help pave the way for peace between our two warring sides. I want nothing more than to help the people of this great nation, and in order to achieve true greatness, we must forgive old wounds and allow ourselves to heal.”
My legs shook beneath me, and it was all I could do to remain standing. I didn’t know why Daxton had chosen Benjy to pardon, and right now, I didn’t care. All that mattered was that Benjy was still alive.